


In the Interest of Honesty

by hellacopter



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fighting As Foreplay, Fluff, Light Dom/sub, Masturbation, OR IS IT, One-Sided Attraction, Pegging, Pining, Priest Kink, Religious Guilt, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, how was that not a tag before smh, surprise! men lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellacopter/pseuds/hellacopter
Summary: "Lenora. You— you can call me Lenora," she stammered. His eyebrows raised again and, as they always did, settled, this time into a satisfied smile."If you're certain.""Yes. Good night, Max.""A good night to you as well, Lenora."She walked to her quarters feeling lighter than she had in days— weeks, years— maybe before she even left Earth.That Vicar sure is something,she thought, falling into a dreamless sleep, her name on his lips swimming through her mind.
Relationships: The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Original Female Character (mention)
Comments: 190
Kudos: 281





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ~back at it again with the thirst for a bad vicar~
> 
> This is a longer piece, I'm not usually one for a slow burn but I am confident that the anticipation will be worth it. We're going to explore the Captain's inner thoughts and emotions as she confronts her feelings for the Vicar, as well as the effects of Max's untruths on the Captain and crew. And it's a fun exercise to put Max's lines into a horny context.
> 
> As a side note: I'll write here when certain tags will come up. There won't be any explicit content until at least Chapter 6, but there will be some mature content in Chapter 2. Enjoy!!

“What about you? What’s your story?”

Lenora froze at the Vicar’s question. There was a surprising amount of gentleness in his voice— no cynicism or catch. Even his eyes seemed softer, and her stomach flipped at his genuine interest.

She’d avoided discussing her past, but studying his face in the low light of his quarters… Maybe it was time to be honest with someone.

“I’m one of the colonists from the _Hope_. A scientist, Phineas Welles, saved me and sent me to Edgewater.” She let out a shaky breath, releasing a well of pent up anxiety, and carefully watched his reaction.

Max’s eyebrows raised briefly before he relaxed his expression again. “Let’s pretend for a moment I believe you— what are you going to do now?”

“I want to help Phineas revive the rest of the colonists” she admitted. Her breath hitched at his sudden visible confusion.

“But why? Why risk your life now that it’s been given back to you?”

“I have family on the _Hope_.” There was an unavoidable quiver in her voice, which she stopped by clearing her throat and breaking eye contact with Max. She heard him suck in a breath and looked back at him, his eyes searching hers earnestly.

“I see. My condolences.”

She had been pacing around his room as they talked but suddenly feeling less fidgety, she joined him sitting at his table.

“I gotta say, it’s nice to tell someone. Thank you.”

“You mean I— no one else knows?”

“Uh… no. But I want to tell people, at least the crew,” she added hastily, throwing her hand out as a reassurance— if not for Max, for herself.

“You will find no judgment from me, Captain,” he responded with a smile that made her chest tight. “I can see why you would want to keep information like this close to the vest, so to speak; however, if I may voice my opinion, I do think telling the other crew members would be wise. We are unwittingly aiding you in your quest for the _Hope_ , but perhaps transparency will help your cause.”

“Huh. Yeah, I think you’re right. You know, you’re better at this whole counseling thing than you let on in Edgewater,” she joked, playfully patting his arm. She felt him relax into the touch. It was endearing and she wondered if he was as touch-starved as she was, even if just on a platonic level. Though wondering about touch and the Vicar in the same thought sent a wave of embarrassment through her, and maybe something more—

“Captain?” His deep voice pierced her thoughts.

She became aware that her hand still lay on his arm. She pulled it back slowly, as casually as possible, and said, “Sorry, Vicar. I’m real worn out from today, I guess. Uh… Do you think you could help me with telling the crew? I don’t want them to feel like— I don’t want to break anyone’s trust.”

“Of course, Captain.” Max smiled at her again, his willingness making her warm.

Lenora thought he gave her a brief questioning glance at her most likely adoring gaze but it left as soon as it came.

The evening continued quietly, not in noise but in treatment, Max seeming much more sympathetic one-on-one with her. Perhaps it was the weight of the discussion that softened him, or maybe the lateness of the hour, but she felt comfortable enough to divulge more of her pre-Halcyon life.

"I was a sous chef. No, really," she cracked up at his incredulous stare. "Part of me wonders how in the hell I ended up on the _Hope_ but… well, I gotta give myself more credit than that."

"... How so?" The judgment in his voice was _palpable_.

"I developed a system in the kitchen I was trained in that focused on the chemistry of cooking. I'm— well, I'm pretty science-savvy," she stuttered, embarrassed at the admission. "It sounds stupid when I say it out loud—"

"Not at all, Captain. Your innovation seems to have inspired people. To be included among the population of the _Hope_ is no small feat."

Her face burned at his complimentary proclamation. "Thanks, Vicar. I, uh… not everyone was as jazzed about my being there. My family was supportive but my… qualification was a running joke for a while."

"You've mentioned your family twice now. What led them to the _Hope_?"

"Dad was— is a chemist," she corrected herself. "No surprise there. Mom worked in a hospital in Chicago, chief of surgery for a few years. My brother— we're twins— wasn't much for hard science when we were younger, but he got into social sciences. A talented speaker. He was mayor of our hometown for a few years before… everything." She paused, mind wandering to her brother. "Weird, though. We won't exactly be twins when he wakes up, ha."

Max chuckled with her.

"What about your family, Vicar?" She suddenly craved knowing everything about his past, what brought him here. What parts of the Plan she didn't believe in led him to her— _err, to the crew_ , she corrected herself.

"Well, as I mentioned, my parents were laborers. Their work was honest work, but I never felt truly satisfied in the same way. The joy they found in their faith was one I envied. They weren't, as you say, 'jazzed' about my leaving to join OSI. We didn't speak much after that, but it was ironically them who ignited that desire in me."

"Was it hard? Going from farm life to that?"

"Yes and no. Rising from my station into unfamiliar social structures was difficult, but my drive for knowledge made everything seem… purposeful. I never questioned my decisions."

"Even leaving your family?"

"Yes."

She sat back at that, thinking of what it would be like to believe in something so fiercely that doubt was out of the question.

"So this Plan, then, if I follow my path, will that lead me to all the beauty and riches I desire?" she asked coyly, not especially caring for a serious response.

"You don't need to follow a different path to achieve beauty, Captain," he responded, causing her to blush. "The universe speaks to us, guiding us, and that path brings happiness of all kinds, different for every individual. We know we are following the Plan if we are happy." He paused for a beat. "Are you happy, Captain?"

His inquiry confounded her and she took a moment to find the words.

"I… don't know. I don't know if I've been awake long enough to even tell. I'm finding happiness, I think. Little moments."

"Like what?"

"Hm… these conversations. Joking with my crew. Feeling free to go wherever, be whoever. I'm not sure what I'm doing or where I _want_ to go, but I feel happy sometimes. I want to chase that."

"And I'm behind you every step of the way, Captain."

"Thank you, Max," she sighed, placing her hand on the table as an invitation. He took it and she squeezed, closing her eyes and exhaling at the same time. The touch was so soothing and her heart jumped, recalling how they both seemed so starved for affection. She released his hand and stood, turning towards the door.

"This was helpful," she affirmed.

"I found enjoyment in this as well. I look forward to many more counsels with you, Captain."

"Lenora. You— you can call me Lenora," she stammered. His eyebrows raised again and, as they always did, settled, this time into a satisfied smile.

"If you're certain."

"Yes. Good night, Max."

"A good night to you as well, Lenora."

She walked to her quarters feeling lighter than she had in days— weeks, years— maybe before she even left Earth. _That Vicar sure is something,_ she thought, falling into a dreamless sleep, her name on his lips swimming through her mind.

* * *

“... What?” Felix gaped at her.

Lenora looked around the kitchen at her now full crew. Nyoka, the most recent member of the ship, was studying her peculiarly. Ellie’s face was stiff and neutral— or, attempted neutrality that kept dipping into doubt. Parvati just looked… sad. And Max, he gave her a small encouraging smile from the back of the room, looking impossibly cool standing in his vestments with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Yeah, I know it’s a lot and I don’t expect you to believe me right now, but that’s why we’re going the places we’re going and doing the things that we’re doing. I just wanted to be transparent with you, I— I wouldn’t feel right hiding who I am.” That shaky breath came back but Max’s gaze grounded her. _At least I have him._

“You’re like… straight out of an aetherwave serial!” Felix gasped, eliciting smiles from the others. “Does that make us, like, your sidekicks? Fighting bad guys and solving mysteries and stuff?”

“You can be whatever you want, Felix,” she laughed hesitantly.

“Hey. We’re with you all the way, Cap,” Nyoka answered after a beat.

Ellie nodded with a smirk. “It’s kind of batshit, but I can’t say it’s the wildest thing I’ve heard in Halcyon. And if we get to make a few bits out of it, I won’t complain a lick.”

“Absolutely, Captain. We’re lucky to have you,” Parvati chirped.

“Indeed,” Max added softly, almost proudly.

Lenora beamed at all of them— _her crew_ — and collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table. “Drinks?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Captain! I didn't mean to interrupt you, I'm sure you're very busy…"
> 
> "Not busy at all, just... resting. Long day and all." She hoped he believed her bald-faced lie but realized it was hard to hide her sweaty, flushed skin and heavy breathing. It didn't take a genius to figure out what she might have been up to. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yeah this chapter made me sweat!!
> 
> It took all my self-control to not just upload this immediately after I posted chapter 1 cuz it's just too fckin good. Prepare yourselves.

Cascadia was one mortal wound short of a living nightmare, although the hordes of marauders and raptidons sure brought the fear. The town looked completely abandoned otherwise; buildings were falling apart, roads broken up, and the wall around the city was heavily compromised. Len, Max, and Nyoka were able to find their way into the old laboratory underneath the city that they were looking for and fought like hell to get through, all for  _ one  _ goddamn terminal password that was going to get them one of the rarest chemicals in the system.

“I hope this payout is fucking worth it,” Len grumbled, shaking Mantisaur blood off of her hands and peeling her feet from the sticky Rizzo’s drink residue on the floor.

“This is the part where I take over, Captain.” Max’s voice broke through her anxious frustration. “I’ve been cracking systems like these for years.”

“You look pretty smug right now, Vicar. Don’t blow it,” she grinned.

“I could make a joke with that, but it would be inappropriate coming from a man of the cloth.” He winked at her and she remembered something he’d said earlier in their journey to Cascadia:  _ “Well, I haven’t seen the system, but I feel confident saying I can split her asunder.” _

_ I’ll just bet you can, _ was the response.

Len stepped aside, gesturing for Max to take her place. He got right to it and made quick work of the encryption, overriding the terminal’s original function to redirect the storage tank contents to their ship.

He stepped away with a satisfied smirk no more than ten minutes later. Len had been fully distracted catching her breath and sharing a drink with Nyoka.

“Praise…uh, what do you praise again?” Len sighed with relief, stepping towards him.

“Normally the Law,” Max answered, “But in this case, you can praise me.”

Len’s stomach flipped once again and shook her head with a chuckle to hide the blush blooming up her neck and cheeks.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here,” she pointed her chin towards the exit and jogged out, her companions close behind her.

Back on the ship, Len stood in the shower, working the knots out of her hair and the tension out of her shoulders. She absentmindedly brushed her hand over her breast as she thought about Max’s attitude towards her in recent weeks. His quippy comments to her on this particular mission had her sweating, she couldn’t deny; it was as if he had stoked the fire she felt around him and the flames were really starting to burn her for attention.

She grabbed all the towels in the bathroom and placed them in a basket, dropping it in the hall with the other laundry for SAM to pick up on his cleaning routine. They’d all agreed to change in the bathroom after showers to avoid running naked through the ship after SAM kept trying to confiscate the used linens as people returned to their rooms.

There was that night that Felix had an unclothed adventure after three too many Zero Gee Brews. Max and Parvati were on business with the Captain in Stellar Bay, leaving Ellie and Nyoka to wrangle him into his bunk.  _ “It wasn’t even a fun booze trip,” _ Ellie had said. Len cringed as she tripped over Felix’s sweaty socks on her way out, grateful she hadn’t been forced to deal with the poor kid’s nudity and consequent hangover.

Entering her room, she contemplated Max and their relationship, specifically the closeness they’d fostered over their months together across the stars. Abstracted, it seemed so fantastical, romantic; in reality, however, it leaned more into a familial creation of habit with looting and shooting mixed in between. She didn't treat anyone on the ship better than anyone else, no, but had noticed the extra time she'd allotted several nights a week to spend in scientific discussion with the Vicar.

She enjoyed poking holes in his theories, testing his patience and offering alternative beliefs that he mostly scoffed at; sometimes, though, she was rewarded with a glowing comment on her intelligence, or gratitude for humbling him with her banter. Those compliments were validating not just to her experiences, but to her sense of self as a lost woman on the run. Being reminded that her insight was valuable, that he benefited from her in some way, filled her with… something.

That something sometimes manifested as either a peaceful feeling of satisfaction or a simmering desire low in her gut.  _ That _ urge had come more and more lately, especially since coming to Monarch. Maybe it was the constant threat of death that awakened something in her, combined with her recent closeness with Max.

It was almost embarrassing how often she had to excuse herself after accidentally brushing up against him in the hall, being picked up by him after a rough fight, or a rare glance into his room when he was out of his vestments and only in tight trousers and an undershirt. Lenora would lock herself in her room under the guise of being tired or needing to plan, but would instead fall into her bed with her hands between her thighs, trying to keep her gasps and groans as quiet as possible. Only once had she uttered a name as she finished—  _ Maximillian _ — but she felt so ashamed by it that she dared not try it again, no matter how  _ nice _ it felt.

It wasn't so much of a problem as it was a comical nuisance. Len was almost forty, for fuck's sake, and she had dealt with romance enough to know how to reign in ardent passions. She was his captain, first off, and the power dynamic wasn't appropriate; no matter how enticing the fantasy of power dynamics was, they became quite harsh and complicated in practice. Beyond that, she wasn't entirely sure she  _ wanted _ a relationship. Had he manifested any clear, undeniable interest, she might consider— no, she couldn't entertain the idea.

Situating herself on her mattress, she determined her behind-closed-doors fantasies were enough and only helped her keep a clear head. Closing her eyes, a line echoed in her ears and she imagined Max showing her how he could tear her asunder.

"Fuck…" she whispered as her hands worked deftly to absolutely end her. She bent her wrist to touch deeper, sliding two fingers in and out at a rapid pace, making an unholy sound and winding the coil in her gut. Her thighs tensed and burned as her hips bucked up off the bed and it crested—

The orgasm snapped through her, her inner muscles rippling around her fingers, slick with warmth. She couldn't bite back a weak moan that escaped very soft and at a high pitch, more like squeaks that petered out as her thrusting slowed.

She fell back on the bed covered in a thin sheen of sweat and drew deep breaths, her vision returning to her and the room stopping its spinning.

A knock at the door made her freeze completely, reflexively covering her naked body.

"Uh… just a second," she said, grabbing an old shirt to quickly clean herself and threw on some sleepwear.

Lenora opened the door with a hiss to find Vicar Max—  _ of fucking course _ — looking around sheepishly.

"Captain! I didn't mean to interrupt you, I'm sure you're very busy…"

"Not busy at all, just... resting. Long day and all." She hoped he believed her bald-faced lie but realized it was hard to hide her sweaty, flushed skin and heavy breathing. It didn't take a genius to figure out what she might have been up to.  _ Fuck. _

"Yes, I— of course. Erm, you weren't at dinner so I thought I'd check in but, uh, if all is well, I can— is all well?" He seemed visibly uncomfortable on some level and she realized she'd most likely been caught. He needn't have been at the door very long to have heard her grand finale.

"Yeah, I'm good. Fine," she tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace. "Thanks for checking in, Vicar. I'll see you in the morning."

"Of course. Good night, Captain."

The door swished closed and Len stepped back, floored by humiliation.

* * *

The next morning things were quiet and she hoped the previous night's encounter would be something they would never address. She found Max to be agreeable— normal— but as soon as he left the kitchen, Felix spoke up.

"Anyone else think Max is being weird?"

Lenora closed her eyes and braced herself. "Weird… how?"

"Well, we were supposed to listen to the tossball match last night but he shut himself away in his room instead. Got all weird and locked the door when I went to check on him."

Len nearly choked on her breakfast. "Yeah, I dunno, seems like we should just give him some space," she answered quickly and kept her head down. "ADA, play us some music?"

The crew looked at her confusedly as she got up and headed down the hall to the shared bathroom to take a cold fucking shower, knock some sense into herself, but bumped yet again into Max. He was exiting his room carrying a small basket of laundry, in which she saw only three things: the undershirt of his vestments, his pants, and a small towel.

_ Odd, _ she thought,  _ we don't keep towels in our rooms _ —

"Excuse me, Captain," Max said rather dismissively and scooted around her, avoiding eye contact.

Lenora stood stunned for a moment before turning heel back to her room, locking the door and praying to the Architect that any more interruptions were not part of the Grand Plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hot DAMN am I right!! Anyway, chapter 3 will be angsty and full of romantic tension because I enjoy pain. We really gettin there folks u_u


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So… you’ve danced before, then?”
> 
> “Are you asking if you’re my first?” he jested, amusement still painting his features.
> 
> “Don’t you go inflating my ego by making me think I'm special, Max,” she winked. She saw a change in his expression as she did, as if— was he blushing too…?
> 
> “No, you are not my first. I've had fun." He sounded hilariously defensive.
> 
> “The keyword being had,” she poked his chest. “We need to loosen you up. Show you an actual, real good time.”
> 
> “I wouldn’t mind that,” he said softly with a look that made her heart jolt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff and accidentally propositioning a vicar ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡° )

“Hey, Vicar,” she greeted him playfully. They hadn't spoken of _the incident_ and things had seemed perfectly comfortable since the initial awkwardness.

“Yes, yes, come in. I see we’re on our way back to _Groundbreaker_ ,” he said disappointedly.

Lenora cocked an eyebrow. “Do you want to keep dancing around Monarch with highly dangerous chemicals in our fuel tanks or can we drop the Alta-Vitae off with Sublight and be on our merry way,” she asserted with a deadpan stare.

“Of course, Cap— Lenora. I apologize, I... I’m anxious to find this translator in Fallbrook, but I now see the urgency of our current mission. You are the Captain and I should better trust your leadership.”

“Thank you, Max. I appreciate it.” She plopped into one of his chairs and glanced around his room, amused by the knick-knacks she’d swiped here and there that he had on display.

“So, Lenora. What’s occupying your thoughts?”

She couldn’t admit to him, and barely even to herself, the chills she got every time he said her name.

“Just ready to be done with this shipment. Lilya better have a good payout for us or I swear…” she grumbled, “but otherwise, I’m looking forward to taking you back to Fallbrook. For your book, I mean,” she added, heat coming to her face.

They hadn’t yet spent much time in Fallbrook, but it was the hidden gem of Monarch: an incredible resort town with quaint cabins; a stunning waterfall and river that cut right through town; and exciting nightlife, including the deadly, off-the-book missions offered by a salvage and smuggling business.

Len really did want to get back and explore Fallbrook for Max— the whole reason he joined her crew was to get a translation of the French journal that he was convinced had the answer to his life’s work, for fuck’s sake— but part of her was worried. _Is he gonna dip as soon as he’s got his answers?_

“There’s no way, right?” she asked later over some shitty Spectrum Vodka in The Lost Hope bar to a slightly buzzed Ellie and Nyoka.

“You can’t trust everyone to stick around for you, Cap,” Ellie winced. “As soon as he has what he wants, who’s to say what might keep him here or pull him away.”

“Hey, he's been with the crew for months, I doubt he’d abandon us after everything you’ve done for him.” Nyoka offered. Her tone was surprisingly considerate, calming the churning in Len’s gut.

“I’ll ask him once we get to Fallbrook. I don’t know if I want to deal with all that on the ride back to Monarch when I've got so much shit to plan, you know?”

“Fair enough,” Nyoka said. “To chasing our dreams,” she proclaimed with a raised glass. The three women toasted with a laugh and sat a bit longer before calling it a night.

Lenora stopped in to see Gladys on their way out, picking up a tip about trouble in an old city called Roseway. A distress call in a formerly-corporate-owned settlement that had allegedly been abandoned for years? That was right up her crew's alley.

As they returned to the ship, they saw that the Sublight workers had finally finished unloading the Alta-Vitae gas and the _Unreliable_ was prepped to fly again. Lenora swaggered into the control room with the liquid courage strong in her system.

“ADA, set us on course to Fallbrook.”

“Of course, Captain. Shall I play your favorite songs as we travel?”

"Real funny, ADA. I don’t want to hear the Spacer’s Choice jingle on a loop, and for the last time, it is NOT my favorite song.”

“Duly noted, Captain.”

Len headed to the engine room to check on Parvati; she was busy fixing up their SAM cleaning unit, so she continued to the kitchen for some water and caffenoids to stave off any hangover symptoms. At the top of the ladder, she bumped into Max emerging from the shower.

His vestments were notably gone, replaced with a set of casual daywear she’d picked up for the crew on _Groundbreaker_ . The top buttons of the thin cream-colored shirt were undone, revealing a smattering of chestnut brown hair down his sternum. She could see water clinging to the graying hair that framed his face, and the soap smell that wafted off his skin was _intoxicating_.

“Oh. So sorry, Captain, I didn’t see you there.”

“I was just coming up— I didn’t mean to, uh, interrupt you. Good shower?” She immediately cringed. She shouldn’t be asking her crew members about their showering habits, but she suddenly found herself craving to know what it would look like to see him naked and dripping wet.

“Yes, Captain, I do engage in regular personal hygiene, unlike some members of this ship,” he grinned. The usual bite was gone from his voice. He sounded relaxed, humored, which she rarely saw from him. They stood in the bathroom doorway, hovering around each other, close enough to touch.

“I’ll let you get to it, then,” Len said lightly and made a beeline away from him to the drug cabinet. As she downed the capsules, she couldn’t stop— didn’t want to stop— from ruminating on thoughts of Max in the steam of the shower, alone with himself. She wondered what he did when he was alone. Did he ever crave intimacy or affection? She had never seen him have any kind of romantic interaction beyond polite but earnest compliments of several older women they’d met on their journey, including Catherine in Fallbrook. But never once had he engaged in flirtation or witty conversation. Except with her, she realized.

Her stomach flipped again at the thought that maybe she was special. _That's dumb,_ she chided. She was thirty-eight goddamn years old— wait, no, she was thirty-nine. Her birthday had come and gone when they were in Cascadia…

Sadness suddenly washed through her and she slumped into one of the kitchen chairs, feeling sobered— maybe from the pills, maybe from the overwhelming memories that intruded her mind.

“What’s up, Boss?”

She jumped at hearing Felix and tried to keep a level voice.

“Uh… nothing,” she responded, wholly unconvincingly. Tears brimmed in her eyes at the query.

“Oh, geez, I didn’t mean to upset you, Boss. I’m sorry, I’ll just—” Felix stammered and started to back away.

“No! Please… please don’t go. Sorry,” she whimpered, wiping her face with her head down.

"It's okay, Boss. What can I do? Do I need to pummel someone for you?”

She laughed weakly. “No, no, it’s just… it was my birthday last week and I completely forgot. I spent my thirty-ninth birthday raiding a Mantisaur infestation in Cascadia while my twin brother is on ice somewhere, lost in space.” The tears started to fall faster but she stayed mostly silent, only sniffling occasionally while Felix rubbed her back.

“Well… I don’t know if this would help, but we could celebrate your birthday. Yeah! Right here on the ship!”

“I dunno, Felix, I…”

“C’mon, it’ll be a real boost to morale,” he said excitedly. “We didn’t really celebrate birthdays in the Back Bays what with being poor orphans and all. It’d be an honor to celebrate with you.”

Lenora was sure she was about to break down. “I’m— thank you, Felix. I’d love that.” Her mouth was twitching up from a frown and she quickly excused herself to her quarters, leaving Felix with all his wild plans. She cried curled up in bed thinking of her family and how they should be together, drifting off thinking of how they _would_ be together. Soon. She was sure of it.

* * *

When Len awoke, she wasn’t sure how long she’d been out; it could be minutes, hours, or days with how disorienting their space travel usually was, even with ADA running the show. She changed into comfortable worker’s wear that she found especially flattering on her figure— thirty-nine looked good on her.

Walking up the stairs to the crew quarters, she heard some whispers and then silence as she reached the top. The hall was darker than usual and the bunk doors were all closed.

“Hello? SAM?” she called, sure that the robot would be up and running, even if the human crew was asleep.

The kitchen lights suddenly turned on and she yelped, hearing “SURPRISE” erupting and echoing through the whole ship. Unfamiliar music played on ADA’s speakers and the shipmates all stood around the table that displayed lots of sweets, alcohol, and a dish of Bred noodles with boarstwurst pieces mixed in.

“Wow… wow,” was all Lenora could say without bursting into tears. She evened her breath and smiled wide at her crew— her friends— as Parvati came up and hugged her tight.

“Oh, Captain! We didn’t want you having to miss celebratin’ on account of gettin’ attacked by Mantisaurs. Wouldn’t be fair at all.” She bounced on her heels a bit, beaming with pride at the spread before them.

“Do you like it? Does the food look okay? Oh no, do you hate boarstwurst?” Felix inundated her with questions. “I asked Preacher Man here for ideas and he told me to fuck off so I said pasta it is.”

“It’s incredible, Felix, thank you. Thank you all so much, I’m—” she stopped, “What’s this music?”

“Oh, I… _found_ some music tapes on _Groundbreaker_ , soundtracks from old serials. Had ‘em for years but no way to play them until I convinced ADA to break corporate law and shut off those jingles. You can even dance to these!” he exclaimed. Felix then held out a hand to Ellie who violently shook her head, so he turned to Nyoka who gladly accepted.

“I’ve had just enough to drink that this seems kinda fun,” she laughed and let Felix spin her around.

Parvati subtly tapped her feet and swayed in the corner while she tinkered with the wall switch for the lights, and with a spark, Len saw the room filled with dim flashes of color. Scanning around, she saw Max slip between a hastily-drinking Ellie and still-bouncing Parvati straight to her.

“Happy birthday, Lenora,” he said in a low voice, barely audible over the music. It sent a shiver through her and she thought she might pass out from joy.

“Thanks, Preacher Man,” she winked, feeling real funny seeing a scowl appear and disappear instantly from his face.

“Never call me that, on pain of death,” he grumbled, but she just laughed in response.

“I trust you _not_ to kill me, Max. Although this party just about ruined me, this is… this is lovely.”

Her stomach fluttered at the satisfied grin he flashed her.

“May I have this dance?” he asked suddenly, bowing slightly and holding his hand out to her.

“I would be delighted,” she replied, humored, her whole body seeming to buzz when their hands met.

She hadn’t properly held anyone’s hand in… well, decades. She didn’t want to dwell on that too much at the risk of crying again and focused on the warmth of his palm, his calloused fingers brushing hers. His other hand landed on her hip, gripping her lightly. She slid her arm around his neck, pulling him slightly closer so she could hear him... but maybe to feel the heat of his breath on her cheek.

“Thirty-nine was off to a terrible start, but I think this makes up for it,” she gestured to the rest of the room and looked back at him. His pupils were blown wide in the dim light, which dimness she was grateful for; the intensity of his stare was reddening her face something terrible.

“Hmm. Thirty-nine. I suppose you didn’t need an adult on your ship, after all,” he mused, referencing their conversation when he offered to join the crew with Parvati who was about a decade younger than her.

“Do I not look thirty-nine?” she teased.

“Well… you do, but you have such youthful energy and a fierce tenacity for danger that it’s easy to forget you and I are closer in age. I suppose a lifetime of study and searching for answers has left me a bit drained, comparatively.”

She noticed how his wrinkles seemed to deepen with his frown in the low light and cocked her brow. “I— thank you, I think.”

“That was a compliment, Captain. I realize our witty repartee might not always be so transparent and for that, I apologize.”

“I love our repartee,” she muttered, blushing again.

They swayed in a slow circle as the music continued and Lenora prayed that he couldn’t feel the pounding in her chest. They had never been this close before, but now she couldn’t think of anything other than his warmth and how her height almost matched his, making their mouths so, so close…

“Can men of the cloth even do this kind of stuff? Like, dance, I mean. Or is that against the rules?” she asked suddenly, almost too loudly.

Max looked at her with amusement. “Followers of Scientism themselves are allowed all number of pleasures so long as it adheres to the Plan laid out for them. Members of OSI have strict rules to follow, but many common, casual practices are certainly not forbidden.”

“So… you’ve danced before, then?”

“Are you asking if you’re my first?” he jested, amusement still painting his features.

“Don’t you go inflating my ego by making me think I'm special, Max,” she winked. She saw a change in his expression as she did, as if— was he blushing too…?

“No, you are not my first. I've had fun." He sounded hilariously defensive.

“The keyword being _had_ ,” she poked his chest. “We need to loosen you up. Show you an actual, _real_ good time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” he said softly with a look that made her heart jolt.

“Fallbrook sure is nice,” she hesitated, “and that’s our next stop, so… maybe we can have a good time there.”

“We?”

“You and me. And the crew, if you want,” she appended, offering him an out. _Did I just proposition a vicar?_

Max just grinned at her, a face she’d never seen him make before. He looked almost… shy.

“Once we find my translator, I insist that you show me whatever it is that you deem a ‘good time’ in Fallbrook. I hear the cabins are livable and not too musty,” he suggested slyly.

 _Wait, did a vicar just proposition_ **_me_ ** _?_

The music faded out and Lenora quickly pulled away, feeling out of breath. _Probably from the dancing… Yeah, that’s it._ She darted her eyes around and no one seemed to be looking… 

Except for Parvati, who was leaning against the wall, staring right at her with a delighted look on her face. Realizing she was caught, she turned the lights back on and busied herself, stepping towards the table to check out the food.

Len felt suitably exposed now but sat down without acknowledging her or Max as she did.

“Great party!” Felix exclaimed with a mouth full of Purpleberry Bunch candies.

“I must admit, I’m… having… a pleasant time,” Max faltered, seeming slightly flustered. His surprising statement of general positivity evoked cheers around the table. Len smiled, feeling a similarly pleasant mood, and lost herself in the chatter and the feast before her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next stop: Angst City


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, folks B-)

Their time in Fallbrook had been even more amazing than Len expected. Beautiful, peaceful, and chock-full of gullible tourists with too much money and too little sense. Being back to running jobs on Monarch was messy and dangerous, even with Nyoka as a guide, so the slice of paradise was a welcome break.

As soon as Len finished up their more pressing business with Sublight, she was physically and mentally preparing to take Max to meet his translator. As the time grew closer and she recalled her conversation with Ellie and Nyoka at the bar, she felt more confident in her ability to tell him that she wanted him to stay.

She was warming up to the truth that maybe it was more than just wanting a spiritual counselor on her crew. She was a grown woman and she trusted Max implicitly, so regardless of the outcome, she was ready to offer up her idea of a good time to him. And with their recent interactions, she was becoming surer that he'd say yes to her.

Her mouth watered at the possibility that tonight she might be living out the fantasies she'd played in her head for weeks— months— and she wasn't about to stop that from stewing. In fact, she thought  _ what the hell _ and planned on visiting Catherine to rent a room and ask a favor. If she was going to show Max how she felt, she was going to do it right. She even put on her best suit, stolen from Udom Bedford on  _ Groundbreaker _ , to reflect her intentions.  _ Like I'm going to the prom or some shit _ , she grinned to herself.

After Catherine, she returned to the ship, climbing up the stairs to the communal kitchen and knocking on the bedroom doors as she went to call the crew together.

"Alright, everyone. We're here officially on Sublight business, but unofficially, Max and I are taking the evening to meet this translator of his. We might be gone until tomorrow morning, and if anything goes awry, I will contact you for backup. Otherwise, consider this your night off." Len felt like she had emphasized a possible danger enough that she and the vicar being gone for that long wouldn’t encourage any gossip. In figuring out her feelings, the last thing she wanted was distractions or embarrassment from her beloved but nosy crew.

Felix and Parvati immediately planned to spend the evening watching reruns of their favorite serial to prepare for the next episode. Ellie and Nyoka headed to the local bar with the intention of skimming extra bits off of unsuspecting patrons. SAM was already making his way downstairs to the control room where ADA had requested what ADA described as an  _ unscheduled deep clean _ .

“Maybe this will make him less mad,” Parvati muttered to Felix as she was making snacks for them, trying to be quiet.

“Doubt it,” Lenora answered, shooting a grin to Max who looked flustered.

“Wh— I am not  _ mad _ ,” he exclaimed defensively.

“You kind of are, Mr. Vicar,” Parvati boldly continued. “You just… don’t seem to like traveling with us much.”

“Why in the Architect’s name would you say that!?”

“It’s just that you’re real… grouchy. Kinda all the time?” she hesitated, Felix nodding in agreement beside her.

“I’m just, just… irritated by inane questions!”

“Yeah, see, when you say it like that… makes me wonder.”

“She’s got you there, Max,” Len pointed out.

Max tried to stammer out an angry response but kept his mouth shut tight, avoiding eye contact with a chuckling Parvati and Felix.

“Why does French make him so mad?” Felix wondered aloud.

“Maybe he’s just upset that he doesn’t know everything in that big brain of his,” Parvati offered.

Max looked steamed and opened his mouth to shout at them until the Captain stepped in.

"Vicar?” Len interrupted. “Meet me at the cabin at the far end of town in, let's say, an hour. I've got business with Catherine to finish up. Until then… Play nice," Len warned lightheartedly.

He exhaled sharply and peered curiously but didn't comment on her smart fashion choice. "I'll see you there, Captain."

* * *

The scene was set. A small table and two chairs were pushed against the wall next to a window looking out over the main thoroughfare. Dressing the table were several lit candles, two place settings, and freshly cooked raptidon steaks (courtesy of Catherine's people). The outfit Len had pulled from her closet was an hourglass shape made of red velvet which highlighted and dramatized her sharp facial features and tough, toned body. The white vest underneath and black ascot around her neck made her feel especially fancy, maybe too much so for the wilderness of Fallbrook, but she reminded herself that Max's usual ensemble was also straight out of Terra 2's capital so at least they’d look overdressed  _ together _ .

The snug room's mood lighting communicated a more-than-platonic intimacy that she hoped Max would pick up on. Of course, the fact that she'd brought no change of clothes with her might clue him into her intentions for the evening.

No sooner than an hour after she'd left the ship, she heard shuffling on the porch and rapid knocking. The door hissed open and she came face to face with the Vicar himself, vestments looking pressed and cleaner than ever.

"Captain," Max said urgently. His tone surprised Len and she studied his face: he was excited, distracted. "It's finally happening. I must thank you, I am one step closer to fulfilling a lifelong dream because of you. In a town as lovely as Fallbrook, of all places!" He seemed frenzied but utterly pleased.

"Max, I— you know I'd do anything to support you. I'm so glad we're here," she confessed. Months of anticipation for both of them were resolving tonight and she could hardly stand it.

"Well, then, shall we get on with it? I'm quite anxious to see this through. Years of work..."

"How about dinner and drinks after?" she deviated, putting a pause to his rapid verbal processing.

"Erm… of course," he said hesitantly.

She squinted at him but smiled all the same and slid the door closed behind her as she joined him on the porch.

"Captain, I… I truly can't thank you enough. I feel so much right now, I could—" he paused, bashful and blushing: a rare state of being for the vicar.

“You could kiss me?” she finished with a chuckle.

“I— um, yes, but—” he tried to play off the comment with a wave of dismissal.

“That isn’t very vicarly of you,” she teased, studying his face as she did, his whole being looking thoroughly embarrassed.

“I— I apologize, Lenora. That  _ was _ quite un-vicarly of me.” He laughed weakly.

“I wouldn't mind it, though," she quipped and looked at him expectantly, nerves tingling through every part of her.  _ Will he, won't he… _

Max stood stiffly, looking unsure of how to respond, so Lenora reached out and cupped his jaw, running her thumb over the smooth skin there. His eyes fluttered closed as she leaned in and brushed her lips against his cheek, exhaling lightly on his ear. Pulling back, she nearly laughed like a kid seeing his red face and meek smile.

"I'm afraid you've left me speechless, Lenora," he breathed, leaning into her touch, reminding her of the first time she touched him months ago.

"Let's go, Maximillian," Len whispered, "we can continue this later."

Max grinned and nodded. She thought she saw a cold glint in his eye, eliciting confusion in her that was overridden by absolute heart-melting adoration. They left the porch, him following her through town to the room rented to the translator, Chaney, and found some notes mentioning the man's proclivity towards gold panning. She led him to the waterfall at the farthest end of town where they continued their search.

She figured if Max could wander in his nice silk vestments, she could stand to wander in her suit. And wander they did, around rock formations that hugged the back of businesses and cabins, walking in the shallows following the river. At the end where the water met the settlement wall, Len could see a figure near a small glowing fire pit.

"That must be him," she muttered, trying to shake the water out of her dress shoes between steps. Max stormed ahead of her and she struggled to keep up, caught off guard by the sudden change in his body language. 

Approaching the figure, she saw him more clearly. A youngish, dirty man in cheap clothes. His hair and mustache were greasy and untrimmed. He was the exact opposite of what she expected a scholar to be, but if this was the Reginald Chaney that Max had been looking for, then maybe he could explain his unusual appearance.

"Max, is this the right—" she tried to say but was cut off when the stranger saw them hurrying towards him.

"What do you want— Oh, hey, Vicar Max? What are you, uh, doing on Monarch? I thought scienticians ain't welcome here," the man said in a pleasant if not surprised tone.

Max inhaled sharply through his nose, unexpected anger emanating from him like a furnace.

"Haven't you heard?  _ Everyone's _ welcome here. It's a fucking worker's paradise. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Max's voice dipped into a raging growl, one she recognized only from when they were in heated firefights with marauders and raptidons, or when Ellie and Felix pushed his buttons a little too hard. "Never worked a day in your miserable life. You're just a parasite living off my goodwill. Well, guess what? My goodwill's exhausted, along with my temper."

"This guy doesn't look like much of a scholar, Max. Care to explain what's going on?" Lenora asked, her concern rising.

"This is the guy who told me about the book while we were in prison. I lied about finding a scholar. But I don't care about any of that anymore. I just want to inflict  _ massive _ amounts of pain on this guy," he spat with bared teeth.

"Max, why'd you lie to me?" she interjected, exasperated by his attitude. She was starting to give less and less of a fuck about his bullshit quest for enlightenment every time he opened his fucking mouth.

"I couldn't risk you not bringing me here," he dismissed, barely giving her a second glance.

"It sounds like you have things to work out between you, I-I'll just be on my way—" Chaney started.

Lenora flashed Chaney a steely glare, making him freeze in place, before turning back to her companion. "Max, you should've told me about this." Her voice was shaking but no tears came, though she could feel her face burning— with betrayal now, not desire. Shame and ire replaced anything she'd been feeling before.

"Would you have brought me all this way just to watch me beat the life out of a greasy ex-convict if I had?" He turned to face her fully now, aggravation twisting his expression into a sneer, more unhinged than she'd ever seen from him before.

"I don't know, but what the fuck!" she yelled.

"Exactly!" he agreed indignantly, turning back to Chaney. "Now, where were we? Oh, that's right, I was about to beat you. Severely."

"Wait wait wait! I know who can translate the book for you!" Chaney yelped, cowering and throwing his arms up in defense.

"It's too late for that!" Max growled. "I threw away my life chasing fairy tales. Will punishing you fix any of that? Of course not, but by Law, it will make me feel a whole lot better,” he jeered.

"Max, stop," Len ordered, "maybe the answer you're looking for  _ is _ in that book."

"Okay, okay," he stood down and took a breath, brushing the front of his vestments in some show of forced composure. "Talk, Reggie."

Chaney told them about the origin of the book: a hermit woman on the abandoned mining asteroid, Scylla, who Chaney's father had stolen it from years prior. He abandoned it when he realized there were no buyers to be found due to it being French, and banned. The hermit was apparently an expert on Philosophism.

Lenora expected Max to scowl at the mention of the blasphemous religion he despised but found herself not wanting to look at him at all.

"You can go now," Lenora told Chaney, feeling and sounding completely defeated.

"Fine," Max grumbled. "We've got more important things to do, anyway."

Chaney quickly scurried away, leaving Max and Len alone once again. She felt like a pressure tank: full of searing heat, all of which could explode if she opened up even the tiniest bit. She resorted to crossing her arms and focusing on her breath, eyes screwed shut and lips sealed. It was as if the world around her was blotted out and all she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears.

Slowly, her senses began to return to her. First, she could feel the coolness of the breeze coming down the canal. Then followed the sound of leaves rustling, the distant chatter of people in town, and the churning of machinery in the buildings nearby. Finally, she felt the apprehensive presence of the person still standing next to her. She didn’t dare catch his eye so she stood still for a moment longer.

"'S go," she eventually got out and started heading back to town in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only gonna get messier from here!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and drinks don't go the way Lenora planned.

Neither of them spoke until they arrived back on the porch of the cabin. Len could feel Max's eyes on her and pretended to fiddle around with the key card to avoid acknowledging his presence.

“Captain, I— can we talk?”

“What the fuck about, Max?” she seethed, turning to him aggressively, kicking the water out of her shoes with little care of what it did to her nice fucking suit.

"I want to thank you for talking some sense into me back there with Chaney. It has been a long time since I gave into my… violent enthusiasm."

"Oh, spare me, Max. You lied to me about Chaney and I want to know why. _Now."_ Her voice dove into a deep growl that scared even her, but she relished the restrained fear on Max's face.

"You're right," he insisted, "I owe you an apology. I've been obsessing over this for so long… I couldn't see anything else. You offered me a place on your crew, friendship," he emphasized that last word, "and I used you to get to Chaney. And even then," he paused and looked intensely at her, "you saved me from myself. I don't know if I could live with myself had I gone through with it."

He sounded somber enough, humble, maybe even humiliated— but she was fucking mad as hell and she wasn't ready to let it go.

"I couldn't let you throw your life away to satiate some revenge fantasy, Max! Fucking hell, I— I couldn't have anticipated this and I can't just let you— and, and have my crew undermined by dishonesty? Fuck, Max." Len stared hard at him, not coldly, but sternly. "You understand that ulterior motives like that have no place on my ship, or in _any other_ part of my life?"

Max swallowed at her phrasing and nodded. "It was wholly unfair of me to put you in a situation that never should have existed in the first place. Truly, I am sorry, Lenora. I don't know how I could ever repay that," he admitted. "You owe me nothing, I know, but I… I'm begging your forgiveness."

His eyes seemed so wide, glistening in the lamplight. A pull in her gut distracted her anger for a moment, but she glanced away to refocus herself.

"Lo— err, friendship doesn't require repayment," she explained through gritted teeth. "You've done so much for me to justify sticking by you. I swear to the Law, though, you ever lie to me again, about anything, you're out." Her expression had softened but her voice was still hoarse and her jaw hurt from the muscle tension.

"Thank you. I promise, I'll be nothing but truthful from this point forward."

"Fine," she expressed flatly, the door to the cabin sliding open. She slipped inside, Max peeking in behind her.

"What's this?" he referred to the table.

Some of the candle wax had melted into the tablecloth. The food had most likely gone cold, and the dim light in the room felt more oppressive to her than romantic.

"Dinner and drinks," she muttered, pulled off her ascot and jacket. She didn't know what she was doing, if she should stay and send Max to the ship or return together. She remembered she didn't have a change of clothes, so opted to sit on the bed— a double-size mattress— to pull off her shoes, wringing the water out of her socks as she peeled them off, too.

She glanced up when he didn't respond and saw that his lips were tensely pursed and his face was unmistakably red.

"Was this your—" he cleared his throat, his words coming out raspy and weak, "was this… for me?" He seemed to know the answer, exposed by his doubly disgraced expression.

Lenora sighed sadly. "Yeah. Yeah, it was."

As they shared some kind of inconsolable glance, the heaviness in the room seemed to change. It was as if Max realized his deception broke more than just Lenora's trust.

She went back to her shoes, upturning them to let the moisture drip out, and hung her socks over the bed frame. Her angry energy was fading into exhaustion but she wanted to make him pay. The room, the dinner, the whole night, everything was a disaster. She thought of ways she could punish him— the first thought being to deprive him of touch. Maybe she could strip, lay on the bed and pleasure herself while berating him and forcing him to the other side of the room. Make him feel extra bad about ruining what should’ve been their perfect night together. She wasn't sure she could even get off but seeing him so defeated _did_ something for her.

"Shall I return to the ship?" His voice was so timid and small, barely rousing her attention. He sounded impossibly far away.

"I don't care. Sure, whatever."

He hesitated by the door. "You are… incredibly thoughtful and kind and you deserve far better than me. Thank you for your undeserved mercy, Captain."

The door swished closed, isolating her from him, the crew, the world. She crashed from the adrenaline high quickly, too drained to stay wired for long. No tears came— crying felt pointless and she didn't think this was worth the energy.

So what? He lied. Men lie. Her last boyfriend lied— ugh, boyfriend. That term sounded so childish to her now. The woman she'd dated after him, now that was a relationship that restored her faith in love. Once Len got picked for the _Hope_ , though… Embry didn't want to be left on Earth and have to wait, never knowing if she'd hear from her again, so things just… stopped.

Maybe she should've stayed, Len thought. She’d seen a future with her. They could've lived together in a little apartment in the city, Embry working on her art and Len taking the culinary world by storm. She wouldn't have to deal with all this bullshit.

Embry's response when Lenora told her she was accepted for the _Hope_ was sadness, anger, and surprise. _"I never would have pegged you as a company man,"_ Len could remember her wispy voice saying.

 _"But we're starting fresh,"_ Len had said, _"creating something better away from Earth!"_

_"Why not create something better on Earth, then?"_

She remembered the double meaning of those words. Embry had tears in her eyes, but Len couldn't just let the opportunity of several lifetimes get away from her.

_"It's not just about me, Em, it's bigger than that. You know that."_

_"... Yeah, I know."_

They hadn't talked much after that. Len knew that Em had more to say but she was too cowardly and selfish to let her speak her mind. She really regretted that, laying in bed light-years and decades away from that moment. Yeah, she should've stayed.

But then again, she would've died on Earth never knowing the fate of her family. _That_ was an intrusion worth crying over.

By the time her mind arrived at that thought, she was dozing off, welcoming the deep sleep that embraced her and allowed her to forget everything, if only for a few lonely hours. How she would address Max and the rest of her crew was a problem for Morning Lenora.

* * *

Morning Lenora wasn't much better off. She had a post-crying headache from getting in her feelings thinking about Embry and her family. Her parents had liked Embry, hadn’t they? _Shut the fuck up, brain,_ she scowled at herself.

She had the room for as long as she wanted, she’d been told. It was still dark when she woke up, though, so she wasn't sure how much time she'd be getting out of it to make Catherine's graciousness worth it. Regardless, she stumbled into the shower, not spending long there before getting pieces of her waterlogged suit back on. She'd have SAM wash it on the ship since she was sure as hell didn't want to deal with the stains. And the _smell…_

Len tried not to think about the circumstances that led to her very rough morning look. As she walked back to the ship, she noticed some early risers ready to take on the day, but most were hungover patrons staggering out of the bar.

Back on the ship, Len jumped at hearing ADA's usual greeting of "Welcome back, Captain" and quickly shushed her, running to the control room and sliding the door closed behind her.

"Hi, ADA. I don't exactly want attention on me right now so cool it with the noise," she grumbled in a hushed tone.

"Sorry for the bother, Captain. I can shut myself down and leave the ship to rot if you'd like."

"Hey, cool it with the snark. I'm sorry, I just… did Max come back last night?"

"Yes, he returned alone around 9 PM. He was approached by Felix and Parvati but told them to 'go away' and has been locked in his room ever since. Did you do something, Captain?"

"No! No, he— we had a disagreement, but— it doesn't matter. Um… Can you keep an eye on him?"

"Of course, Captain. If it's weighing so heavily on you, I can attempt to use my empathizing module."

"Well, okay, but this is just between you and me. So…"

Lenora unloaded on ADA who listened quietly, inserting the occasional exclamation. Her interface made all the correct faces of annoyance, anger, and confusion. It was oddly therapeutic.

"— And he had the gall to lie to me? I've been so fucking blind this whole time, he's just been using me. Ever since Edgewater! And... I don't want to just kick him off the ship, but I need to figure out if I can trust him. Honestly, though, I'd love to punch his stupid, smug face. Ruin that perfect hair he's always fussing with."

"His tendency towards violence might make him a perfect candidate for airing out your frustrations on."

"Could I take him, do you think?"

"Given your height and above average muscle mass, I would say he doesn't stand a chance." ADA's modulated voice sounded quite pleased at the prospect.

"Well. I'm gonna change out of this shit— tell SAM to grab whatever I leave outside my door— and think about it. Haven't punched anyone so deserving in a while."

"Good luck, Captain."

Len slipped into comfortable, dry clothes and glanced at her compression suit that she wore under her bulkier armor; rarely did she wear it by itself. It was perfect for tussling in and she could hardly wait to give Max a piece of her mind. Maybe if she won he'd leave of his own accord and she wouldn't have to make the decision herself.

Oh, but her chest ached at the thought of him leaving. He was too proud to stand down from a brawl so maybe she couldn't scare him off that way. Humiliating him in front of the rest of the crew, though… now, that was tempting.

Maybe he had been put up in his room all night with a bottle in his hand, shaking with fear, wondering what Lenora would do to him in the morning. Maybe he’d cried— ha, no, Max would never cry over his own bullshit— or written angry letters in defiance.

Fuck, she was exhausted. Maybe _she_ should lock herself in her room for a while and let her feelings stew.

“ADA, tell the crew they have a few days off.”

“Certainly, Captain.” ADA’s voice projected through the whole ship, “The captain would like you all to know you are relieved from your duties for the time being. Try not to get yourselves killed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, everyone!! Hope you felt as much pain reading this as I did writing it (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
> 
> Your feedback has meant so much to me, thank you for sharing my excitement in this story! I've got several more chapters already written and can't WAIT to share what's coming next, it might be my favorite thing I've ever written. See you next week ^^


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck it,” Len mumbled and raised her arm, meeting her fist with Max’s jaw.
> 
> A heavy CRACK echoed through the room, the crew gasping at the unexpected show of violence.
> 
> “FUCK,” he shouted, stumbling away from her. “What the fuck was that!?”
> 
> “I’m mad, jackass!” she retorted.
> 
> “Lenora, please—” he tried to insist.
> 
> “Don’t call me that, bitch,” she growled and threw another punch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is possibly my favorite thing I've ever written and I'm SO excited to finally share with you. Fist fighting is basically sex, right?

Three days later, not much had changed for Lenora. She rarely left her room and hadn't changed her clothes, puzzling the crew. They noticed the pointed lack of interaction between herself and Max. If the captain was around, Max made himself scarce and vice versa. The tension rose every new day that passed and everyone else was left with their own theories.

“We should make bets,” Ellie muttered late one night in the cargo bay, the farthest room from both the Captain’s quarters and the Vicar’s bunk.

“Maybe she spurned his advances,” Felix gasped. “Like in  _ Heartbreak in Halcyon _ .”

“This isn’t a serial, Felix,” Ellie groaned. “That said, I say old man Max couldn’t  _ perform _ and left Cap high and dry.”

“Maybe something happened with his translator,” Nyoka suggested, ever their voice of reason. “Maybe the guy stiffed them and took off.”

“I’ve never seen ‘em fight like this before. Makes me real nervous,” Parvati posed.

“It’s been a rough couple of days, that’s for sure,” Felix conceded.

Hours later, Len mustered some courage and stomped up the stairs, hoping to get people’s attention and succeeding as she heard stirring in the rooms. She cleared her throat loudly in front of Max’s quarters and knocked twice before his door slid open.

He looked… normal. Tired, maybe, but normal. Len found herself slightly miffed that he didn’t look like shit.

“Captain,” he uttered, glancing down the hall at the curious faces poking out from their rooms. He also did a scan of Lenora’s clothing and she saw his throat bob at the sight of her very tight suit.

“Vicar,” she spat, “join me in the cargo bay. That’s not a request, it’s an order.”

“Of course,” he huffed. It seemed her biting tone put him off.

He again followed her silently down, the only sound being the pattering of feet and quiet chatter from the crew as the group tried to inconspicuously follow.

Lenora led him to the center of the cargo bay and spun around to face him. He winced at her gaze and the fluorescent lights.  _ Maybe he  _ has _ been drinking. _

“Maximillian. I've had some time to think,” Lenora saw him tense slightly, “and I’m still fucking mad! What the hell were you thinking!? You think you can lie to your captain, to your  _ crew, _ who have been nothing but good to you? You think that’s okay?”

“Captain, I—”

“Would you like to tell everyone what you did? The bullshit you put me through this week?”

Max’s eyes widened in alarm seeing the crew looking quizzically between himself and the Captain. “I… I’m not sure where to start,” he stammered.

“For fuck’s— Our good Vicar here led me on a goose chase through all of Halcyon for a fucking revenge quest.”

The crew watched expectantly.

“I… I lied about seeking a translator,” he croaked. “You need to understand, this book… I stayed in Edgewater for  _ years _ off of a bad tip,” his voice started to raise, “leaving me wasted and trapped. All that anger came out in unhealthy ways and I’m—”

“Wait,” Parvati interjected, “you just wanted to— to beat this guy up or what? Because you had to live in Edgewater?” She looked… gutted. So much so that the color drained from Max’s face.

“It's not that, I—”

“He tried to kill him,” Lenora scoffed. “I put a stop to that, thankfully. So sorry you got stuck in a town that needed your help and all you cared about was your goddamn self!”

“Stop interrupting me! This was my life’s work!” he protested. “Years of study and searching wasted because a seedy convict wanted to pull one over on the Vicar!”

“Oh, fuck you! He only did it because he was sick of your high and mighty attitude!” Lenora got in his face and stuck his chest with her finger, her irritation rising once again. “Maybe if you weren’t such an insufferable ass that wouldn’t have been a problem!”

“Insufferable? Ass!?” Max spluttered. His face was twisting similar to that night and she was  _ loving _ it.

“Yeah! And I’m sure everyone here would agree with me on that.” She gestured to everyone, their attention scattering to the floor, the walls, the ceiling, unwilling to commit. “Okay, fine, but you can’t deny that you have a problem with dismissing other people. I thought we talked about this! I— I thought I helped!”

“What, so you were just trying to  _ fix _ me?”

“Wh— I thought you wanted my support! You said you had 'violent inclinations' that you were working— don’t fucking turn this on me!”

“I’m not turning this on you, I’m just pointing out—”

“You broke our trust, Max,” she snapped.

Max looked to the crew at that statement and they all slowly nodded. His face fell as he looked wordlessly back to her.

“After everything we’ve done together?” Len said, everyone gesturing in consensus. “And, and, all the good talks we had? All the fights we barely scraped through, we always had each others’ backs.” Felix's expression turned bittersweet. “And that night, I thought we— were really getting somewhere.”

Everyone paused at that, with Ellie snorting and Felix looking grossed out.

“That… that one doesn’t really apply to us,” Parvati whispered.

“Yeah, Boss, that’s not… we aren’t part of that,” Felix muttered.

“You made it about all of us, and then it wasn’t...” Nyoka explained. Ellie chuckled wickedly at that and elbowed Felix, who still seemed disturbed.

“I— okay, yeah, fair. That— nothing weird happened, guys, come on,” she groaned specifically to Ellie. “But  _ still, _ ” she redirected, “you fucked up, Max!”

"Might I remind you that you said you forgave me earlier?"

"Maybe I changed my mind!"

"Oh, like how you changed your mind about Edgewater?"

Lenora's brows furrowed at his words and his lips pressed into a firm line.

"The fuck did you just say?" she hissed, daring him to try her.

"I know what you  _ really _ wanted,” he sneered. “What’s power for your ship in exchange for a few lives, hm?”

“I made the right decision in the end, Max,” she huffed. “I saved Edgewater.”

“By ‘saving’ did you mean sending Reed Tobson to his death and creating a divide among his supporters and Adelaide’s? Then yes, Captain. The savior of Edgewater indeed.”

“Fuck you, Max.  _ Fuck _ you. Some holy man you are.” Lenora’s eyes were just starting to brim with tears, locked in a dark glare with the Vicar.

“So are you guys gonna fight or what?” Nyoka said, sounding almost bored at all the posturing.

“Yeah, punch him, Cap,” Ellie agreed, laughing at Max’s scowl.

“Really,  _ Doctor _ Fenhill?” Max bit back at her.

“Fuck it,” Len mumbled and raised her arm, meeting her fist with Max’s jaw.

A heavy CRACK echoed through the room, the crew gasping at the unexpected show of violence.

“FUCK,” he shouted, stumbling away from her. “What the fuck was that!?”

“I’m mad, jackass!” she retorted.

“Lenora, please—” he tried to insist.

“Don’t call me that, bitch,” she growled and threw another punch.

“You know, I was mostly joking about the punch,” Ellie added, still laughing.

Max caught the Captain this time, grabbing her arm as it came at him and twisted, eliciting a yelp. Len turned with the twist until she was facing him again, pushed his arm hard into his shoulder socket, and kicked him in the chest away from her. He slid back, a bit winded, but squared off with his fists and ran at her to throw another hit.

She dodged once, twice, but he landed a third swing to her gut and stunned her long enough to grab the front of her suit and pull her up. She could tell he was trying to throw her down with him to pin her so she lifted her hips as they both fell, wrapping one leg around his waist and the other around his neck. They hit the ground and both groaned in pain but neither relented as she gripped her shin around his head in a chokehold.

“Fucking–say–you’re–sorry–you–mother–fucking–ass!” she gasped, scooting them across the floor with each pull of her leg.

“Fuck–you!” he wheezed, flailing one arm and grappling her thighs with the other to try and release the hold.

“I would prefer if no one died inside the ship as blood stains are difficult to remove,” ADA’s voice suddenly blared in the room, which distracted Lenora long enough for Max to wiggle out and elbow her in the face, flipping over and pinning her like he originally planned. She tried to thrust up with her hips to kick her heels down from behind but realized she was stuck, his forearm across her chest to keep her in place.

“I thought the Captain would be freakier than missionary. Oh, but Max is a vicar so it makes sense,” Ellie chimed, looking at her shipmates for a reaction. “No? Nothing? You guys are no fun.”

Len’s left arm was somewhat free, protruding down between their legs. She moved it around and was both embarrassed and thrilled when she realized that just above her wrist was his—  _ oh, shit _ . She tried to slide her arm over to avoid his crotch and continued groping around until she found what she was looking for: the back of his vestments. She whipped her face forward into his nose but he moved back fast enough that she only clipped his chin. Still, less pressure from his body weight allowed her to sit up, pull his cassock, and flip him onto his back to reverse their positions. Len was sitting upright straddling him and grabbed his throat with one hand and his wrist with the other, his free arm grasping her strangling hold as she blocked off his airway. His eyes were wide looking up at her and she felt the slightest growth between his legs, right where her hips were pressed.  _ Is he turned on by this? _ Her face burned with his at the shared realization.

“There we go! That’s more like it,” Ellie whistled and clapped mockingly.

“Should we leave?” Parvati panicked at the display.

“Come on, you two. You both win. Or maybe we all lose,” Nyoka sighed, reaching to pull Len off of Max. “You’re like riled up canids,” she remarked.

Max immediately rolled onto his side with one leg out to cover himself, letting his head fall down as he only wheezed in response. His limbs relaxed around him as he coughed. Len teetered back and leaned over her knees, trying to catch her breath.

“You done?” Nyoka asked with an amused smile, rolling her eyes to the rest of the crew. “Let’s get some ice on those faces. Next time, save us the trouble and just kill each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Your comments have meant so much and I love hearing everyone's thoughts. I think you'll find next chapter especially satisfying (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
> 
> See you next week!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, I… after everything, we couldn't lose you."
> 
> "Be a terrible thing for a ship to lose its vicar, wouldn't it?" he joked.
> 
> "To lose a friend, Max. I couldn't let myself lose you."
> 
> His expression changed to confusion as he processed her words, then to sheepish awe. He leaned in close enough that she could smell his aftershave.
> 
> "The thought of losing me… hurts you?"
> 
> "It would ruin me, Max," she breathed, shaking under his gaze and becoming distracted by the beautiful bow of his top lip. "You ruin me."
> 
> "Ruin you? I've barely started, Captain," he chuckled breathily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!! I'm uploading earlier than normal because I wanted to give everyone a little holiday treat to start the new year off right. I also rewrote this chapter twice because I had to give the people what they WANT and DESERVE!

Lenora and Max were seated on opposite sides of the table glaring at each other while the rest of the crew stood around them in tense silence. He had a frozen raptidon steak on his cheek— oh, the irony— and she was nursing bruised knuckles with a bag of a broken-up chunks of a frozen dinner. Her abs ached and she kept wiping blood dripping from her nose, not removing her eyes from the vicar.

“I dunno, guys, I think under different circumstances you could’ve made us all a load of bits doing what you did. Sans clothes.” Ellie cackled at her own joke while the rest of the crew groaned.

“Vicar, sir?” Parvati piped up and stepped towards him.

He broke eye contact with Len and looked to the young engineer. “Yes, Ms. Holcomb?” he answered raspily, voice still rough from being choked out— twice.

“I— I know you two have a lot to work out between you, but I just want you to know I hope you find what you’re looking for and I— I'm glad you're with us,” she offered earnestly.

“Thank you, Ms. Holcomb. I am… truly sorry and I should not have taken advantage of such an extraordinary group. That goes to the rest of you,” he acknowledged the others in the room. “I promise to do better. For all of us.”

Parvati looked down, emotional but satisfied, and excused herself.

“We're leaving," Nyoka said as she also moved to exit. "I'm taking everyone rapt hunting to get out of your bullshit. You’re on your own.” She gave Lenora a pat on the back, forcing a pained hiss from her. The rest of them followed her out without another word.

Through several beats of tense silence, Max’s staring contest with Lenora continued but this time he simply looked exhausted. Not just physically, though; there was weariness and sadness in his expression and she found it difficult to keep a steady gaze.

She eventually cleared her throat, calling his attention. “I want to be able to trust you,” she began. “I— I realize I made this about more than just our relationship as captain and crew. I’m… sorry.” Her face burned at the admission.

Max looked surprised and leaned forward slightly. _“You're_ sorry?”

“I mean... Max, you’ve apologized and explained yourself. I think I need to work through some things.”

“Of course, Captain.” His use of her official title stung a bit now.

She started to laugh thinking about the events of the day, cringing at her own idiocy. He looked at her, startled, and waited in confusion for her to explain.

“Sorry, sorry,” she started, “I just realized… I punched you in the fucking face… when I was mad at you for trying to punch some guy in the face. That is… _so_ moronic.”

He grinned, wincing slightly at the pain in his jaw, and responded, “There is more to it than that, Captain, and I can’t say I didn’t deserve it.”

“Yeah, maybe you did, but that was irresponsible and hypocritical of me. ADA said I could take you—”

“What!?”

“— and I just kept thinking about it, and how I had all these stupid _expectations_ that night, and they were all ruined. I thought I knew what I was getting into and I feel so stupid."

Max’s face fell regretful. “I know it might be hard to believe right now, but Lenora, I promise I’ve been honest with you about who I am. I withheld my true intentions regarding the book, yes, but everything else… Being on your crew has been an honor and I have enjoyed every moment.”

“Every moment? So almost dying in Cascadia was a fun time?” she joked with a weak laugh.

He smiled, with less of a wince this time, “I thoroughly enjoyed storming an infested secret laboratory with you. I also recall you telling me ‘Don’t blow it’ to the most dangerous hacking job I’ve ever attempted.”

“It was funny,” she shrugged.

“Erm… you mentioned expectations,” he redirected her.

“Ah. Um…” she failed to find words. “I mean… you saw the spread at the cabin.”

“I did.”

“And… you were on the porch.”

“Yes.”

His short answers were frustrating her due to the fact she _one hundred percent_ did not want to _say it_ out loud.

“I just… thought things would go differently.”

Max’s eyes widened and his expression stilled. “Dinner and drinks.”

“Uh… yeah.”

“What… what exactly did you have in mind?” His voice fell a bit deeper. His tone sent chills through her. She’d never heard him like this and she fucking _liked_ it.

“Well, I rented that whole cabin,” she breathed and leaned forward, dropping the makeshift ice pack as she supported her chin with her joined hands. “I meant it when I said we could continue what we started. Just— until—” she suddenly choked up, the embarrassment of that evening returning to her.

Max swiftly threw his chair back and made his way over, sitting beside her and gripping her arm. “I’m so sorry, Lenora. And I… I’d… like to, uh… We could attempt dinner and drinks again. One that won’t be interrupted by my violent inclinations.”

“... Dinner and drinks? Vicar, are you asking me out because I beat the shit out of you?”

“Captain, you did definitively _not_ beat the shit out of me. At most, it was a _tie_.”

“Fuck no, I had you pinned _twice_.”

“Yes, and thank you for that,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. He dropped the thawing raptidon steak and straightened his cassock, brushing where they had spots of her blood on them. “Good thing SAM never sleeps.”

“I’m really sorry, Max. Seriously. And… I think we can work through this if you’re willing.”

“Absolutely,” he exclaimed, jumping at her offer. “Yes, I— whatever you want.”

She bit her lip to prevent from saying anything filthy with innuendo. “This is a good start, Vicar."

He slid his hand across the table and grasped her good one. In a gentle tone, he hummed, “Of course, Lenora. Now let me change into something with less of your blood on it.”

Len left the table and spent the next hours alone filled with a tension that she couldn't quite place, busying herself by quietly laundering their clothes and heading to his room to return them.

She couldn't help but bite her lip as she entered, seeing him leaning against the wall in that thin undershirt. She could easily follow his chiseled chest, the soft contour of his stomach, the sharp angle of his hips jutting up, that velvety chest hair—

"You do know how to make one exceptionally self-conscious, Captain," he remarked.

"Sorry," she said stiffly and blushed at being caught then handed him his vestments. "They're clean." 

"Thank you." He paused, sensing her hesitation. "What's on your mind?"

She was surprised by his intuitiveness and instinctively crossed her arms. "Um… nothing, really. Always weird to see you out of your vestments, though. Like the holy man is gone and you're just… a man."

"I'm always just a man, the same flaws and temptations remain with me in or out of my clothes." He bristled slightly at his phrasing and cleared his throat. "I apologize if it's too much of a distraction for you."

Len laughed at that. "Just because I can enjoy the view doesn't mean I'm not functional."

"I'm sure," he smiled knowingly. "Would you care to join me?"

"I wouldn't mind it," and she stepped towards him, looking at some of his books with the intent of pretending to care about literature on Scientism.

Before she could sit, he stepped slightly closer to her. She tensed.

"Lenora," he said in a low, quiet voice as if calling out her reaction and glanced at her.

"Hm— yeah?"

"You seem nervous."

"Nope, I'm— it's all good. Fine."

Len jolted when she felt his fingers flutter against her hand. She could _hear_ her heart beating in her ears and was sure he could too.

"I just wanted to say," he sighed contentedly, "thank you for your trust. Architect knows I don't deserve it but still, you give it. Thank you." He squeezed her hand with care, his eyes swimming with gratitude.

There was no hiding how her breathing had picked up and how flushed her neck and face had become.

"Well, I… after everything, we couldn't lose you."

"Be a terrible thing for a ship to lose its vicar, wouldn't it?" he joked.

"To lose a _friend,_ Max. I couldn't let myself lose _you."_

His expression changed to confusion as he processed her words, then to sheepish awe. He leaned in close enough that she could smell his aftershave.

"The thought of losing me… hurts you?"

"It would ruin me, Max," she breathed, shaking under his gaze and becoming distracted by the beautiful bow of his top lip. "You ruin me."

"Ruin you? I've barely started, Captain," he chuckled breathily.

Lenora's gaze dropped and she closed the distance between them, her mouth barely meeting his in a hesitant encounter from which she pulled back quickly.

"Fuck," she whispered. Her voice sounded so small as the blood rushing in her ears grew louder.

He looked at her worriedly. "Have I overstepped?"

"No, no, please, I'm— just—" she rushed, and leaned in for a firmer kiss.

It was chaste. The warmth of his mouth on hers was so shocking that she forgot to inhale, fearing she might float away by how dizzy and fluttery she felt. The tickle of his shuddering breath pulled her back to Earth, grounding her firmly in Max's room, not lost in the cosmos.

They broke away and stared at each other surprised and speechless but returned for a hungrier embrace.

Len slipped her tongue against Max's, pulling a beautiful chorus of moans from him that she nearly fell over from hearing. Their chins and noses brushed, the featherlight touches scorching her skin and sending shockwaves through her nervous system. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her closer. The moment of possessiveness stirred something _delicious_ in her.

He tasted like… She couldn't even place it, her mind was short-circuiting. He tasted like _Max_ and every sense, _all_ of it, was intoxicating. She worked to pull another moan out of him, this time by sucking on his neck just below his ear before returning to explore the back of his teeth with her tongue.

"By the Law, Lenora. _Fuck."_

Len could barely process the emotions passing through her— the transfer of feeling after feeling from her lips to his— and her one-track mind only focused on the surprising physicality that _her vicar_ was delivering.

Here she was with her holy man, exposed even being fully clothed, betrayed by the natural responses in her body that revealed what was on her mind: _him._ He was a gift offered by himself, partially unwrapped from his full vestments which added a thrill— as if reflective of his current spiritual state, struggling to stay strong in his convictions but unwilling to step away from the forward momentum of _want,_ his heart and body propelling him on.

As if reading her thoughts, Max swayed them towards his bed and raised an eyebrow at her. She only nodded into another kiss and pushed him back in response, straddling him as he sat. They gripped and grabbed, his hands on her waist and snaking into her hair; her fingers tickling his chest and scratching his scalp. Each individual touch was enough for her to forgive him ten times over.

Lenora stiffened briefly, realizing she could feel his growing erection pressing into her inner thigh. She experimentally rolled her hips once and he groaned into her mouth at the friction. She didn't continue the motion because it felt almost... _too_ intimate. Too much, too fast, if there was such a thing. The simplest affection alone was overwhelming enough for her and she was oddly nervous about going any further. She instead pulled his collar down and splayed her hands across his blazing skin, across his clavicle and down his sternum, curling into the hair there.

She stopped for a moment as her mind started to catch up with her body, fully realizing what the _fuck_ she was doing. Maybe it was the throbbing pain in her face and ribs returning that distracted her, but she pushed through the discomfort and settled on enjoying the gentle pressure of her chest against his, the smoothness of his shaved face brushing against hers. Despite her racing thoughts, the closeness was both exciting and comforting.

Suddenly, they heard the doors to the ship hiss open below and the rest of the crew returned, all enthusing about something— probably grateful to have been away from the fighting. She scrambled off of Max's lap with a pained grunt and straightened herself out, him standing with a groan and sliding on his cassock as well as adjusting his pants. Both of them appeared presentable and inconspicuous enough.

The sounds of her shipmates echoing up the stairs warmed Lenora’s heart. Starting to feel more at ease, she reached out and brushed the inside of Max’s wrist with her fingers before pulling away as the voices traveled closer. They both stepped into the hall and she offered him her hand to shake, which he gladly took.

“We’re too fucking old for this… I’m sorry, again.” Lenora sounded slightly embarrassed but in much better spirits.

“I forgive you a thousand times. I look forward to working with you, Captain,” he grinned.

“You as well, Maximillian.” She saw him perk up at hearing her say his name so fondly and opted not to think too hard on that, nor think about future repeats of their previous situation where she might say his name to please him. _Well, maybe when I’m alone._

“Aw, did mommy and daddy make up? Fantastic,” Ellie grumbled, heading to her room.

Max brisked at Ellie’s comment, striking Len, and she searched his reddening face. _Interesting._

“Are you two… okay?” Parvati asked, approaching them cautiously.

“Yeah,” Lenora gave a humbled nod. “We’re good.”

“Oh, thank the Law!” she squealed, bouncing towards them. “We were so worried— well, ‘cept Ellie, but I think she cares in her own way. I gotta do some tinkering to get all this out afore I explode.” She wandered to the ladder that led to the engine room, smiling to herself as she went.

Felix gave them finger guns as he entered the room and went to the fridge. “In the Captain’s words: ‘Drinks?’”

* * *

“That fight took it out of me,” Max announced, stretching as he stood from the table where the rest of the crew sipped their drinks. “It is time for me to retire. Good night.” They all raised their eyebrows at his abruptness but said their goodbyes as he promptly turned down the hallway and slipped into his room without another word.

One by one, the rest of the team headed to bed, leaving Lenora alone with her thoughts and her aching body. She didn’t much feel like being isolated, so she went down to the control room to check in with ADA.

“Anything new for me, ADA?” she asked absentmindedly, slumping into a chair by her console and swirling a glass of vodka.

“You asked me to keep an eye on Max,” ADA reminded her.

“Oh. Yeah, I did. Something to report?”

“Yes, Captain. As soon as he entered his room, he laid down and engaged in an act of self-pleasure.”

Len fully choked on her drink, alcohol burning her throat as she pounded her chest to cough it all up. After a moment of wheezing, she sat back up. “ADA, what the fuck!? Do you always watch people when they— when— that!?”

“No, but you specifically requested me to ‘keep an eye on’ Max, so I did.”

“What the fuck— no more of that. None of it. That’s so fucking creepy.”

“Do you not want to hear about what he said during?”

"What he said…?"

"You might find it quite interesting."

“... Okay, fine, hit me with it.”

“He may have whispered your name, though I’m sure there are plenty of other words that rhyme with ‘Lenora.’ He also seemed to enjoy squeezing his own neck. I can't imagine why.”

“The sarcasm, ADA, we talked about this. But… Fuck me,” Lenora muttered under her breath. “Well… Probably don’t keep an eye on him _like that_ anymore, okay?”

“Of course, Captain. Should I not inform you that he has just started again?”

“Wha— you should _probably fucking not._ Shut it down, ADA. Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy #$!% we did it, we got some kiss!! Yeah!! We love a soft, horny vicar ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
> 
> Next stop is Roseway! Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos, I didn't expect this response when I started writing and it means so so much to me. I love hearing your thoughts and reading your comments, it's been such a great joy and I hope this new chapter lives up to your expectations!! Thank you again and I hope you all had a great holiday!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Listen, you _prick,”_ she spat, “you are on this ship under my order, here by my good graces. I let you stay once, don’t test me again.”
> 
> His eyes widened with unease and anger. “You would really kick me off the ship for _saving your life_ over some wounded pride?”
> 
> “Over _insubordination,_ you asshole! Can you not fucking see how infuriating you are sometimes?”
> 
> They were so close, breaths in each others’ faces, and Len could feel herself gearing up to punch him again until he grabbed her face and kissed her.

The crew of the _Unreliable_ were grateful to be leaving Fallbrook. Being grounded there for so many days was unusual, unexpected, and not especially enjoyable to the point where some of them were starting to feel planetary cabin fever.

"Back to Terra 2, ADA. We've got a navkey for Roseway. Let's hope this works," Lenora ordered her AI companion.

"Of course, Captain. Commencing take-off."

The flight gave them time to rest from their rest. Occasionally they would all pile into the Captain’s quarters or the control room (though ADA expressed her displeasure with being crowded) and look out at the stars together, bonding time that Len found especially touching. She missed her family fiercely some days; sometimes she could keep it from distracting her, but time with her shipmates helped ease that pain in an odd way. They weren’t replacements, nor were they placeholders; they were new family, unexpected additions that made her goals seem so much more possible.

A few hours into their flight, she found herself at her desk, drawing in an old sketchbook she’d found among the previous captain’s things. She drew the wild plants on Monarch from memory, the current view from her room, and started outlining Felix with his prized tossball stick when she heard a soft knocking at her door.

“Come in,” she called, turning to see Max enter, his blue vestments noticeably cleaner and lacking in blood spatter. “You sure clean up nice.”

“I can’t say the same for you, Captain,” he chuckled, referencing her clothes that still had stains on them from Cascadia.

“Ha, ha,” she rolled her eyes, “you have the benefit of being as stiff as SAM so he thinks you’re one of him.”

He silently moved to look over her shoulder and made a small impressed sound at her drawings.

“I can draw you next,” she said, focusing on the wave of Felix’s dark, silky hair.

“That— that would be an honor.”

He sat on the edge of the table, watching her hand intently as she flipped to a new page and started sketching his profile. A strong jaw; long nose; and sly, tired eyes. She shaded in his face to illustrate his sharper features and moved to his neck. She included the slight bruise marks she’d left on him that still dotted his skin.

“Wh— what’s that?” he suddenly asked, sounding slightly embarrassed.

“Your bruises. From when I choked you out. Erm… sorry about that, again.”

“Oh! Oh, of course. Yes. You have quite the grip.”

She bit her lip to hide a grin, thinking about what ADA had told her last night. “Why, you into that?” she accused, pausing to check his reaction.

He froze. “I… um…”

“Got it. That’s all I needed to know,” she cackled, relishing his discomfort. “It’s not always that I can render you speechless, Vicar. Guess I had to choke some silence into you, huh?”

“Y-yes, Captain, so it seems,” he remarked breathlessly.

“You sure like being held down for a man in high power. Wonder why that is.”

“I— you—” he gaped at her, starting to look almost annoyed.

“I’m just messing with you, Max, you can calm down now. If you wanna lose your hard-on, I can show you my gory raptidon drawings.”

“What— I do _not_ have a— what did I do to deserve such _unprofessionalism—_ ”

“Max, you punched your captain in the gut yesterday.”

“Yes, after you started it!”

“See? We’re _both_ unprofessional. Law, I love winding you up,” she laughed, turning back to her book. She could feel him scowling at her.

After she let him stew for a bit she chimed, “I can show you some of my Earth drawings.”

He immediately perked up at that. “I find hearing these elusive Earth tales very interesting, Captain.”

“Thought you might,” she smiled again, moving to her bed and patting the spot next to her. Their legs were barely brushing against each other as they sat and she had to take some slow breaths to be able to speak normally without his proximity sidetracking her.

“I grew up just outside of Chicago,” she explained, flipping to pages of a city skyline, then of buildings on the water. “The Lakes were polluted to hell so we didn’t get much use out of the water. Pretty, though.” She turned the page. “My parent’s place.”

The sketch was of a narrow two-story greystone building surrounded by beds of flowers. A small set of stairs led to a covered porch with a bench swing hanging on it. Part of the front of the house extruded into a half-tower topped with a turret.

“It’s Victorian,” she explained, pointing out the different pieces of architecture. “It’d been remodeled many times, of course, else it wouldn’t have been standing by the time my folks got their hands on it. It was a nice place… to grow up.” She didn’t mean to sound so sad.

Max placed his hand under hers that held the book up and looked earnestly at her. “It’s lovely. And what's this?” he inquired, pointing at a shape in the window.

"That's a painting easel. My girlfriend was an artist and the front room had the best lighting so she kept her supplies in there."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, we broke up before I left Earth and she's probably long dead now."

"Oh, no, Captain, that's not what I—"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Len assured him. "Her name was Embry."

"And she stayed on Earth?"

"She didn't want me to go but knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so… we split up. Probably a good thing since I was lost in space for a few more decades than planned."

"Ah. I'm sure it pained both of you to make that sacrifice. It was quite brave of you both to let each other go. I'm sorry, Captain."

“Oh, um… Thank you, Max. That means a lot,” she whispered, barely turning her head to face him fully and once again found herself desperate to be close to him. The air felt electric as if a current was moving between them, connecting them. She leaned forward ever so slightly, which he mirrored, and held her breath as she parted her lips—

“I apologize for interrupting, Captain, but we are arriving in Roseway,” ADA declared. Len could’ve sworn that ADA sounded smug. _Is this payback for interrupting her alone time with SAM or something?_

“Thanks, ADA,” she sighed, leaning away from Max and standing up, offering him her arm. He took it graciously and tried to hide the grunt of pain he let out as he met her height. His eyes flicked down to her lips again and back to her eyes with a longing glance.

“I’ll meet you downstairs, Captain,” he shared in a low voice that sent chills through her.

“Sure thing, Vicar,” she gulped. _Fuck, that voice._ And shortly after, they were off.

* * *

Lenora tensed at the stream of cold water that SAM sprayed her with, raptidon viscera sloshing off in the blast. She, Max, and Felix were standing on the landing pad outside of Roseway with their arms and legs out and apart, turning slowly to let SAM do his work on their sorry selves. Felix was the worst off and the last to get sprayed down, Max and Len leaving him as they entered the ship.

They at least had quite the spoils to show for it. Len hoped Gladys would be pleased with their work and compensate well. Leaving behind dental paste research that Dr. Anton Crane was _desperate_ to hold onto, they had procured illegal experimental weapon plans and two whole bottles of rare essence of raptidon, known for its… aphrodisiacal properties. She’d kept the bottles tucked safely in the vest beneath her chest plate and checked to see they were still there, patting herself down as she entered her room.

"We better get our fuckin' money's worth this time," Len grumbled as she dropped her pack on the floor and stripped off her armor. Her underarmor was dripping so she made quick work selecting several sets of new clothing she’d gotten on _Groundbreaker_ for the three of them, holding them up as she turned back to Max.

“Yes, things certainly could’ve gone better,” Max conceded, standing stiffly behind her.

“Oh yeah? You mean _you_ could’ve been a little quicker on your feet?” she snapped back, throwing him a frustrated look.

“I did a perfectly fine job!”

“Okay,” she scoffed, “tell that to Felix who almost got gutted by a raptidon because your slow ass couldn’t move fast enough.”

“I’m not sure _where_ this is coming from, Captain, but if you have a problem, by all means, tell me.”

“You don’t listen! You run into a fight with no strategy and today you left Felix with no backup—”

“I’m so sorry protecting _you_ was my priority, Felix disregarding his own safety is not my responsibility. Do you deem him incapable of—”

“No, I deem _you_ incapable of taking orders. I’m your captain, you’re my crew. That’s how this works.”

“So you don’t trust me,” he huffed.

“If you don’t do what I say, then yeah, I have a hard time trusting you.” Her eyes were narrowed at him and her lips were pursed, a familiar bubbling rage rising in her gut.

He stepped towards her in a menacing way that almost scared her. _Almost._ “We lived, didn’t we? Shall I leave you defenseless next time?”

“Are you so sure that I’d die without you, Max? Come on,” she rolled her eyes at his bravado.

“If you’re that blind to how I carry our team in combat, yes!”

“Listen, you _prick,”_ she spat, “you are on this ship under my order, here by my good graces. I let you stay once, don’t test me again.”

His eyes widened with unease and anger. “You would really kick me off the ship for _saving your life_ over some wounded pride?”

“Over _insubordination,_ you asshole! Can you not fucking see how infuriating you are sometimes?”

They were so close, breaths in each others’ faces, and Len could feel herself gearing up to punch him again until he grabbed her face and kissed her.

She immediately dropped the clothes, her arms flying up at her sides in surprise.

It was a heady kiss, all outrage and offense, and their body movements both started to reflect that. She dug her nails into the back of his neck and reached her other hand to grip his throat while he tugged her hair in a painful attempt at control. They were all teeth and tongue, biting and sucking with guttural growls and subdued moans.

He stumbled forward, pushing her until they bumped the desk. She fell back and pulled him with her, grunting as they hit the chill surface. Both of them were still filthy and damp, yet that didn’t stop Max from kissing and nipping down her neck. He slid a hand up her body to brush over her breasts and started slow, shallow thrusts against her thighs that he was straddling, and she tensed at the overwhelming combination of sensations that caused her mental function to fail quickly. She weakly pushed back with her hips, holding back a moan and opting to breathe heavily out of her nose to avoid any noise tipping off the crew outside her open door—

Feeling his cock fully harden against her got a quiet _“Shit”_ out of her and she dragged his face back to hers and bit his lip painfully to keep herself quiet.

Felix’s voice broke through their clouded minds from the ship’s entrance. “Boss? You up there?”

Lenora shoved Max off of her so fast he almost fell over and yelled down, “I’ll bring some clothes for you in a bit.” She frowned at Max and lowered her voice, “We are not done here. Go change and when you’re done being an asshole, we can talk again.” She grabbed the suits again and dismissively handed him one, shoving him back towards her door in the process.

He looked at her quizzically for a moment as if he had more fury to enact but turned without a word and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else ship Felix with their Captain bc THIS GIRL DOES!! I have an idea for a brief Felix/Captain scene in the next chapter or two, let me know if that's something you'd be interested in?? Otherwise I might make it its own thing in a separate oneshot fic.
> 
> Anyway! I love it when these two idiots fight. I almost threw in Max being jealous with a scene between the Captain and Anton Crane but it didn't really fit here so I left it out. I love toying with a possessive and sometimes submissive Max, he's not used to being overpowered but the Captain really is his match in that regard >:)
> 
> As always, THANK YOU for reading. Your comments mean so much to me and it is an honor to be in such a supportive, creative little fandom. Any and all feedback is appreciated! Chapter 9 is coming soon, I have uni starting back up in a week so will be trying to write ahead of time as much as I can to continue to keep these updates consistent. So far I have 12 chapters total, with maybe a chapter or two more once I decide on an ending haha ^^ Enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she muttered, turning into a yell, "EVERYBODY OUT!"
> 
> "Boss, what's—"
> 
> "Out, out, out, we've got a chemical spill," she shouted down the stairwell, forcing Felix out of the room and hastily removing her vest and top until she was just in leggings and a cropped undershirt.
> 
> Nyoka, Ellie, and Parvati were standing near the outside door having a casual discussion and jumped at the Captain's exclamation.
> 
> "... What kind of chemical spill?" Ellie asked warily.
> 
> "Uh… I might've broken a bottle of N-Rapture in my pocket and tracked it all around up here— Felix, out!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a true TOW smut fic without a rapt musk incident right

She watched Max leave silently and stood for a moment to regain her wits. She was stunned by how quickly their fight had turned into something… else. Something more than it had been. Did Max often sate his rage with sex? The thought was, at the very least, concerning, but it also thrilled her. He wasn’t hard to aggravate, that was obvious… And Lenora didn’t consider herself an especially calm person, but she was sure she couldn’t match his violent passion.

_ What the fuck are we doing, _ she wondered. She and Max were performing this strange dance, skirting the line between friends and the  _ something more _ that troubled her. She wanted it  _ so fucking bad _ but barely had the time to sit and think about the implications, the repercussions. And with his hot-headed personality— him being quick to anger  _ and _ pursue sex— was that a viable relationship?

Maybe she could just fuck him, no strings attached. It was no secret amongst the crew that Len would sometimes make company with a stranger when they were docked at  _ Groundbreaker _ and she’d never had much of an issue with it. In those instances, it was easy to separate the needs of physical and emotional intimacy. And it wasn’t often that she engaged in that, but…

If they could keep a physical intimacy, a “friends with benefits” scenario, she wouldn’t have to worry about that need not being filled anymore. But what would the crew think? Especially Felix, who she’d noticed had been sweeter on her recently. He was fiercely loyal to the crew and protective of her, and she could tell when he was making eyes at her. Kind of idolatrous in a way. It felt good to know she was desirable, but that would be tricky to navigate if he could hear her across the hall every night getting railed into the bed by the Vicar.

_ Ugh, fuck, _ she inwardly groaned thinking about what it would be like to fuck Max. She absolutely wasn’t ready for that and she  _ knew _ that, but the intensity of lust when they were alone together was becoming unmanageable. It was well and good when she was by herself, safe inside her head with her contained fantasies, but it was another thing entirely to be pinned by his piercing eyes, feeling his hands brush across her skin and his breath hot on her neck… She had to steel herself to keep from marching up to his room and continuing what they started. She just… couldn’t. Not yet. And when, she didn’t know. It felt too… reckless.  _ He _ was too reckless.

And  _ Law, _ she had to be careful. Knowing that she could irritate him into kissing her was a dangerous game to play. His wild side was what drew her in, especially seeing how every fight foreshadowed something salacious. Mostly, she loved knowing her own restrained rage twisted him into submission when it jumped out of her. He seemed to crave control— especially evident in his quest for Philosophical and Scientific enlightenment— but when he indulged in chaos, he  _ indulged. _

“Boss?” a timid Felix said, poking his head into her room. His shaggy hair stuck to his forehead, still sopping wet, and he shivered.  _ Adorable. _ He seemed a bit dazed but her tight underclothes seemed to rouse his attention and he swallowed, looking her up and down.

“Shit, Felix! I’m sorry. I… got distracted.”

“What, the priest giving you a hard time again? Need me to rough him up?” Felix puffed out his chest and loured at his mention of Max.

“No need, Felix, that’s between the captain and her— wait, shit.” As she stepped towards him to offer him clothes, she sniffed something… odd. It wasn't an especially pleasant smell and she looked around for the source, wondering if SAM had missed a spot hosing Felix down. Then, she saw it.

A steady drip of clear, green-tinged liquid left a nearly invisible trail from her vest pocket, across her floor, all the way to her desk. The stain on her vest indicated that one of the bottles of raptidon musk had leaked, covering her shirt and, to her horror, the clothes she was handing to Felix— most likely on Max's as well.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she muttered, turning into a yell, "EVERYBODY OUT!"

"Boss, what's—"

"Out, out, out, we've got a chemical spill," she shouted down the stairwell, forcing Felix out of the room and hastily removing her vest and top until she was just in leggings and a cropped undershirt.

Nyoka, Ellie, and Parvati were standing near the outside door having a casual discussion and jumped at the Captain's exclamation.

"... What kind of chemical spill?" Ellie asked warily.

"Uh… I might've broken a bottle of N-Rapture in my pocket and tracked it all around up here— Felix, out!"

"Captain, what in the Architect—"

"No!!" she yelled up the stairs. "Max, stay in your room. We've got a rapt musk spill."

"For fuck's sake, Captain, that is wildly irresponsible—"

"Nope! I mean, yes, but— fuck, just get back and quarantine yourself. Throw your clothes out for SAM and cover your nose. What a fucking waste, ugh…"

Ellie, rolling her eyes at Lenora's negligence, followed Nyoka and a mortified Parvati out after a very confused, shivering Felix.

"Wait, Felix, here," Len threw one of her own coats hanging by her door down towards him, the poor kid still sopping wet.

He beamed up at her in gratitude. "Thanks, Boss!"

"You can thank me when my ship is no longer a biohazard. ADA, can we get SAM up here? Fuck," she continued with a groan. “Do not come back until I say so!”

She stormed up the stairs to use the shower but was stopped short by a strange sensation that washed over her: the musk. The musk hit so suddenly, so aggressively, she dizzied at the scent crawling up her nose.

She felt lightheaded and heavy all at once. Such a concentrated dose was bound to fuck her up and she knew she was a lightweight when it came to substances but  _ holy shit _ . Her whole pelvic area flooded with warmth and—  _ oh _ . She nearly slid her hand into her pants but stopped herself, having just enough self-control to continue down the hall to grab towels and whatever the fuck else she could use to safely decontaminate herself. After that, she couldn't  _ wait _ to get into her room and hump a pillow until she couldn't see straight.

Stumbling past Max's room, she heard a thud, a crash of objects hitting the floor, and a pained cry.

"Max! Are you okay? Fuck!" she panicked, realizing he might be having a worse reaction than her. "Can't believe I drugged my own fuckin' crew with the _ worst _ possible—"

Lenora stopped in his doorway as it slid open and gasped. His books and decor were scattered across the room, his soggy vestments in a heap at her feet. And the good Vicar sat on his desk, back arched against the wall with his chemical-stained undershirt untucked and unbuttoned at the top, the borrowed jacket off his shoulders and caught around his elbows, and his pants undone, one fist obscured but moving furiously beneath the tight fabric.

"Oh, shit, I'm—" Len staggered back slightly as Max's unfocused gaze shot up to meet hers. She saw him freeze, mouth agape and eyes wider than she'd ever witnessed. He looked absolutely  _ humiliated _ , an observation that went straight between her legs.

"Captain," he gritted, voice sounding constricted in his throat.

"Fuck, sorry, I'm— I'll let you—" she stuttered as she slid the door shut and leaned against the opposite wall, attempting to catch her breath. She _ really _ couldn't stop herself from moving one hand to her chest and the other below her waistband, forcing herself over into the neighboring room— Nyoka’s bunk, she barely registered— as soon as she heard SAM making his way up the stairs.

She made a point to slam up against the wall connecting to Max's quarters and failed to suppress the moan that escaped her as her fingers found wetness and rapidly got to work.

She pumped her hand as she kneaded her breast, rubbing a thumb over her nipple and hissing through her teeth at the sensitivity. Her head thumped back into the cool metal and she let her ragged breathing get slightly louder.

Hearing a low groan from the other side carried her close to her peak, not even trying to withhold a "Fuck…" in response.

She could hear Max—  _ Max _ — moaning deep in tandem with his own hand movements and she quickened her pace to meet his.

_ This is sex, right? _ she thought.  _ Am I losing my mutual masturbation virginity? _

Just combining "Max" and "sex" in the same thought was what did it for her. Possibly her quickest and strongest orgasm ever crested with a gasping sob, and as she strained to hear him through the wall, she felt the world slow around her. The edge of her vision rippled and every sound stretched longer, reverberating through her, echoing in her ears. She nearly teared up finally hearing his climax following hers, a strained succession of low grunts spilling from his lips that buzzed across her skin in decelerated vibrations.

She let out a shaky breath as tears did indeed start to well. She blinked rapidly to will them away, focusing on pulling her hand out of her pants and remembering how to walk as things sped up to normal again.

Exiting the room holding up her dripping fingers, she was startled to stand face to face with Max.

They didn't dare speak and just studied each other's flushed faces, an unreadable mix of emotions painting them. He stared at her hand before glancing back at her and her focus flew to his chest stripped of the musk-soaked shirt, at which they both opened their mouths to apologize or explain but no words came. She was lost in the sight of him.

He was toned and his muscles were firm, showing years of work and wear, softness around his middle from age, and tufts of salt and pepper hair that bunched between his pecs and traveled down in a trail, thickening below his navel.

She felt another wave of need crest and her expression darkened, which he mirrored and watched her carefully as she lifted her hand and, with the drug lowering her inhibitions and removing her reservations, slid her fingers into her mouth to suck them clean. He only let out a strangled moan in response, both of them looking— wildly, ashamedly, questioningly— at each other.

"What a mess!" SAM's human-like voice startled both of them into nearly jumping out of their skin.

"All done, SAM?" Lenora croaked.

"This unit has not yet completed the unscheduled cleaning. Cleaning will continue for approximately five! Minutes!" He stepped around them both and used his one clawed hand to pick up the abandoned clothes.

"Yup, thanks, SAM," she acknowledged, never breaking eye contact with Max. "We don't speak of this ever, right?"

"Yes, Captain," he affirmed, breathing heavily.

She shivered, from cold or arousal she wasn’t sure. The smell of rapt was noticeably gone, being replaced with bleach and soap.

"It had no effect on us, yeah? Just some… shitty snake oil," she posed, giving him a knowing glance.

"Of course, yes," he agreed again. "If you'll excuse me—"

"Yep, I’ll just—"

They separated, him to the shower and her to the sink where she washed her hands and splashed cool water on her face. As soon as she got control of her breathing and her redness faded, she stepped downstairs and out of the ship onto the loading bay.

"All clear," she sighed. "False alarm, guess the stuff wasn't as pure as that guy told us it was, uh… Thanks for following your idiotic captain’s orders," she added with a grimace.

"It’s fake? Aw, man," Felix started, "wait— uh, forget I said that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say except I love you, readers! I have been dying to publish this for WEEKS but patience has paid off and it is finally here. And it's only gonna get crazier!! Thank youuuuuu!!!
> 
> I keep forgetting, but if you wanna keep up with me online, my Tumblr is https://hellacopterwrites.tumblr.com/ so feel free to message me there or just watch me sh*tpost.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If we continue this, I must let you know, I— as a man of the cloth, I don’t— I can’t— erm, certain worldly pleasures are not open to me as per the vows I took when I joined the Order.” His eyes shot down again as if awaiting punishment for his statement.
> 
> Her stomach flipped, realizing their conversation was going _there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah can I get uhhhhh some light angst

The infamous Rapt Musk Incident was only joked about for a few days after leaving Roseway but was dropped shortly after arriving back on  _ Groundbreaker  _ to sell off the sensitive information they’d looked into for Gladys. Len, however, had pointedly  _ not _ forgotten.

The vicar sure had a fucking  _ rich  _ libido. The thought almost made her laugh, seeming so absurd a reality for a straight-laced, uptight holy man. He had a passionate streak in him, that was for sure. She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever, uh… Well, what other carnal pleasures was he allowed to get up to? How closely did he even adhere to those rules? He sure loved to decimate shit given the opportunity and fucked himself more often than she could have ever assumed, so maybe he fucked other people, too.

_ That _ actually forced a laugh out of Lenora. Felix and Max looked at her incredulously, startled by her random outburst.

“Sorry,” she choked out. “Just remembered something funny. We done here?”

“Just about, boss! I fixed up my tossball stick, can’t wait to try it out,” Felix answered, swinging the newly spiked weapon through the air to Max’s chagrin.

“Don’t take anyone out with that,” the older man growled.

“Lighten up, Vic,” Felix retorted with a sour expression.

Max bristled at that comment and started walking away. “Yes, Captain, we’re done here.”

They got back to the ship and Len decided to talk to Max while they all waited for Parvati to return from visiting  _ Groundbreaker _ ’s captain, Junlei. The two had been sweet on each other and communicated through messages, so Len believed it right to let the two have some face-to-face time together.

“Hey, Max,” she entered the Vicar’s room with a soft knock. “You have a minute?”

He seemed tense, nodding curtly. “Of course, Captain. I always seem to have time for you.”

Her chest squeezed at that and she slid his door closed behind her, joining him at his table like she used to. It had been a while since they’d been like this.

“I just want to check in and make sure everything is— if you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” he posited, sounding defensive.

“Come on, Max. Don’t be like that." She saw his jaw clench and brows furrow. He looked deeply annoyed.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” His eyes narrowed at her and he turned away with a scowl.

“Really?” she sighed. “If you want to be petty and take your problems out on me, you might as well get on with it.”

“What— I do  _ not _ — your accusations aren’t exactly improving my mood, Captain,” he spat.

“What soured it in the first place? If you’re gonna be a bitch about it—”

“Please,” he stopped her, “you’re  _ not _ helping.”

“Law, you’re insufferable,” she murmured and rolled her eyes. “If you’re not gonna tell me what’s going on, I can just fucking leave.”

“Then do me the honor of  _ fucking leaving.” _

She was taken aback by his sudden vitriol and hesitated, additionally surprised to find herself unwilling to leave him. Maybe she  _ wanted _ to pick a fight. “The fuck is wrong with you today? You were bitching at Felix, you’re pushing me out. Why?”

“I— erm,” he struggled for words, “well, we… agreed to never speak of the— the rapt musk incident.”

“Oh. Well, if you need to talk about it, ‘s not right of me to stop you.” She could feel her face starting to heat up as she mumbled.

He tried to stammer the beginning of an explanation but nothing came out.

“I… don’t really know what to say about it either,” she confessed, her cheeks now visibly ablaze.

“It— I’m sorry if it crossed a line in our… captain-crew relationship.” He spoke carefully, nervously.

“Um… it’s okay."

He looked surprised by her answer. “Ah. Well, then.”

“Yeah. Um… it doesn’t make anything weird for me, but if it’s weird for you—”

“Not at all, Captain. It hasn’t changed anything.”

She paused, unsure of how to interpret that. “Thanks, Max. That’s… relieving. I’m— I’m sorry I invaded your privacy. I, uh,” she chuckled, “guess we’re even now, huh?”

“I sup— wait, what?”

“You know. When you checked on me after dinner a while ago? I, uh… I’m sorry you had to hear that.” She finished her thought with an embarrassed chuckle.

“I’m—” his eyes suddenly got wide and he choked out, “I didn’t realize.”

_ What the  _ **_fuck_ ** _. _

“Oh, shit,” she breathed out. They just stared and she couldn’t gauge who was more uncomfortable. "You just seemed real— really nervous then."

"Captain, I was flustered from being mocked by Dr. Fenhill and Mr. Millstone about you— err, my… concern for you," he gritted.

"Fuckin' Felix," she shook her head. "Law, I'm embarrassed."

“I suppose I don’t need to ask anything of you to make us even now, then,” he joked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing down at his books.

“Wh—”

“I’m sorry, that was… ill-timed,” he rushed, his face as red as hers.

“You shouldn't ask to get even with me,” she watched his face briefly fall, “you can ask just to ask.”

His gaze whipped up to hers in shock. “I— Captain, are you—”

Parvati’s voice suddenly cut in, “Oh, Captain! Vicar!” She squealed at the door without opening it, respectfully. “I had such a lovely time with Junlei, I could just sing.”

“Please don’t, Ms. Holcomb,” Max huffed.

Lenora shot him an annoyed look and stood to open the door. “I’m glad we could stop by for you to see her, Parvati,” she smiled. “Now, check in with Ellie and Nyoka to see where we’re heading next.”

Parvati waltzed away on cloud nine to find the other crew women while Lenora turned back to Max.

“We can continue this now or later, if you’d like. Or not at all if you want, I don’t mind either way. Sorry,” she babbled. She stopped at his raising his hand at her.

“You need never apologize, Captain,” he affirmed. “If we continue this, I must let you know, I— as a man of the cloth, I don’t— I can’t— erm, certain worldly pleasures are not open to me as per the vows I took when I joined the Order.” His eyes shot down again as if awaiting punishment for his statement.

Her stomach flipped, realizing their conversation was going  _ there. _

“Oh. I’m— that’s okay, Max,” she stuttered again, unable to control her ability to speak at this point.

“I only mention it because I know that you’re no stranger to— to those activities.”

“I, uh, I’ve been known to seek it out occasionally, sure. It’s been a while, though.” She stiffened at the embarrassing admission.

“Ah. I see.”

“Just… haven’t had the time, I guess.”

“Or you didn’t want to?”

“A bit presumptuous of you, Vicar,” she warned him feebly.

“I'm sorry.”

“Are you?” Her eyes were narrowed at him once again, trying to ascertain what he was after.

“I… wanted to know why. But it might not be any of my business.”

She sighed. “We’ve been busy, is all. I usually go to  _ Groundbreaker _ for that. But, uh… haven’t spent much time there, you know?”

“Is there anyone in particular?”

“No,” she answered quickly. “I mean, it’s always different. People coming and going, you know how it is there.” Now it was her turn to divert her gaze and fidget nervously.

“Indeed,” he murmured, pondering the revelation.

“... But maybe I haven’t wanted to lately. Couldn’t tell you why,” she added with a nervous giggle, “guess the rapt musk incident took it out of me.”

“Captain, that was less than a week ago.”

“Yeah, well, you know I’ve been— you know that wasn’t the only time,” she crossed her arms defensively.

“I’ve never… done anything like that before,” he shared quietly, at which she froze.

“What, jacked off?” She cringed at her choice of words.  _ Why can’t you just be goddamned— err, void-damned normal for one conversation? _ But she wanted to know, since she was well aware that he  _ indulged himself _ often.

“No, no,” he suddenly laughed. “I meant mutually, with another person. I… enjoyed it.”

“Oh. I— yeah, it was… nice. Um…” she stumbled, Max looking at her expectantly. “Do you… is that something you, uh, want to do again?”

“I… I don’t know if I should,” Max admitted, voice quiet and remorseful. “I probably shouldn’t have— ahem. The things we’ve—  _ I’ve _ done aren’t very becoming of a vicar.”

“... Oh.”  _ Fuck. _

“I’m sorry, Lenora. I just— I made these vows long before—”

“Don’t apologize, Max. Your commitment is to OSI and I won’t fuck with that,” she asserted, maybe too firmly. “Maybe I misread things, I’m sorry if I— I challenged that.” She felt queasy. “Things can get confusing when you’re in close quarters and I won’t— do you mean all of it?”

“Yes,” he confirmed with a nod.

“I’ll stop, then. I’m— fuck, I’m sorry.”

He nodded curtly but she could tell he wasn’t completely satisfied with that answer. “That is honorable of you, Captain. I appreciate it. It was unfair of me to put you in such a position. You have needs that I… cannot fulfill and I apologize for leading you to believe differently.”

Lenora swore she saw a glint of sadness in his eyes.  _ Does he want me to push that boundary? _ “Are you—”

ADA boomed through the ship. “Captain, some of the crew are causing a disturbance in the cargo bay.”

“For fuck’s sake, ADA! I’ll be back,” she growled, leaving Max alone to his thoughts.

Turned out Nyoka was helping Parvati learn how to get a good headshot and apparently the activity, despite no stray bullets. concerned the AI.

“Well, well, this counts as a disturbance now?” she groaned at the ceiling and looked to a grinning Nyoka.

“Don’t mind us, Cap,” Nyoka laughed. “We’ll make a fighter out of our engineer yet.”

“Oh, I— I dunno about that,” Parvati started to protest, but Nyoka only smiled and slung an arm around her shoulders.

“While you’re here, Cap, I think you have a message waiting for you.” Nyoka pointed to the control room.

* * *

Lenora had a message from Phineas and went to see him alone. She originally hadn’t wanted any of her crew implicated in their grand scheme, but over time wanted to respect the scientist’s desire for isolation. He’d been feeding her information bit by bit as they worked to find a way to revive the  _ Hope _ colonists, and every new mission made her more confident that she would see her family again— and  _ soon. _

He’d given her a navkey to Byzantium. The capital of Halcyon and the alleged crown jewel of Terra 2, Len had only heard stories illustrating it as a beautiful, safe, rich city of culture and security. From what Phineas had told her, though, it sounded like things were not nearly as pristine as the Board wanted people to think.

He had procured them a house.  _ “By not entirely legal means,”  _ he’d told her. They were to take a navkey to the Byzantium loading docks and meet up with his city informant who would give them more details, but Welles described the basics:  _ “Covert intelligence extraction.” _

“We’re going undercover to learn the location of the chemicals Welles needs to revive people from cryostasis. Only select members of the Board have access to the location, so we’re supposed to find a way to get one of them unguarded and take what we need.” The whole crew was gathered around the kitchen table listening to Lenora’s spiel. “What do we know about Byzantium?”

“Well, this might come as a surprise, but I’m actually from Byzantium. Born and raised,” Ellie admitted, stopping everyone in their tracks.

“You? Space pirate Ellie, a Byzantian?” Nyoka asked, perplexed.

Lenora shook her head. “No fucking way.”

“It’s true,” Ellie continued unperturbed, “and all you need to know about Byzantium is that everything’s polish and bureaucracy. Take a close look, and you’ll see it’s deader than anywhere else in the colony. Don’t trust anyone, don’t touch anything, and whatever you do, don’t show your teeth when you smile. People are extremely competitive about cosmetic dentistry. It can get ugly.”

“So Byzantium isn’t the great jewel of Halcyon everyone thinks?” Felix realized with wide eyes.

“Hardly,” Ellie answered. “It’s just paste. But really, remember: there’s all these invisible rules. And everyone spends all their energy just trying not to break them.”

“Bureaucracy, fake rules, uptight. Got it,” Lenora remarked. “Phineas’s contact in the city has some kind of tickets to some event that a bunch of Board members will be at so we’ll have to go shopping.”

“Ooh!” Parvati cut in with a squeal and clap. “I’ve heard about Byzantium fashion but I never thought I’d see it up close.”

“This is a low-profile mission, Miss Holcomb, no need to be overzealous,” Max gritted, looking down quickly when he met Lenora’s glare.

“This is gonna be fun,” Len assured her excitable engineer. “Let’s go.” She stepped away from the table and quietly bid Max to follow her to her quarters.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Are we good?” she pressed.

“Yes,” he sighed, “we are. I apologize.”

“It’s okay, Max, really. I’m not mad, just… try and control yourself in the future,” she added with a grin.

“Of course,” he agreed. He sounded tense and strained, causing her grin to fall.

She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’m gonna get us set on course to Byzantium. You good to join me when we land?”

“I always have your back, Captain,” he affirmed.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Watching Max leave, she reminded herself that no, she hadn’t lied. She wasn’t mad. She wasn’t even sure if she was sad. Embarrassed, yes, but part of her was relieved. Everything with Max was  _ too much _ sometimes. Things built up over time and then broke down in an instant. The instability was…  _ he _ was a rogue variable she didn’t know how to factor in.

Maybe they weren’t as compatible as she’d previously thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW sorry for the delay!! I changed a plot point in a later chapter and realized I had to rewrite entire chunks of chapter 10 and 11 -_-
> 
> Now that rewrites are mostly done, updates will be more regular. We'll see how many chapters I come up with, I just keep writing more with no clear end in sight lol, whoops!
> 
> Thank you once again for your messages, comments, kudos, and support! I don't do this for the attention haha but I'm so grateful for the positivity and interest you've all shown!
> 
> Hit me up on Tumblr @ https://hellacopterwrites.tumblr.com/


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop doing things that make you miserable. _Please.”_
> 
> He looked at her surprised. “I— I’ll remember that, Captain.” He paused and bit his lip, then continued, “I want y—”
> 
> “Don’t. Don’t say it.”
> 
> “Just tell me if you feel the same.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brooooo why do I keep doing this to myself

Byzantium was shit.

The first thing the crew of the  _ Unreliable _ did when they landed was finding Phineas’s contact, Carmen Imagawa. She looked surprisingly young to be an information broker in a city as big and secretive as Byzantium but she was able to give Len some decent general warnings while keeping pretty tight-lipped about what exactly they were there for. She told them to go to  _ Jolicoeur’s Haberdashery _ to pick up a package—  _ “Codename Golden Eagle” _ — that would explain more.

Walking out of the loading bay into the shopping district, Len noticed that the buildings that appeared towering, glittering, and beautiful from afar had literal cracks in their facade. Walls were crumbling, sidewalks were littered with trash, and she overheard that multiple businesses had closed entirely because of sprat infestations.

“What a dump,” she muttered as she led her crew through the Estate District to find the house Phineas had procured for them.

Most of the buildings were fairly uniform, gray stone and silvery metals with shared Art Nouveau architecture.

Inside the home was nice enough, and Len looked forward to trashing it by the time they left. The floors were hardwood and plush white carpeting under light blue wallpaper that alternated in stripes of matte and gloss that shone in the light. There were several bedrooms and plenty of beds that they all immediately started claiming and she smiled to herself at the strange domesticity of it all.

The afternoon was quiet. Max read silently while everyone else played cards. They didn’t drink much— not until the mission was complete, she’d told them, and they weren’t to leave unless under express direction. But she took the Vicar and Parvati out when it was a bit darker— easier to blend in at night, she’d decided. Their destination was a haberdashery that was supposedly the fanciest in the city.

And oh,  _ Jolicoeur's  _ was fancy as  _ shit. _ That was the only description Len could put to it when they entered— marble floors lined with fine rugs, burgundy wallpaper patterned with gold, framed with solid wood paneling. Len wasn’t even sure where someone could  _ find _ such nice materials in Halcyon.

The owner greeted them as soon as they entered. Celeste Jolicoeur was a little eccentric and took almost too much of an aesthetic liking to Len for her own comfort, but she assured her they were just there to shop and no, she was not interested in modeling for her.

Parvati was in awe at the soft velvets and silks of the suits, the shiny metallic buttons, the fine stitching, none of which she’d seen before. Max seemed less impressed, but Len reminded herself that he’d lived in Byzantium during his time at OSI so none of this was especially new to him.

Out of a desire to break up the monotony of their space travel, she requested that they all try on outfits— an offer Max politely declined— and the Parvati expressed interesting in getting a suit for a date with Junlei. Len was more than enthusiastic at the prospect and she was also hoping to find something new to replace her poor waterlogged suit after Fallbrook.

Rifling through the racks and drawers, she came across a familiar blue fabric displaying the OSI symbol, stitched with gold thread and buttons. She pulled it out and held it up to herself, slipping into a dressing room to try it on for kicks.

“Damn, this doesn’t look too bad,” she called, getting her companions’ attention.

Parvati laughed and nudged Max, who suddenly looked… pale. And tense.

“What, is this too blasphemous for you? Lighten up, old man,” she teased, shaking him out of his trance.

“I’m not  _ that  _ much older than you, Captain,” he gritted and turned to walk away.

“That color sure is nice on you, Captain,” Parvati commented. She was dressed in a red jacket and slacks that brought out the color in her cheeks and the warmth of her hair and skin tone. “Don’t you think so, Mr. Vicar?”

“Quite flattering, yes.” He eyed her thoughtfully and gave a small, tight smile. He seemed like he was about to say more but bit back any further comment and turned away again, becoming enthralled by the interior decoration of the shop.

Len grinned and pulled the cassock off, slipping into a more fitting cream shirt and tie under a satin green suit jacket, and approached Max. He bristled at her slapping him on the back and groaned, “Can I help you, Captain?”

She barely stopped rolling her eyes at him before grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the dressing room.”Let’s go, Max, try something on. Live a little!”

He frowned at her and tried to protest but she ignored his attempt and pushed an outfit into his arms, closing the door in his face.

Len and Parvati giggled at his annoyance and both tried to hide their smiles as he emerged in a dark shirt layered under an olive green double-breasted vest. A black ascot puffed out of the high collar, matching the dark fabric of the slacks it was paired with.

“Ooh, that looks real sharp on you, Vicar Max,” Parvati admired. “This city has its fashion going for it, at least. Right, Captain?”

Len’s throat suddenly felt too tight, mouth too dry, to be able to speak. She’d seen plenty— maybe too much— of Max over the months, but this was the most erotic vision she’d ever been confronted with.

_ Am I dying? No, okay, can I breathe? Okay, yeah, I’m breathing. I can’t even speak, though, fuck. Fuck me. FUCK me. _

“Fuck me,” she whispered under her breath when she was finally able to get words out, unable to keep her eyes from raking over his tight, fit ensemble.

“Sorry, what’d you say?” Parvati asked as Len had spoken too low to hear.

“Uh… Let me. Buy it for you, I mean. If you want it. Looks great.” She could feel her face heating up at her stilted speech like her tongue was stuck trying to hold back much filthier thoughts that were being barely filtered at the forefront of her mind.

“Captain, you don’t have to—”

“I insist!” she said a little too loudly. “Let’s get out of here. Oh,” Len turned to Celeste as she rushed to drop their bits at the register. “I almost forgot, I think I have a package waiting here from a, uh… Golden Eagle.” She braced herself for a strange reaction but thankfully none came as Celeste graciously grabbed a lump wrapped in decorative paper from under the counter and handed it to her.

“You’re lucky,” she explained, “these are normally custom-ordered months in advance but I happened to have an extra for you. I’ll be at Bijous tomorrow night, I can’t wait to see you and your perfect contrapposto on stage!”

“Uh… yeah, okay,” Len evaded, not wanting to reveal she had  _ no fucking clue _ what that meant. “Thank you, Ms. Jolicoeur.”

“Please, call me Celeste. I hope to see you again soon!” she winked and flashed a dazzlingly coquettish smile.

They exited quickly with their spoils, the mysterious package making Len more paranoid by the minute and encouraging her to speed up her stride. As they safely returned, she noticed Nyoka, Ellie, and Felix had showered in their absence and were relaxing in front of a large fireplace in the main living area, but they quickly jumped up at the sight of their intrepid Captain.

“Never leave if you’re not wearing one of these, okay?” she instructed, handing them each a box, chuckling at their “oohs” and “ahs” and retreating to a room upstairs. Max followed her which she allowed, acknowledging him with a nod.

“Byzantium seems like your place,” she casually commented to him as she threw down the rest of her shit on the bed. “Since, you know, everyone here has a stick up their ass.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked rather defensively.

“No need to take offense, Vicar, I know you love it here,” she joked.

“Wh— that was obviously an explicit attempt to offend me,” he growled, stepping towards her.

“Come on, Max. You’re pretty blatant about your  _ respect _ for the Board. Now that we’re in Byzantium, you can finally suck the Chairman’s dick in person.”

“You know that’s not true,” his eyes narrowed, locking onto her. It sent a chill through her.

“Didn’t mean to rile you up,” she insisted, realizing he took her words more personally than she intended.

He moved even closer, like a shark towards blood, invading her space. She could see his nostrils flaring and his eyes looking at her wildly in his aggravation.

“Of course you didn’t, Captain,” he sneered. “You don’t often think of the bullshit that pours out of your mouth until someone dares to speak against you.”

“Wow, okay,” she started walking backward and raised her hands in defense, “I see I’ve struck a nerve—”

“Do you, now? So glad I could illuminate things for you.” He was crowding her against the wall.

“Max, come on,” Len protested nervously.

“You bring me to this void-damned city at  _ your _ bidding and think I find any comfort being here?”

“Sorry that you can’t take a damn joke.”

He leaned in close, his angry breath heating up her skin, and growled, “You— just—  _ fuck.”  _ He backed away from her and smoothed his vestments and ran a hand through his hair, an action she’d come to recognize as cooldown compulsions. “I apologize, Captain. I… let my frustration get the better of me. Again.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“You always look ashamed when you apologize.”

“Well, I— I don’t like it when my  _ passion _ clouds my judgment.”

“Why keep doing it, then?”

He looked stunned by her question. “I— I don’t know. Impulse, probably. It is a… lifelong habit of mine.”

“Dirty habit,” she remarked.

He smiled ruefully. “I can’t disagree.”

“Is that something you would confess about? Er— is that something vicars need to do?”

“To other chaplains, yes.”

“Would confession about this help you, Maximillian?” She almost never used his full name, but she loved how compliant it made him; not to put him down, but to bring out submission he rarely displayed.

“It has been a long time but I found it useful before,” he tensed. His remorse was perfectly clear.

She just eyed him carefully, her frustration settling into a low simmer.

“Maybe I’d like to confess again,” he breathed, stirring something in her. Something she knew she shouldn’t want.

“Okay. Tell me about the vestments,” Len pivoted to divert her thoughts.

“Oh, erm… I haven’t seen anyone else in the Order in a long time. That’s all.”

“Bullshit,” she laughed. “Come on, what is it?”

He looked uncomfortable.  _ Embarrassed, _ even.

“Are you— is this, like, a thing for you? No judgment from me.”

“Erm… the vestments, they…”

“Come  _ on. _ You know you can trust me.”

“Do I know that?” he argued.

She only grinned teasingly as a further attempt to coax some kind of admission out of him and avoid their conversation once again going  _ there. _

“I find them incredibly… handsome.”

“And…?”

“Quite a flattering color on you.”

“Flattering, huh?”

He answered with regretful silence.

“Interesting.”

“Don’t we have work to do?” he snapped at her. The venom in his voice was replaced by annoyance.

“Yeah, we do. Now get the fuck out, I’m taking a very long shower. If I drown, don’t resuscitate me.”

* * *

“Void-fucking-dammit.”

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Inside the mysterious parcel from Carmen was a note pinned to some clothes. Well, they weren’t clothes so much as a series of tight silk and elastic straps, like an aerial dancer decided to do burlesque. It came with thigh-high boots and a matching mask, all a soft shade of green that made her sickly anxious.

“Hey, Boss— whoa, what  _ is _ that?” Felix poked his head in with a confused look.

“Yeah, I don’t even fucking know.” She pulled the note off and skimmed the words— Bijous Revue, big event, blah blah blah… dancer. She was supposed to sneak into the big Board event as a  _ dancer. _ “Shit!” she exclaimed, thoroughly agitated by the predicament. “I have to fucking wear this thing!?”

“I dunno, Boss, I think that color would look good on you,” Felix offered genuinely.

“God, you’re sweet,” Len murmured. “I need— fuck. Ellie!” she shouted. “How many fucking drugs do we have?”

“A shit ton,” the doctor answered from down the hall. She appeared in the doorway beside Felix after a moment, eyes widening at the sultry contents of the package.

“I have to wear this,” Lenora groaned.

“Yeah, I’ve got plenty of stuff that can help you out. You need some uppers? Who’s the lucky individual?”

“No, fuck, it’s not like that.”

The rest of the crew had found their way to the room and Len explained the situation.

“This is the big event people keep talking about. A big corporate party HHC is throwing for Board members at Bijous. We have passes for some of us— as service workers, and one  _ performer. _ I don’t actually have to perform, but still,” she muttered, perturbed by it all.

“Put it on, Cap,” Nyoka suggested with a grin.

“Yeah, let’s see it,” Ellie agreed, elbowing an overly enthusiastic Felix.

Len rolled her eyes. “Guys, come  _ on.” _

“Don’t be embarrassed, Cap. You’re powerful now, but imagine how much more powerful you’ll be in  _ that. _ You’ll be unstoppable.”

“Fine, Nyoka, fuck.” She stepped into the closet and tried to shake her nerves. It took a minute to figure out how the thing even worked, but she eventually put it together. Two thicker straps crossed her chest in a halter with her stomach— and the underside of her breasts— fully exposed. The straps continued down her back and wrapped around her waist and attached to shorts that looked more like garters. How the  _ fuck _ was she supposed to wear this in  _ public? _

She couldn’t deny that it favored her thickly muscled thighs and abdominals, at the very least. Without another thought, she stepped out for the big reveal to the crew.

Felix’s jaw dropped. Max’s jaw tensed so hard Len thought his teeth might crack.

“Hell yeah,” Nyoka laughed and clapped slowly while Ellie whistled. “Now  _ that _ is a look. I thought we were supposed to lie low here,” she teased.

“I hoped the fuck we would,” she grumbled. “I look damn good, at least. Lemme change out of this bullshit and treat you guys to a night out.”

They got dressed up in their new Byzantium threads and went into the town. It was buzzing and busy enough that they felt like they didn’t stick out too much. They headed to some uppity restaurant and dropped their well-earned surplus of bits on dinner and wine that was, in fact, superior to the wines they’d encountered elsewhere.

The drinks flowed and eventually, Len cut her crew off, not wanting anyone to be too plastered in enemy territory. They started the walk back joking and laughing with each other, filling her with that familiar sensation of  _ belonging. _

“Captain,” Max quietly got her attention and slowed his pace to a halt.

“Yeah, we’ll catch up with you guys,” she said to everyone else and they continued without her. “What’s up?”

“I, uh…” he started, unsure in his words. He fiddled with his hands, pulling at the collar of his vest, mouth opening and immediately closing as he tried to piece together his thoughts.

She waited attentively and started to notice how striking he looked in the low light, the marquees casting shadows across his features that made him look darker, mysterious. It felt like they had stepped into another world, a fictional serial about a dashing captain and her devoted, intimidating lover.

His eyes sparkled at her and he grinned slightly noticing her intense gaze. “Sorry. Have I distracted you again, Captain?”

“You look… so good,” she muttered, trying hard to keep from leaning into him.

“As do you,” he acknowledged her in the stunning green.

“I wish things were different,” she admitted suddenly, silencing Max for a moment.

“What do you mean?” he hummed, stepping towards her slightly. It seemed he couldn’t resist being near her, either.

“I, uh… I don’t know how I can effectively do my job as captain if things aren’t squared away with members of my crew.”

“And to what are you referring?” His tone of voice told her he had an idea of what she was referencing but he still opted to play coy.

“You said you can’t fulfill my needs,” she stated, “so if other opportunities come up, I don’t want to feel like I can’t pursue them.” He looked taken aback at her honesty. “I’m not one to fuck around, Max. You and I— I’m not saying this to get you to reconsider your commitments,” she clarified, “I’m saying you can’t be upset that I’m gonna keep living my life, and you shouldn’t be pursuing this when you  _ know _ you can’t— you know.”

“Captain, I didn’t mean—”

“Cut the shit, Max.”

He looked guiltily at her, the wrinkles around his eyes looking more pronounced. It didn’t physically age him as much as it emotionally aged him, but she could see a glimpse of a lifetime of struggles inside him.

“Stop doing things that make you miserable.  _ Please.” _

He looked at her surprised. “I— I’ll remember that, Captain.” He paused and bit his lip, then continued, “I want y—”

“Don’t. Don’t say it.”

“Just tell me if you feel the same.”

“I…”

She barely registered that she’d started shivering. The familiar overwhelm of Everything That Was Max washed over her again, and the pull in her gut to just  _ tell him _ almost physically propelled her into his arms.

“I find myself wanting to be close to you, Lenora,” he broke through her thoughts. “You enchant me and I’m—” his voice broke, “I’m so sorry I can’t— that I’m me.”

“No, fuck, you’re— it’s not—” she sniffled, tears stinging her eyes, “we both have shit to work on, okay? You overwhelm me. Everything with you is so much, Max. I don’t know how to deal with it but that doesn’t make you  _ bad. _ I just can’t— and with your being a vicar and everything, I just—”

“I spent years in prison for researching heretical texts, I’m not one to follow the letter of the law,” he chuckled. “I panicked and I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m always apologizing to you, aren’t I?”

“I want— I can’t fucking reward you with affection every time we make up, Max,” she joked half-heartedly, “but I fucking  _ want  _ to. But I  _ can’t.” _

“I meant it when I said I can’t f— fuck you,” he stuttered with a blush, “but I wouldn’t say no to… other affections.”

“Seriously?”

“Call it a loophole,” he grinned sheepishly. “I’m not just saying that because I… have wanton desires. It’s… it’s become more than that.”

“We only do…  _ this _ every time we argue or get drugged, man, I don’t know what to think about that.”

“I don’t want to touch you only in the high of a fight. I… didn’t recognize the pattern until now. That dirty habit of mine has hurt more than I realized.”

“Yeah, that’s been heavy on my mind since… well, everything.”

“Fuck. I’ll tone that down.”

“Appreciate it,” she smiled sadly.

“May I kiss you?” he said lowly with that deep, dangerous voice, but it lacked the edge he usually held and felt much softer. Safer.

“I… don’t know, Max.”

He stepped back and bowed his head. “Of course, Captain. Erm… that was all I had to say. Was there anything else?”

“Nope. Let’s head back. Thank you,” she whispered, hesitantly catching his hand in hers as they walked to the house.

His fingers were long and calloused, a show of age that unfortunately drove her wild. He brushed her knuckles with his thumb and she exhaled slowly, closing her eyes to pretend that this was their reality— two people in a romantic city with no other responsibilities or ties, less baggage, and more acceptance of the lack of control in their lives.

She quickly shook off the fantasy and reminded herself that  _ this _ needed to be her acceptance of the lack of control. Things just  _ happen _ and this was her lot. She needed to be okay with that.

Arriving at the front door, she retracted her hand and turned to face him before they went inside.

“This was good, I think,” she expressed. She took a breath and stepped towards him, leaving a burning kiss on his cheek. He leaned into her touch and she recalled that night on the porch in Fallbrook.

They both slipped inside without a word and were met with the other crew members playing cards in front of the fire.

“Want me to deal you in?” Felix offered as soon as he saw them both.

Len shook her head. “I’m turning in. Have fun, you guys. You deserve it.”

She headed to the master bedroom and took her time looking around the room, peeking more perceptively into the closet and searching the dresser drawers, delighted to find a flowy satin dressing gown and matching robe left from whoever lived there before. She slipped it on and sighed at how regal and relaxed she felt— more comfortable than she’d felt in months. Maybe, once again, since Earth.

Her eyes pricked with tears remembering her mom. How she’d kept beautiful gowns passed down from her grandmother.

“Not tonight,” she whispered as a sob escaped her. She covered her mouth in an attempt to subdue it but it was no use. She curled up in the big bed, which felt especially empty by herself and she strangely missed the security of her ship— a tightly enclosed space that made her feel as safe as it was uncomfortable. She missed having someone to sleep next to; a warm body would make her feel less alone.

As if the universe read her mind, a soft knock at the door roused her and she wiped her eyes, hoping that the dim lights wouldn’t expose the redness.

“Yeah?”

Max stepped into the room wearing loose pants with that void-damned tight undershirt and apologetically started, “I don’t mean to bother you again, Captain, but I—oh, no. Are you alright?”

“Not especially,” she shuddered.

“What can I do?” he asked, cautiously approaching the bed.

“Stay with me,” she blurted, immediately shutting her mouth in shock at the request.

“Of course, Captain,” he accepted after a moment.

He slid behind her to spoon her, the most intimate position they’d ever been in. She melted into him right away and sighed when he rested his arm lightly over her hip.

“Thanks, Max,” she mumbled. “You don’t have to stay here all night.”

“The crew might be concerned if my bed was left empty so I might retire in a bit if that’s acceptable to you.”

“Of course. I know you hate getting teased.”

She felt his chest shake against her as he chuckled. “I don’t especially enjoy it.”

“Good night, Max,” she breathed, the emotional exhaustion of the day pulling her swiftly into sleep.

She woke up alone and smiled at the warmth that lingered in the empty space beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise next chapter will be better man I just keep making myself SAD!! Follow me on Tumblr @ hellacopterwrites so you can join the groups of people yelling at me in the DMs uwu


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lenora,” he breathed into her lips.
> 
> “Shh, no names. Call me ‘Captain.’” She grinned wider at his stifled moan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Gang Crashes a Board Party

“I am a valued citizen of this Law-forsaken city, I have been invited by the Chairman himself to enter this establishment and I  _ demand _ you check your list again or we will be having a more  _ difficult _ conversation,” Max snarled to a guard at the entrance of Bijous, terrifying them into nearly dropping their datapad.

“Y-yes, sir, of course. Enjoy the party,” the guard trembled, stepping aside to let him in.

Max grinned smugly to himself. “The art of intimidation,” he muttered into the earpiece he was wearing.

_ “We get it, Vic, you’re an asshole. Big whoop,”  _ Ellie’s voice bit back, her eye roll nearly audible. Her voice was slightly obscured by the helmet she wore with the guard uniforms she and Felix were sporting for the evening.

“Shut the fuck up and focus,” Len grumbled. She felt suffocated, and not in a way she especially enjoyed, by the atmosphere of her circumstance. For instance, the air in Bijous Revue was thick with a sweet-smelling haze that she couldn’t place, and the lights were so low that she could barely make out the faces of the people that passed by her.

They’d arrived intentionally late— she, Felix, and Ellie through the worker's entrance, Max through the front— missing the actual performance since an extra dancer showing up out of nowhere would’ve been suspicious. But mingling during a big party like the one she found herself in, no one would be able to tell the difference. She stepped into the main hall and fell into the crowd, adjusted her mask to ensure her face was hidden and scanned the area table by table to find anyone from the Board that looked especially vulnerable.

She immediately recognized Chairman Rockwell from the propaganda posters she’d seen in other cities on Terra 2. He was… well, fuck, she couldn’t deny he was attractive in person. She saw Adjutant Sophia Akande, looking… tall. Intimidating. Strong. Her kind of woman.

_ Focus, Len. _

A pair of green eyes caught hers from across the room. Max was leaning against a back wall just underneath a second story balcony that jutted out over the first floor looking exceptionally handsome out of his vestments and in his new suit. He nursed a tumbler of clear amber liquor and raised his eyebrows at her. Against her better judgment, she approached him.

“Excellent performance, Miss,” Max smiled from behind his drink, eyes flitting around them to stay alert.

“Glad you enjoyed the show, sir. How’s your evening?” She stood beside him and followed his glance with her own.

“Better now,” he muttered. She saw his neck bob with a drink and suddenly found herself wanting to sink her teeth into it.

“Anything interesting?”

“I see a Board lackey with loose lips and a wandering eye. Perhaps you could give him a visit.”

She noticed the man Max was pointing out, one who had that look that screamed  _ corporate sleaze. _ He was younger than her, maybe in his early-30s, and had scared off another dancer with his unwanted attention. He and his buddies all had matching seals on their coats: MAM. The Ministry of Accuracy and Morale. He also looked well on his way to being fully sloshed.  _ Bingo. _

Len strutted away from Max with a wink, relishing the blush that spread on the Vicar’s face.

* * *

It was easy enough distracting the guy. He had his ID card in his back pocket, which Len was able to snag by running her other hand up and down his thigh and whispering terribly sinful nothings to him at the same time. The chatter in her ear told her Ellie, Felix, and Max were watching nearby, Ellie incessantly teasing her about her  _ silver tongue. _

_ "You should talk like that all the time, Cap,"  _ Ellie joked.

_ "Yes, pl— uh… never mind,"  _ Felix added.

As the drinks flowed, she was able to slip away without incident. Stalking towards the back of the building, she let out a huge breath of relief.

“We did it,” she muttered, unable to hide a smile at their smooth success.

_ “Good work there, Boss,” _ Felix marveled.

“Thanks, kid. Let’s get out of here.”

Len passed through a swinging door that led through the dark dressing room. It was thankfully empty and she continued, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the bright buzzing lights of her escape route, a fluorescent back hallway that led to the exit she sought.

She became aware of a looming presence behind her, tensing as she heard someone step closer, and she swung around with fists at the ready only to come face to face with Max.

“Fuck, Max, you scared the shit out of me,” she gasped.

“My apologies, Captain. Dr. Fenhill and Mr. Millstone aren’t too far behind us.”

Suddenly, a voice in their ears crackled,

_ “Is there a problem, officer? No, I’m supposed to stay right here until—” _

It was a loud, barely panicking Felix.

Another voice barely cut through. Gruffer than Felix’s, no one Len recognized.  _ “You’re coming with us, kid. Let’s see some ID.” _

“Fuck, Felix, get out of there,” Len hissed.

_ “Gotta go!” _ she heard him say, and yelling came through the earpiece. Yelling also echoed from the door to the main hall, and Max and Lenora both froze.

She spun around and grabbed Max’s hand. “Let’s move!”

As they approached a corner, Len could hear heavy footsteps approaching.

“Guards, fuck,” Max hissed and looked around, seeing a door and testing its knob. It was unlocked and the two of them stumbled inside, locking it and closing themselves in darkness while they held their breaths.

They could hear voices outside the door and the knob began jiggling gently, then more aggressively. In a moment of panic, Max turned towards her, sliding his hand around the back of her neck and pushing her with him against a desk of some kind. She nearly yelped in surprise but saw where he was going with it and pulled him into a firm kiss.

“Trust me,” she whispered and reached for the back of her top, popping it open and releasing her breasts to the open air. He growled and she could tell he was tensely trying to hold back from touching her. “Max, touch me,” she ordered.

The kiss was urgent, and Len suspected it was for more than just the guard situation. Still, despite his hesitation, Max caved and eagerly brushed his hand up her torso, holding her breasts in his hands and wiping his thumb over her nipple while he poked his tongue into her mouth. He paused for a moment to loosen his pants and pull her hips towards his, lightly grinding against her.  _ For appearances, _ she tried to convince herself. In response, she grinned against his mouth and started unbuttoning his vest with one hand, her other alternating between gripping his jaw and tangling in his hair.

“Lenora,” he breathed into her lips.

“Shh, no names. Call me ‘Captain.’” She grinned wider at his stifled moan.

“Hng… Captain…”

The door finally burst open, though Len had become so wrapped up in the moment she almost forgot where they were. She let out an exaggerated gasp and covered her chest dramatically. Max only turned his head, hair askew, and glared.

“A little busy here,” he spat. She could see the side of his face twisted into a scowl that made her stomach ignite with—  _ nope, nope. _

“Oh, uh… apologies, sir. Back to your business—”

The door slammed shut again and they were left alone, a mess in the dark.

He eventually pulled his hands away, his scent still lingering on her skin. “Sorry, I should’ve given more warning.”

“N-no— no worries,” she stuttered, trying to compose herself, checking that her mask was still on straight. Her face burned, realizing Ellie and Felix must’ve heard their interaction. “You owe me a drink. A thousand drinks.”

“I apologize, Captain. I’ll be more forthcoming about my wicked intentions in future covert intelligence missions.”

She held back a laugh. Neither made any effort to part and she felt his fingers brushing up and down her arm soothingly.

A heavy knocking at the door startled them back to reality and Ellie yelled, "Stop fucking and get us out of here!"

Len and Max put their clothes back together and joined Ellie and Felix in the hallway. They kept moving, intently listening for more interruptions as they shuffled along.

They ended up where they’d originally entered from: a door that opened to an alley where they could escape through the maintenance tunnels that ran under the city.

Unfortunately, they were met with a small group of armed guards that blocked their way.

“Hey! Stop right there. What do you think you’re doing back here?”

“Uh… I’m a dancer,” Len answered, gesturing awkwardly towards her clothes. The others stood uncomfortably behind her.

“Well— then what are the rest of you doing with her?”

Max stepped forward, completely ignoring the question to pull a small knife out of his waistcoat and attacked, two swipes knocking some of the guards back before more came up behind them. One stabbed the Vicar in the side with a shock lance. He cried out as he fell down, twitching from the charge and bleeding through his shirt. The gash cut across his lower back along his side and up to his ribs.

Len saw red.

She grabbed a plasma cutter off the closest guard’s belt and slashed into the remaining group. One by one they fell, not quick enough with their guns and clunky armor to be able to oppose her lithe movements.

She stood in the middle of a circle of bodies covered in sizzling, seared cuts. Max looked up at her in awe, eyes scrunched in pain, and groaned, “Captain…” before falling back.

“Max, fuck,” she dropped to her knees and tore off her robe to press against his wound. He groaned again, telling her he was still conscious. “Stay with me, Max.”

Ellie and Felix slid into her narrow field of vision.

“Let’s go, Cap,” Ellie demanded, unquestioningly getting under one of Max’s arms and lifting him up. “Can you walk, Vic? Don’t worry, I’ll patch you up as soon as we’re safe.” She shot Len a reassuring look and they all hurried out the back door and down the alley, turning a corner to enter an old lift down into the maintenance tunnels.

Nyoka and Parvati jumped them as the elevator doors opened, Parvati already looking thoroughly stressed and Nyoka holding a mostly straight face beside her nervous habit of nibbling her bottom lip.

“Oh no, Vicar!” Parvati exclaimed, rushing to help carry him.

The two women had cleared out the tunnels of automechanical guards before the rest of the crew returned so all were able to make their way through unbothered by nothing more than sewer sprats.

They were able to make it back to the house unseen, the news of a commotion at Bijous not having reached the Estate District yet. They all dragged a barely conscious Max upstairs into the closest bed, Len’s assumed room and dispersed to their chambers to collapse from adrenaline and anxiety. Len also left, letting Ellie get to work on the Vicar, to wash her anxiety and blood off in a hot shower for a while.

* * *

“You’re done,” Ellie said no more than 30 minutes later, taping up a bandage along Max’s exposed back. He was sitting on the bed facing away from her as she worked, his shoulders hunched and tense.

Len quickly stepped inside with some water. She’d given up her bed to let him rest, ensuring he had plenty of space and privacy away from the small bed in the room he was sharing with Felix.

“Keep an eye on him, Captain. I’ll be back to change the bandages in a few hours,” Ellie instructed. She yawned and stretched her back, nodding to her.

“Hey, no. You look exhausted. Let me,” she insisted, taking the supplies back from the doctor and headed to the chair next to Max. “Rest.”

“I won’t argue with that. Thanks,” Ellie grinned sleepily and headed out with a wave.

Max was starting to bruise but otherwise looked okay. He started an attempt to lay down so Len placed the gauze on the bedside table and set a hand against his shoulder and arm to help him.

He settled into the pillows and let out a breath of relief. She tried hard to keep from glancing at his bare chest and instead sat down and focused on his face and hair, tapping her fingers in a silent rhythm against the chair’s velvet arms.

“You saved my life,” he croaked with closed eyes after a few minutes, startling her.

“You’re awake,” she answered in surprise.

“I owe you everything, Lenora. You were incredible. You  _ looked  _ incredible.” He reached for her arm to hold her hand.

“You’re just saying that because you’re high,” Len responded flatly, not removing her hand but not reciprocating the affection.

“I’m not,” Max stated plainly. He sat up slightly with a grunt and opened his eyes slightly to look at her. “I requested that Dr. Fenhill not give me anything for the pain. Didn’t want to lose my wits, just in case.”

His statement got her attention and she stared at him, jaw clenched, arm unmoving as he gripped her fingers tighter.

“Thank you,” he rasped again as he lay back down. She sat with him for a while longer, falling asleep holding their hands like that until she woke up again some hours later in the night.

“Max, hey. Get up.”

He groaned but dragged himself to lean up against the headboard anyway, turning away from her. Her hands ghosted over his skin for a second before she started pulling the blood-soaked gauze off to replace it.

“You’re very good at this,” he commented, shivering against her touch. “Law… I quite enjoy it when you touch me.”

“Careful, I might not believe you when you say you’re sober,” she chuckled nervously.

“Sorry.”

“... I like touching you too.”

“Hmm.”

There was a beat of silence before she spoke again. “So… what ‘other affection’ are you okay with?” she asked quietly. She felt him stiffen for a moment.

“I miss kissing you,” he admitted. “I… wanted to. Not just because of the guards.” He took a deep breath. “And again when you were standing over me with a fucking sword. Breathtaking. But,” he quickly added, “there were more pressing matters.”

“Yeah… yeah. That’s… good,” she responded weakly.

They were silent again for a bit as she dabbed rubbing alcohol on his cut and dried it off. He shivered again as her fingers brushed against his bare skin and she blushed at his reaction.

“You still owe me a thousand drinks for that stunt you pulled. Scandalous for a man of the cloth.”

She smoothed some gauze and taped it, sealing off the wound. He chuckled at her comment but gave no response other than his breath picking up slightly. She froze for a second, conflicted about whether she should act on her impulse or not.

_ Fuck it. _

She leaned down and trailed slow, light kisses along his shoulders, his back, to the side of his ribs. He gasped quietly at the contact.

“Lenora,” he said desperately, questioningly.

“Max,” she mumbled back and crawled onto the bed to face him. She felt that soft longing return. She craved intimacy. Her heart ached for him and she cupped his jaw to steady him, then  _ really  _ kissed him.

It started slowly as she was unsure how wounded he was but quickly became rougher as he gripped her shoulder and pulled her closer.

“Mmm, fuck,” he growled and tried to slide her onto his lap, but grunted in pain at the movement. She rested her hands on his arms to slow him and moved gently to straddle him. She couldn’t help but jump with excitement, reminded of their first encounter in his bunk.

His low groans made her heart race and in her boldness found that she was unafraid to grind into him now.

“This doesn’t hurt you, does it?”

“Not emotionally,” he joked, wincing. “I find it emotionally exquisite.”

“Alright, Vicar,” she sighed, kneeling to get off of him. “No need to play tough guy. You need sleep, and I have some meds— come on, they won’t fuck you up. They’ll help you heal faster, asshole.”

He frowned at her petulantly but softened at her worry, despite the flippant insult. “Fine, if you insist.”

“I’m not a doctor but I know what feels good,” she grinned and pulled two syringes and a pillbox out of her bag near the bed. “Take these and sleep.” She walked to close the bedroom door, turning to him and watched as he leaned against the headboard and injected the syringes and swallowed a pill.

“No one will bother you tonight, Vicar.”

“And you?”

“I was going to leave you be. Unless, you know, you need help since you’re old as sh—”

“I don’t need you to help me, Captain,” he chuckled. “But I would very much like you to stay.” His green eyes flickered in the room’s lamplight. They were filled with a hopeful desire and… loneliness. 

Her heart melted at his voice and she simply nodded, reaching the end of the bed and climbing over him as he did to her the previous night. Given their height similarity, she was easily able to curl around him from behind.

His breathing slowed until he was out and, once she was sure he was safely at rest, she was also able to drift off, dreaming of stolen kisses and costume parties, loud music and faceless strangers surrounding her, sharp green eyes coaxing her deeper and deeper into darkness.

* * *

She woke in the morning feeling a warm body against her chest, gut swirling at the feeling of Max’s perfect ass pressed into her hips.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, voice croaky and hoarse after a heavy sleep. Her heart fluttered at the sound, a secret intimacy just for her.

“Hi,” she said feebly, once again made nervous by their closeness.

“We should get up,” he grunted and sat up.

“Shower and I can change your bandages, yeah? How’s it feel?”

“Sore, but much better.”

“Great. I’m gonna go eat, I’ll… meet you down there.”

Len sped out of the room to avoid seeing Max in any further state of undress and rushed down the stairs, feeling starved after the previous night. She met a kitchen of grinning, knowing faces.

“The fuck is up with you? Nice job getting caught last night, by the way,” she ignored them and grabbed a piece of weird fruit off the counter as she searched the cabinets for something more normal.

“Ellie said she went to check on you and Max this morning and the door was locked,” Nyoka grinned.

“Wh— guys, come on. I’m not gonna fuck anyone when we’re in Board territory. Especially not the fucking  _ priest,” _ Len grunted, her words coming out with an edge of angry sarcasm.

“Uh-huh,” Ellie said, rolling her eyes. “I hope his wound didn’t tear, I’m not patching it back up.”

Everyone groaned.

“Fuck you guys too,” Len grumbled and gave up on food, heading back upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Len: ugh Max stop sucking ur such an ass ugh ur so annoying  
> Anyone: *hurts Max*  
> Len: *goes apeshit*
> 
> Another update coming vvvery soon, yall aren't ready for this @.@


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This isn't confession if we’re just sharing our fantasies, Vicar.”
> 
> "Then let's not confess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ain't an Outer Worlds fic without a horny confession scene.......
> 
> Soft TWs for this chapter (I should've been doing this the whole time I'm sorry!!):
> 
> \- Religious guilt  
> \- Smut to get us back to that E rating  
> \- Unhealthy consensual sexual coping (whew!)  
> \- Max hurts people with his bad choices once again

Max emerged from the shower as Len returned to the room and she was surprised to see him wearing only his undershirt with the blue pants that matched his vestments.

“Not playing vicar today?”

“As always, my choice of clothing doesn’t dictate any change in my convictions, Captain. I am perfectly able to judge, give confession, and perform animal sacrifice out of uniform,” he disclosed with a smirk.

“Good one.” She lingered by the door nervously. “I always forget you do confessions.”

“Of course. That is one of many things I can offer freely to your crew.”

“Hm.”

“What’s on your mind?” He rested a hand next to him on the bed, offering her a seat. She complied but made a point to lean slightly away from him.

“Am I doing the right thing?” she blurted out, sucking in a breath in anticipation for his answer.

“To what are you referring?”

“Just… all of this. With Phineas. I trust that  _ he _ thinks he’s doing the right thing, but I… I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing for… for the right reasons.”

“You have noble goals, Captain. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that, and I am sure everyone else on your ship feels the same.”

“So many people are going to get hurt—”

“So many have already been hurt by people who aren’t you, Lenora. The difference is that you have cared for their plight when no one else has.”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“I  _ know. _ And whatever else you decide to do, you have my full support.”

Her chest tightened. “Thanks, Vicar.” She paused to take a breath and her eyes flicked back to his nervously. “Do you think… um… nevermind.”

“You can trust me, Captain,” he said so sweetly with a warm smile. Who was she to deny him?

“Just… we kissed again. Are you— are we good?”

“Yes,” he chuckled, “we are.”

“Okay. That’s… good.”

“There’s more you want to say. This is a confession, I can listen free of judgment.”

“I— I want you.” She bit her tongue, face heating up with immediate regret.

“O-oh. Well.”

“Fuck.  _ Well.” _ She couldn’t mask the annoyance rising in her voice.

“What would you have, if you could have me?”

“That’s mean, Max,” she huffed, turning her eyes away from his prying gaze

“This seems to be weighing heavy in your mind.”

“This isn't confession if we’re just sharing our fantasies, Vicar.”

"Then let's not confess."

She looked up at him, her inner conflict waging on. “You really want to know?”

“If you’re open to sharing, I’m here to listen.” The corner of his mouth turned up in the slightest grin.

“Uh… are you  _ baiting _ me?” she accused with cocked eyebrows.

“No,” he lied, answering too quickly and looking down in shame.

“Fuck, Max. Fuck.” She bit her lip and breathed out hard while she considered his spoken and unspoken request. “I don’t… fuck. I want to touch you. I want to kiss you until you can’t breathe, mark up your neck, take you until you’re completely spent. I want to feel your cock in my hands, down my throat, inside me, wherever. I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk. I want  _ you. _ That enough for you, Vicar?” she spat.

“Ah, is that all?” he joked feebly. She could tell he was stunned by her blunt admission.

“I fuck myself thinking of you.”

His cheeks flushed an even deeper red and he gawked at her. She just laughed softly.

“Hey, you wanted to know,” she reminded him with a spiteful grin. “I like making you speechless.”

“You’ve proven very good at it,” he huffed. “I think of you, too.”

“Oh." Her eyes widened in realization. “That’s… very flattering,” she responded.

“It is?”

“It’s nice to be reciprocated,” she breathed.

“What do you think about?”

“Oh. Um… that you’re doing the things I’m doing to myself. That— that my hands are your hands.”

“Ah.”

“You?”

“The same.”

“Maybe this is a confession,” she shrugged with a grin.

He nodded with a shy chuckle. “I suppose it is, isn’t it?”

There was a soft knock at the door and Len jumped off the bed while Max laid down, acting nonchalant as it opened.

“Hey, Cap,” Nyoka grinned, looking between the two of them with interest.

“Was just checking on the Vicar here,” she prompted, “what’s up?”

“Well, we survived last night so we’re going into the city for drinks. We’ll be careful, I promise,” she assured Len. “You want to join us?”

“The guards would probably recognize us,” Len sighed, “but if anything goes south—”

“I know, Cap. See you later.”

Len and Max stayed in their positions for a moment while they listened intently for the front door to close.

“Confession… we talked about that before,” Max eventually said, breaking the silence.

“You said you wanted to do that, yeah. What… what for?”

“To put it plainly, I wish to keep the flame of desire from licking at the heels of my convictions. I have worked so hard to get to this point… I know I’m right,” he claimed, “and I can’t let anything else get in the way of that.”

Len rolled her eyes. “That’s not putting anything plainly, Max. The ‘flame of desire’ can’t possibly be that threatening to you,” she scoffed.

He looked hard at her and said nothing for a moment before replying, “It threatens to absolutely consume me, Captain.”

She was speechless, filled with a pull of dark pleasure. The seconds stretched on  _ too _ long, tensely, until Len’s thoughts were consumed by an idea. A wicked, possibly cruel, but delicious idea. She stayed rooted to the spot and held her tongue.

“There’s no way we could go to OSI now,” he continued. “Though you did buy those vestments, didn’t you?” He chuckled more to himself than to her, “You might as well assume the role.”

She tensed at the insinuation and could hardly hold back from glaring at him. “You can’t be serious.”

“What?” he asked incredulously, genuinely seeming confused at her offense.

“You’re so hot and cold about this whole thing and you want to play out some fucking religious kink with me? There’s no way you come out of that with no regrets. Fuck that. Are you  _ that  _ incapable of controlling yourself?”

“I know exactly what I want,” Max growled, standing up suddenly and storming over to her.

“Not if you’re going to throw your shame on me. I can’t fucking deal with that, dammit! We’re too old for this.”

“I—” He visibly weakened and she almost felt bad for him until he fell to his knees and looked up at her. “I yield to your judgment.”

“Fuck you.” She stepped away with clenched fists to keep from punching him. “I need to— I can’t.” She slipped into the closet to take a moment to herself, her anger blinding her common sense.

After a minute, she returned with an attempted air of self-importance, doing her best to mimic Max’s signature stiff posture… wearing the OSI vestments she’d bought just a few nights before.

“Maximillian,” she prompted his attention which he swiftly gave her, eye-balling her intensely as he stood from his kneeling position.

“Lenora?” he exclaimed, surprised and confused by her appearance.

“That’s Vicar Zander to you,” she chided, sauntering to him. She gave his shoulder a firm push down and he yielded, sliding back to his knees. She stood above him, giving him a disapproving stare. “You have disappointed me  _ greatly, _ Maximillian.”

He swallowed thickly, looking up at her apprehensively. “I’m sorry, Vicar.”

“Would you like to confess?” she asked.

“Y-yes.”

“Then confess,” she demanded, reaching down to tilt his chin up, keeping their eyes locked.

“Oh…” he said, surprised. She nodded, imploring him to continue. “I— I’ve let my passions and proclivity for violence direct my actions. I have no self-control,” he divulged, “and I dream of breaking my vows to indulge in… carnal pleasures.”

“Shameful, Max,” she had difficulty holding her frown seeing him shiver at her berating him. “Your sins are greater than I thought, it seems,” she continued. “Tell me exactly what stirs your violent desires.”

“I… I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Then what of these carnal pleasures?”

“You want me to—”

“Be as detailed as possible, Maximillian,” she imparted, biting her lip to hide a smirk at his obedient head tilt.

“It's… it’s my captain, I— I’ve found myself desiring to break my vows with her,” he expressed. “I…  _ crave _ the thought of breaking my vows with her.” His eyes were dark and heated. She gulped. “I often think of what her lips would feel like—” he stopped himself, suddenly chagrined.

“What about her lips, Maximillian?”

“Around m-my cock,” he stuttered. “Remembering what her breasts felt like in my hands. How she would… taste, wetting her on my tongue. I yearn to— to lie with her, more explicitly than she realizes.”

“Very good, Max,” Lenora murmured, sliding her hand down to his throat. “Do you imagine her choking you?”

“All the time,” he sputtered, relaxing his expression under her grip.

She knew just where to press, squeezing the sides of his neck with her fingers to cut off blood flow with only the lightest pressure high on his windpipe. His eyes rolled back at the sensation.

“Do you imagine fucking her while you choke?”

“I finish while I choke myself thinking of her,” he gasped.

“Would you like to show me your sin?” she sneered, urging him to stand and fall back onto the bed. She leaned over him with one knee between his legs.

He complied with only an exhale and quickly undid his pants, sliding his hand to grip himself— already hard from what she could tell— and began pumping slowly.

“The longer you take, the less conscious you will be,” she enunciated each word to him slowly and firmly, urging him to jerk faster, which he did. “Can I… see you?" she requested shakily, unable to hide the begging in her voice as she undid the buttons on his shirt to expose his upper body.

Max slid his pants down around his thighs— thighs that were incredibly thick and muscled, probably from years of tossball— and held himself straight up for her to see.

Her jaw dropped at the sight. She'd seen plenty of cocks before, but this was  _ his _ cock, and he was hard for  _ her, _ and she was  _ choking _ him while he stroked himself. He sped up his pace as she stared, enthralled by the sight of him half-naked and panting under her.  _ Law, _ she was wet enough to ride him right there— but she dared not cross another line and touch him. She was giving him the torture he asked for.

His long fingers loosened and then tightened again, wrapped around the long shaft, gathering rapidly dripping precum.

She was mesmerized by his movements. His unoccupied hand gripped the sheets with such ferocity she wondered if he would rip them and he continued his self-pleasure with the other. He moved at a middling pace, seeming to savor the sensation without torturing himself with too long a session. He dropped to the base of his shaft to give himself several short, strong tugs before sliding more gently up and down the entire length. He made a point to squeeze the head and gasped, eyes shooting open for a moment before he fell back into mindlessness with a flutter of eyelids and attempted an inhale that was nothing more than a faint rasp.

She could feel him start to tense under her, his hips pushing up in small thrusts, and she leaned over him to see his face. His jaw was set, teeth bared, and his eyes were forced shut, completely lost in the sensation. He only roused when she said,

"Come for your Vicar, Max."

He thrust into the air one last time and let out a strained moan. She could feel his whole body release the tension he was holding as he stroked furiously through his climax. His come spilled over his fingers and down his cock and every burst pulled another wheezing breath out of him until he fell back, completely spent.

She released his neck and sat back on her heels in silence, unsure of what to do with herself after such a powerful display.

"Lenora," he gasped, breaking her from her thoughts, "you  _ ruin _ me." She could see that his eyes were watering.

"Shh, shh." She crawled up to sit and cradle his head in her lap, running her hands through his hair, and whispered, "You did so good, Max. That was incredible. Thank you. You're so beautiful." She continued the quiet ministrations until he'd caught his breath enough to sit up.

"They might be coming back soon," he said softly with closed eyes but didn't make any effort to stand.

"Let me help you," she offered and stepped towards the door, seeing that he was shaking.

She returned with a wet cloth and started reaching to clean him off but his hand shot out to catch her wrist. “No, d-don’t… don’t touch me. Please.”

She was startled but turned away to let him wipe his stomach and softening cock, then each of his fingers.

"I— thank you," he eventually said. "That was… I don't— I'm not— ahem. I— I don’t know what to say."

“I—” She stopped herself from asking him if they’d gone too far, making a mental note to ask him when he was less… vulnerable. “You don’t have to say anything.”

He was shaking as he got up, pulling his shirt with him to cover his nakedness— seemingly out of self-consciousness— and walked into the bathroom. The temptation to strip and join him when she heard the shower turn on was strong, her body and mind wound up and taut with arousal, but she resisted and instead poked her head in to see him sitting, soaking on the tile.

It was another small intimacy she felt almost guilty for sharing with him. He looked spent, indeed, as if it had been so long since he’d been afforded an interaction so pleasurable. It probably had been a while.

“Need anything?” she pressed softly, the mood in the room changed to something she couldn’t quite discern. It wasn’t entirely comfortable.

“No. Please… leave me.” His voice sounded hoarse and regretful.

She ignored the slight sickness that hit her.

He was able to walk by the time the shower was over and helped himself to bed, still half-naked.

“I, uh… I should go,” Len gestured to the door.

“Erm… whatever suits you, Captain,” he told her, sensing her hesitation.

“Probably shouldn’t stay,” was all she got out before stepping towards the door, gripping the door frame and pausing to turn back. ”That was too much, wasn’t it?”

“I… I’m going to need a proper confession after that,” he quipped, though there was little joy in his voice.

“Fuck,” she whispered and left without another word.

* * *

Completing the mission for Phineas went off without a hitch. She took Nyoka and Parvati with her into the Ministry, letting the rest of the crew take a night off after their good— if not messy— work at Bijous. She would’ve brought Max had he not been injured, but after their most recent interaction, she could hardly stand being in the same room as him. She felt a burn of frustration and  _ shame _ and pushed all that angry energy into the task at hand.

She forgot all else momentarily as they reached their destination in the deepest part of the lab to find a dozen or so scientists in cryostasis. If she took the chemicals she needed to revive the  _ Hope _ — her  _ family _ — the scientists would die.

She collected all of what she needed and left trying to forget the sounds of drowning screams that echoed behind her.

No one was especially sad to leave Byzantium and they were silent as they returned to the ship, an array of sad and somber thoughts weighing them down. Len drank enough that night in orbit above Terra 2 to ensure she wouldn’t wake up for a  _ long _ time.

* * *

Len left and returned from Phineas’s lab alone, seeming in a bit better mood than before. He gave her some encouraging words about her actions that eased some of the pain from the previous week.

“Hey, Captain,” Nyoka grabbed her attention with quirked lips as she re-entered the ship. “We’re thinking of heading to Scylla next. Got a few things we can do there. Get Max’s book translated for real this time. Ever been to an asteroid colony before?”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Len answered, smiling softly. She plopped into the chair in the control room to give ADA the navkey and yelled, “We’re going to Scylla!" up the stairs. Max’s face soon appeared leaning over the railing.

“Really? To— for the book, you mean?”

“Among other things, yeah. Let’s get our French on— oh, fuck, uh— I mean—”

The rest of the crew stood awkwardly in the control room doorway as she said that, looking between her and Max quizzically.

“That’s… not what I meant,” she grumbled, turning back to the ship controls.

“The Captain has requested that the crew keep the mocking to a minimum,” ADA told everyone else. “Preparing for the flight to Scylla now.”

Len spun around and passed the crew as she headed to her room. “Max,” she called, imploring him to follow.

She stepped into the Captain’s quarters and offered him her desk chair then sat on her bed to face him.

“Vicar, I… I have a question,” she said quietly. Her voice unintentionally sounded a little too dusky and she cleared her throat.

“I am at your disposal,” he responded with a small, tight smile.

“Something I’ve been meaning to ask for a while. After we find your real translator, are you… planning on sticking around?”

He seemed to not anticipate her inquiry and looked at her nonplussed. “I have no plans to leave our crew if you’ll still have me.”

“I’ll have you,” she answered quickly.

He cleared his throat and blankly responded, “Wonderful.”

“Yeah… anyway. I could’ve used your 'violent enthusiasm' in Byzantium. Things went fine, just… would’ve been nice to have an angry vicar tearing the lab up.”

His eyebrows raised but his face told her nothing else. "I would say your crew could have helped you stoke that, but I find myself repelled by the thought of you inviting them to berate me." The normal, uptight Max was back.  _ A good sign? _

“I promise I won’t. Um… about what happened the other day. I’m sorry if we… crossed a line. You seemed, uh, upset.”

“Ah.” He looked around the room at everything but her.

“You can’t… keep fucking doing this.” She was embarrassed at the quiver in her voice.  _ Grown-ass women don’t cry about shit like this. _

“I... I know—”

“Then  _ stop fucking doing it. _ I’m done with this, okay? Figure your shit out. I’m still your captain, but I’m done fucking around with you. I’ve got more important things to worry about than your church guilt.”

He nodded tersely, saying nothing.

“I’ll let you know when we get close. To Scylla,” she added hastily, politely inviting him to leave.

“Of course, Captain.” He exited without another word.

She pulled out a second bottle of liquor, intent on emptying it alone before they reached their destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What does Max even want?? He has no idea!!
> 
> I am... DYING to hear everyone's thoughts on this. I have been stewing over this chapter for actual months and I don't even know what to think about it cuz I've been looking at it for so long so I'm just POSTING IT!!
> 
> Thank you so much for keeping up with my shenanigans, for your comments, for everything! We passed 2200 hits this week and I'm so grateful for your enthusiasm and readership and still genuinely shook we've made it this far!!
> 
> Harass my DMs on Tumblr @ hellacopterwrites


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you remember?” he asked nervously.
> 
> “Uh… couldn’t tell you, really. Just flashes of things. A lot of smoke. Nyoka vomited, maybe? And… and…”
> 
> “And?”
> 
> “I don’t know,” she groaned. “Hope I didn’t do anything too embarrassing. I feel so fucking old.”
> 
> “Yes, Captain… we were very high.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Drug use  
> \- Consensual sexual contact under the influence  
> \- Religious loophole  
> \- Brief alcohol use to numb the pain  
> \- Sexually suggestive conversation
> 
> buckle up B-)

In the haze of a state between sleep and lucidity, Lenora could feel more than see her thoughts and memories. Moments floated around her like pieces of a broken mirror.

She could sense Max—a mental fabrication of him, at least—prowling around her mind, desperate for  _ something _ . He wasn't intent on preying on her, no… he seemed  _ lost. _

He stalked the edges of her periphery and she could hear his thoughts, he was thinking so loud.

_ I'm so close to getting what I've been looking for, _ his thoughts said.

_ Do you even know what you want? _ she asked back, more pity in her tone than she intended.

_ Of course I do. How could I go my entire life seeking this and somehow be mistaken? _

She didn't respond and continued to feel his energy. He was volatile, completely out of control just underneath a deceptively calm surface.  _ He doesn't know what he's looking for. _ His regret washed over her; for what, she couldn't be sure. She was gripped by the tension in his body that kept everything in, that held his explosive emotions in place.

She shivered at the echo of his voice yelling  _ I'll take your confession now _ accompanied by the sound of gunfire. Being in the heat of battle seemed to help curb his inner turmoil; maybe she should take him out on more violent missions, just to help.

_ I don't want helping you to be my job, _ she quietly admitted, a pang of sadness hitting her.

_ It shouldn't be, _ his visage bit back in an unsuccessful attempt at neutrality. Imaginary Max was hurt by that.

_ I’m not abandoning you, _ she stated. His angry energy wavered slightly, defeat filling in the cracks.

_ Thank you, my dear, _ he whispered suddenly in her ear, breath cool against her neck. The chill rippled across her skin and she froze for a moment, coming back to the world and an empty, dark room. She was alone but  _ my dear  _ boomed in her head, from wall to wall, bringing tears to her eyes. Such a cruel trick for her brain to play, she thought, and briskly brushed the sudden longing away, physically manifesting the dismissal with a roll of her shoulders and shake of her hands. Collapsing back into bed, sleep didn’t come easy but she was too tired to find another bottle of Spectrum vodka to speed up the process.

* * *

The shaking of the ship arriving above Scylla woke Lenora, ADA's voice too sharp in her ears announcing their landing. Her headache wasn't anything some caffenoids couldn't fix— maybe Nyoka had some left over— so she stumbled out of bed to take care of that.

She hadn't been this hungover in a long time, but it was a pretty mild case relative to the party lifestyle she encountered on Earth. She chased the blurred mental pictures away in the steam of the hot water and focused on releasing the muscle tension in her back and shoulders, stretching her neck and massaging her scalp. The feelings were so pleasant that she figured it was worth taking a few extra moments alone to release some of the pent-up sexual energy that Max—a Vicar, fucking rich—had left her with. She didn’t even bother stopping her mind from wandering to the image of Max shuddering underneath her with his hand wrapped around his cock and hers around his throat. She petulantly relished the thought of using his poor behavior for her own pleasure.

Returning to reality, Len said, "Nyoka, you're with us. That cool with you, Max?"

He barely looked up from his notes at the communal table as he nodded with a noise of approval.

"You got any caffenoids?" she then asked Nyoka, a little quieter under the chatter of the crew.

"I got you, Cap." She led her to her bunk and pulled two pills out of a bottle she kept by her bed. "You okay?" Nyoka asked casually, trying to keep her voice light.

Len smiled weakly. “Not really, but I will be. ‘This too shall pass,’ my dad would say. Just a lot on my mind.”

“A lot on your shoulders, too. We all see that. Let us help you.” She looked at her, wide-eyed and earnest, as if the harder stare would convey her message better.

It worked.

“You’re right. Yeah. I probably shouldn’t drink anymore but do you wanna, uh… we can…”

“Got plenty of Rizzo’s in the fridge and time to talk. C’mon,” Nyoka offered with a smile.

They pulled out sodas and got the whole crew together—even Max—to enjoy a moment of freedom away from the Board, from Byzantium, from thoughts of the  _ Hope _ . Lenora felt warm again, remembering that this crew was her  _ family. _

After a few relaxed hours, they were ready.

* * *

Max and Lenora found themselves in a smoky room with Nyoka huffing something that smelled like spiced fruit, herbs, and skunk. Her head spun and her companions seemed to multiply as they moved, infinite copies of themselves wandering around the space.

She spread her hands out on the carpet below, thick and coarse fibers pleasantly scratching her calloused palms, and leaned back into the pile of pillows she’d settled into. The room was lit only by candles, casting strange shadows on the walls as Max paced back and forth.

She hazily watched Nyoka stumble out of the room away from the smoke, muttering something about not wanting to vomit on the nice rug.

Len was sitting, her swaying barely keeping her upright, as Max circled walked around her looking perplexed and frazzled. He  _ had _ just had some kind of… vision… conversation with his dead mother and a projection of himself, so she couldn’t blame him. She could barely piece together what was happening moment to moment in the small space.

"Max… Max, no, come here— sit down, come on," she ordered, grabbing his vestments to pull him down.

He looked down at her surprised, as if he'd forgotten she was there at all, and collapsed beside her.

"What's… what's up?" she asked him. She felt out of breath, like she'd been running. The drugs were making her heart pound with energy but she also felt sluggish and heavy.

"I don't know… I can't… can't think, don't know how to say—"

"Shh, shh. Shut up. I can't think. Use small words."

"I feel… good."

"Hell yeah!" Len shouted then lowered her voice, making herself aware of how loud she was being. "I'm glad it was worth it."

"Yes, I think it was." Max was leaning into her space and studying her intently. He lifted his hand and traced her features, the tips of his fingers ghosting over her cheeks and brow; the pad of his thumb dragged down her nose and lips, pulling the bottom one enough to expose her teeth.

"Max… what are you doing?" she asked lazily, eyes still closed. He didn't pause his movement.

"Your face is more— normaler— back to normal," Max said thickly as he stared, her face having appeared contorted to him not long before.

Len closed her eyes. "Your voice still sounds kind of weird."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?" He gripped her chin and stared hard at her, his pupils blown wide. "I'm not sure what's real, but you— you're real, right?"

"Yeah, pretty sure," she slurred. Fuck, she felt off. She had enough mental clarity to  _ feel _ in control, but her body moved in slow motion, barely catching up with her brain. Testing her functionality, she willed her arms to move up and cup Max's face, squishing his cheeks inward. She slumped forward involuntarily, barely registering their closeness until their noses bumped.

"Ah, fuck, sorry," she groaned but didn't make any effort to move as she suddenly found herself enjoying the shared space.

"Mmm. Captain," Max muttered in that low, cautioning voice.

“You’re too close,” she warned, though his proximity filled her with butterflies more intensely than ever before.  _ Must be the drugs. _

"What?" he asked, still engrossed in the curves of her facial features.

"Oh."  _ I must be thinking out loud. _ "Um. I feel weird. From the drugs. Like I'm swimming."  _ This feels nice, though. _

"It does feel nice, hmm."

_ Max is so pretty. _

"You’re pretty, too," Max chuckled, resting his forehead against hers, hand falling beneath her chin to tilt it up and press a soft kiss to her nose.

The sensation was  _ shocking. _ It was as if waves of warmth crashed through her, originating from that spot at the tip of her nose. She gasped and tipped back, accidentally pulling Max with her, and they hit the floor together.

"Do that again," she requested, still firmly cradling Max's face.

He complied, nuzzling lazily against her cheek before planting a kiss there, dragging across her face until he was hovering just above her mouth. She nodded slowly and he fell in to meet her, the heat of his tongue shooting bursts of pleasure through her entire body.

_ "Fuck,"  _ she couldn't help but let out a long groan and greedily pressed against him for more.

It was like they were floating, their movements confusing and sluggish, but the sensitivity was mind-blowing and she thought she felt an orgasm building.  _ He isn’t even touching me. _ At that thought, she tangled her legs with his and humped his thigh, gasping into his mouth with every thrust.

"Are you  _ feeling _ this!?" she exclaimed, the sweat that prickled across her forehead starting to drip.

"Yes, I…  _ fuck, _ I'm feeling this," he let out a throaty moan and started rubbing his hips back against her.

She couldn't discern how hard he was through his clothes but his insistent affection made her mouth water and she let a hand wander down, groping him through his pants. He hissed at the contact, panting loudly and twitching in tandem with her strokes.

"Fuck, Max, you're _ big." _

"It's been a while since I’ve heard that," he gasped, bucking into her hand.

"How long?"

"Years, I don't know. It's been so long I hardly remember what—FUCK—what it feels like."

"Max, I can't—I want to fuck you," she begged, hips moving faster.

"I—I can't, I'm sorry, I'm—fuck, I'm close—"

"I'm gonna make a vicar come in my hand, is that even allowed or—"

"It—loophole— _ please—" _

"Come for me, Max, please, fuck—"

With that, his hips stuttered and she could feel his cock twitching as he let out a rough yelp followed by deep whimpers, riding out the climax into the heel of her palm.

"Architect, fuck, I'm—" he gasped, grabbing her hips suddenly to press them into his leg. "Fuck. Now you."

Lenora let out a series of gasps, acutely aware of how empty her body felt without any penetration, but the climax was  _ exquisite.  _ "Fuck, Max, I love you—" she choked out before moaning into his shoulder and biting his neck to taste him as it tapered off.

She thought she could feel him staring at her in surprise, and maybe he was talking, but she was overcome with exhaustion or delirium and rolled onto her back before darkness completely enveloped her.

* * *

Len woke up groggy and disoriented, unsure of where or  _ when _ she was. She made no immediate effort to move, finding herself very comfortable on whatever surface her body had ended up on after the most exhausting drug trip she'd ever had. Slowly her senses came back to her and she became aware of another warm body next to her. A slow breath on her hair. A heavy arm draped over her side. A chest against her shoulder.

She tried to move forward gently as to not disturb the other person, but her limbs were like lead and her head spun so she merely fell back, startling both of them.

"Wh— Captain…?" a gruff male voice croaked. 

_ "Max?" _ Lenora made the extra effort to roll over and face him. "How did we—where—what happened?"

"You passed out, I think. And I guess I just did as well. Sorry," he apologized and scooted back to give her space. She realized they were in her quarters, he had been leaning against her— _ in bed with her— _ while sitting in the desk chair beside her. He was wearing a shirt with suspenders tucked into pants that she’d picked up on  _ Groundbreaker. _ He looked so good it was dizzying, so she closed her eyes to stop the world spinning.

"I'm fine, did we—did I—ugh, my head…"

"Side effect of the drugs. You were out for a while, I was—erm, Dr. Fenhill and I have been looking after you."

"Oh." 

It was starting to come back to her. Len was so wobbly that Max had to drag her with one arm around her back to the ship. She had reminded him that she was a lightweight as he deposited her into her bed and she almost immediately passed out, barely registering a hand brush through her hair as she fell asleep.

A bottle of Plain ‘n’ Pure water sat on the floor next to them. She grabbed it and drank, replacing the hours of fluids she missed, and began to remember more of what happened.

She remembered being high as  _ fuck _ with Max, all chilled out, sitting on the hermit's floor and huffing incense for what seemed like forever, she had felt so  _ tingly _ and  _ sensitive… _ but nothing beyond that.

"Oh, shit," she gasped, feeling a sudden tight stirring between her legs. "Fuck."

“Are you okay? I can get Dr. Fenhill—”

“No, Max, I’m fine. Just trying to… remember… fuck, I’m sore,” she groaned and stretched her limbs out, rolling her neck once for good measure and sighing at the tension releasing.

“What do you remember?” he asked nervously.

“Uh… couldn’t tell you, really. Just flashes of things. A  _ lot _ of smoke. Nyoka vomited, maybe? And… and…”

“And?”

“I don’t know,” she groaned. “Hope I didn’t do anything too embarrassing. I feel so fucking  _ old.” _

“Yes, Captain… we were  _ very _ high.”

“Yeah… yeah. I’m a lightweight.”

“Indeed.”

They sat in a still silence.

“Well,” he finally broke the silence, “that was quite the experience. I feel… different.”

“Oh yeah? Have you been thoroughly enlightened?”

"I know you jest, Captain, but… yes. It feels like… Well, like everything I ever believed was a lie that I built to feel secure, to create some notion of control in my life. Yet the very basis of my belief was a false narrative from my own misunderstanding."

He sounded sad, but satisfied. Lenora had never heard him like this before.

“But,” he continued, “I feel lighter. I’m no longer interpreting, I’m… experiencing. I understand so much more now, all that there is to be experienced. To be lived. I caused so much of my own suffering by clinging to the way I want things to be, not enjoying the way they are.”

“Wow. That’s… good?”

“I feel content.”

“That  _ is _ good.”

“And I realized… well… maybe later. Rest now.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to sleep when you— ohhh, ahhh…” She tumbled back onto the mattress after trying to stand up, the world spinning around her. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll sleep.”

* * *

Len woke up feeling genuinely refreshed. Nyoka had made some kind of stew for everyone—“a Monarch specialty” was the extent of her description of the dish— and she was happy to join the rest of the crew in eating it.

“Feeling better?” Ellie drawled, threateningly spinning a syringe of Adreno in her hand like she was ready to strike at the first sign of Len looking ill.

“I’m good, I’m good,” she answered quickly and spun around to demonstrate her returned health. “No drugs for me anytime soon, good Doctor.”

“Just let me know.” She craftily slipped the med into her jacket pocket and sauntered away.

Max sat across from her and watched her as she ate, attentive and relaxed. She looked back and smiled with eyebrows raised, questioning his glances.

“Can I help you?” she asked Max as he sidled next to her. The other crew seemed distracted by Felix and Parvati explaining the latest episode of their favorite serial.

“Could we speak somewhere more private?”

“Who am I to deny the good Vicar?”

He bristled at that but smiled, leading her to his cabin. They sat at his table— _ here again, _ she thought—and he folded his hands in his lap.

“I thought you ought to know that when we were… under the influence, we… kissed,” he stated plainly.

“Oh, fuck.”

“And… erm… did as much as two people could do fully clothed.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry—”

“I was perfectly alright with it, Captain,” he chuckled, putting a hand up to slow her barrage of apologies.

“Wait, really? Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I realized some things, seeing my mother and my… self. I’ve become quite disillusioned by the Order and Scientism. I let the customs and ideology control me and it has kept me from really  _ living. _ I’ve lost so much of my life to analysis and desperation, and I feel unchained now. I can indulge.”

“... Indulge?”

“Don’t let your mind run just yet,” he smiled again. He really was relaxed, wasn’t he? A loose, comfortable posture. No fidgeting, no hard stares. He was  _ different. _

“You set me up for that. Isn't lust against your religion, Vicar?” She responded playfully but sharply—she wasn’t going to fall into this with him again.

Not unless this was the real deal.

“Of course. But it seems I’ve lost my faith.” He flashed her a wicked grin and stood, trying to seem imposing towering over her.

_ Unless this is the real deal. _

“I should also let you know,” he continued, “you said that you love me.”

She bristled for a moment, but rolled her shoulders and shrugged. “This crew is my family, Max. We’ve been through a lot together. I’m not gonna be childish and deny how my feelings have grown.”

“So a declaration of love—err, it’s not strictly—”

“You’ve put me through a lot of bullshit, you know that?” She stood to meet him at eye level, arms folded across her chest. He nearly stumbled back, eyes widening, unsure if he should start panicking or not. “You keep pulling me in and pushing me away, you’ve made me feel like shit. But I couldn’t leave you. You had faith in me, and you were kind, and you were warm, and…” her lip quivered, “you were there for me.”

“You’ve shown me more patience than I deserve, Captain,” he humbly acknowledged.

“Isn’t that what family does? We put up with shit and help each other. You and I needed help and we found it together.”

“We did.”

“And that’s love, right? So yeah. I love you.” It felt clunky on her tongue like she shouldn’t be saying it, but she couldn’t stop it from coming out. “Really, I do.”

“I—” He looked stunned and at a loss, his jaw hanging open and his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“Kiss me,” she demanded, stepping closer to him to grab the suspenders of his clothes—still not vestments.  _ Thank the Architect. _

There was no hesitation, nothing held back in his movement. They pulled each other in and met their lips messily, their teeth clacking for a moment before Len opened her mouth to let Max’s tongue freely explore. 

This kiss felt different. The circumstances were different, for one, but things were finally spoken out in the world. No more hidden feelings that only revealed themselves in outbursts. No more painful choices acted out of spite. She relaxed in his hold, his thick fingers gently gripping her arms. She was reminded of their first kiss right here in his cabin where she felt like she was floating away, but Max’s touch brought her back. But now, she wasn’t floating away at all. She was already grounded.

Lenora pulled back to take a breath and look at him. He was blushing terribly and had a warm smile on his face, looking at her with so much affection she could hardly keep from kissing him again.

“I want to take this slow,” she said. “Want to get to know the new you,” she continued lowly, giving in as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.

“While I am loath to admit it, that is probably best. Though, Captain,” he added, “I desperately want to return to you all the pleasure you’ve given me. Everything you deserve.”

She shivered at his offer and let out a breathy moan. “I… fuck, I would like that very much.”

“I recall Ms. Ramnarim-Wenworth said she wanted to return to Monarch to visit her old team. Perhaps a stop in Fallbrook could be arranged along the way,” he muttered, twirling a strand of her curled hair between his fingers.

“Max, are you sure? I don’t… I don’t—”

“If you don’t want to get your hopes up, I understand,” he said softly. “You have every right to feel that way. But I promise to make it worth your while, if you’ll have me.”

“I’ll fucking have you,” she concurred.

“It’s been a while,” he grinned shyly, “so I must further beg your patience.”

She leaned back to stare hard at him. “Are you—”

“No, Captain,” he laughed. “I’ve had my share of carnal experiences. Before I joined OSI.”

“So… a long time,” she iterated. “Damn. Now I don’t want to wait at all.”

“I would appreciate the privacy,” he started, his voice turning to a low growl, “for all the things I wish to do to you.”

_ “Fuck,  _ Max, that’s just mean. I need some air.”

Lenora stepped out, hoping the rest of the crew wouldn’t have made too much of she and Max being gone, but they were thankfully enthralled by Felix’s poor retelling of a serial episode.

“Nyoka, we’re going to Monarch,” she called, to the crew’s excitement. “Let’s get going. You’re welcome, Max,” she ragged, throwing him a knowing look.

Max gave her a relaxed, roguish grin. “Delightful, Captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!! Next chapter is going to be A LOT OF SMUT thank you so much for sticking with me, it's getting near the end TTnTT
> 
> Someone asked what Lenora looks like on Tumblr, I've kept her description vague for the reader's benefit but if anyone wants to know I wrote a little thing describing her [here](https://hellacopterwrites.tumblr.com/post/611440084310441984/ive-never-described-my-captain-in-the-outer)
> 
> We hit 2400 hits at some point and I'm crying! Thank you all so much for the love, I'm just so grateful other people love this game and its silly characters as much as I do ^.^


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and the Captain finally find their way back to Fallbrook and make up for lost time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs for this chapter: we earn that E rating and that's about it!!!

Lenora stood over a kneeling Nyoka, tears in both their eyes as her companion buried the last remaining memories of the fighter’s old team. They had to fight through a Mantiqueen and its hive to reclaim Nyoka’s old base, but they considered the effort well worth it in the emotional aftermath.

“Could we stay here for the night?” Nyoka asked, her voice sounding scratched with tears.

“Was gonna suggest that very thing,” Len replied with a warm smile.

The two women had traveled from Stellar Bay with Max as the Captain hadn’t wanted to overwhelm Nyoka with having to divulge anything to the rest of the crew. This was _her_ personal mission that she’d asked Len to accompany her on, no one else needed to be involved. Max was there for gun support and after the big fight gladly took point at the front of the complex, just in case.

They spent the evening quietly, enjoying a comfortable silence in the huge cavern. Nyoka cooked canned food over a small fire, Lenora took the time to clean her weapons and comb out her hair.

“This reminds me of camping trips I used to take on Earth. Just… a lot more dangerous. And in space. Like a weird fever dream sleepover. It’s good, though.”

Nyoka cracked a smile. “Thanks for coming with me, Cap. I appreciate the company.”

“Hey. Anything for my crew.” Her tone was serious but soft. She knew her crew member wasn’t one for physical touch so she withheld her usual encouraging shoulder pat and went for a thoughtful nod instead.

“So… what’s the plan after this?” she changed the subject, picking at the remains of their meager dinner.

“Might pop into Fallbrook with Max to check in with Catherine, see if she has anything else for us before the… before we go to Phineas.” She couldn’t hide how her face fell at the mention of _the big event._ Going back to the _Hope,_ reviving the colonists. It was the endgame. “I hope you don’t mind heading back to Stellar Bay solo.”

Nyoka gave her a questioning look but didn’t press. “Been there, done that. As for Phineas… You wanna talk about it, or forget?”

“Maybe forget for a little while,” she grinned slightly as Nyoka pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

“Bottom’s up, then.”  
  


* * *

  
They didn’t drink so much that they were hungover the next morning. As they trekked north, they cut through the beasts in their way with ease. Nyoka told Lenora a bit more about her old team, her life growing up on Monarch.

“Might come back here and start up a new squad after all’s said and done. I’m one hundred percent with you ‘til then, though,” she added, kicking a mantipillar in their path.

“I’d be glad to see you back in your element. You’ll make this place thrive again, I’m sure of it.”  
  


* * *

  
Lenora parted ways with Nyoka, leaving her with a cartridge holding a ridiculous amount of bits.

“Obviously I’d appreciate you all to be a little responsible but you deserve to treat yourselves after the time we’ve had. Enjoy it, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Will do, Cap. Thanks again.”

The Vicar—former Vicar—led the Captain through Fallbrook's gates after their goodbyes to the fighter. Part of Len was tense with anticipation; another part of her felt perfectly ready for the task at hand. _Another special mission,_ she thought to herself with a smile.

“So… Captain.”

“I think you’ve earned the right several times over to call me by my actual name, Maximillian.”

“Oh. Of course, Lenora. Erm…”

The conversation lapsed as they counted the cobblestones towards the rental rooms and Len could feel anxiety emanating from his person, taut like a bowstring.

“I think I can still feel the drugs,” she eventually broke the silence, still smiling. She didn’t necessarily enjoy Max’s suffering, but he, the hard, pragmatic asshole being nervous about anything was amusing to her. “Were you a partier in your pre-Vicar days?”

“Not especially,” he grinned.

“But you were a ladies’ man, yeah?” she pried with cocked eyebrows.

“I—not exactly like that, I mean—well, I did have _some_ female attention, but—why are you laughing?” he frowned.

“Max, we walked across a monster-infested wasteland of a planet to fuck. No need to be so uptight. That’s too Vicarly of you.”

“Oh, fuck you,” he attempted to sneer, but there was no venom in his voice.

“When Nyoka told me about her plans after everything… well, it made me wonder what everyone else will do. I’m worried about a lot of things, but what happens afterward, if we survive—”

“Which we will,” he interrupted.

“Sure, which we will,” she smiled, “I just worry where everyone will go.”

“I don’t mean this as a dismissal, but that’s a concern for future Lenora. Right now, we focus on what’s about to come.”

“Hopefully us, right?”

“Fuck. Erm, yes.”

She laughed again at his bright blush. She looked around and, seeing no one paying too close attention to them, pulled him in for a deep kiss.

The cool breeze traveling through the caverns from the waterfall in the rear of the town was a balm on their sore, sun-touched skin, which made her just barely aware of how grimy she felt after spending days fighting her way through Monarch. She nearly fumbled with the key card needed to enter the suite Catherine referred to as “VIP” once she realized that finally, _finally,_ they were at their destination.

“Shower?” Len suggested plainly as she unlocked the room.

“That would be lovely.” He grabbed her hands as the door hissed open and walked her further in towards the bathroom, grinning with dark eyes.

“Nervous?” she teased at his forwardness.

“Hardly.” He wrapped his arms around her to bring her into a warm embrace and a biting kiss, pulling at her top while she attempted to unbutton his shirt at the same time, their movements inhibiting one another’s goals. She swatted his wrists away and pulled her clothes off, slipping out of her pants as well, and admired the reveal of his firm muscles as he followed.

They were both _buzzing_ under their skin as if every atom in their bodies was trying to hold together. Len was groping around for the knobs and gasped as hot water shocked them both, quickly steaming up the room.

It was _exquisite,_ absolutely fucking exquisite, to finally feel his bare body against hers. Her nipples were tickled by his chest hair and she nearly yelped feeling his hardening cock brush against her pubic bone.

“Fuck,” Max uttered, barely above a whisper as he gripped her waist and pulled her closer. He began lazily grinding against her and kissing her neck, water soaking his head and spilling over her shoulders.

She reached between them and opened herself a bit to clean her crotch and legs. Max stepped back a bit to give her room, not letting up on her throat and collarbone as she simultaneously washed and prepared herself, well on her way to peak arousal.

There was soap stocked in the bathroom that they both took in their hands and caringly explored each other, the fresh smell overwhelming her senses as she ghosted her lips over his wet shoulders and chest.

As soon as they were thoroughly rinsed, she shut off the water and clasped his hand, walking towards the bed. She’d made a point to avoid his crotch, wanting to take her time with him.

They fell breathlessly over the sheets, his cock still lightly grinding into her, against her hip this time. The damp warmth that the shower brought them enriched the scent of their arousal.

“Where would you like me, Captain?” he asked deeply, calling on a line he normally used in combat. She flushed at his double meaning and flipped their positions, his arms caging her underneath him.

“I need to, uh… warm up.”

“Would you like help with that?” He cocked his eyebrow at her with that _fucking smirk_ that told her he knew what she wanted.

“Shut the fuck up.” She guided him by the shoulders lower down her body until he was leaning over her stomach.

He pulled her legs over his and started kissing down her abdomen. Lenora suddenly became almost painfully aware of how much _friction_ she craved.

“Shit!” she cried as his lips and tongue found themselves firmly between her thighs. He licked hesitantly against her clitoral hood and groaned, reflexively humping her rear where his cock was trapped.

He teased two fingers against her labia as he started short, sharp licks against her clit, and pressed into her as his lips sucked around her firmly.

“Fucking void, fuck,” she hollered, unable to stop her hips from twitching and shaking. He held her down with his other hand as he continued.

He seemed reluctant in his actions and maybe a little clumsy. She assumed he’d done this before with the way he was going about it—or maybe he’d just read a lot of romance in his time—but it was incredibly endearing to her, feeling him explore and learn as he went.

“Yes, right there, Max, FUCK. Please don’t stop,” she begged, lightly gripping his hair to guide him. He twisted his fingers up and curled them in, forcing another yell out of her.

“I-I’m close,” she keened and followed with a moan as she finished.

The tight build-up inside her swelled and released in waves that washed through her entire body, wracking her muscles with spasms as Max worked her through the orgasm, coaxing more and more from her until she collapsed.

After some languid kisses that he left across her jaw, she jumped forward, biting his lip hard. That aggression and passion in him reared itself again, coming alive under her touch. Though he was a new man after Scylla, she felt that fire would always be a part of him.

“I fucking _love_ that.” Her voice came out breathy and husky as he sank his teeth into the pulse on her neck, deep enough to leave a mark. She reached to get her hand around his cock, slowly guiding him between her legs, teasing herself with his tip.

“I can’t—I can’t wait,” he growled, no real threat in his voice. She recognized desperation, not impatience.

“Fuck me, then,” she responded in a playfully combative tone. A dare for him to _just take her already._

He growled and wrapped one arm around her middle, the other arm holding him up, before slotting his legs between hers and pressing against her wet folds. He barely prodded, sliding up and down to slick himself, and then pressed in slowly, excruciatingly slowly, inch by inch. His whole body sank against hers until he was fully slotted in, both of them letting out a low groan in response.

“Oh, Max, fuck,” she nearly sobbed. “Fucking _finally.”_

“I’ve been waiting for this… for so long,” he gasped.

“You’re telling me, old man,” she hummed, pushing her hips up.

He hissed at her movement and she could feel him trembling. Wordlessly, he held her hip down and pulled out as far as he could before thrusting back in, setting a slow pace to savor the new sensation.

“That’s—whew, that’s tight,” she panted. His angle plunged him deep, stretching her open in a way she hadn’t been in years— _no, fuck, decades._

“How long’s it been?” she breathed out, gradually meeting his thrusts with her own.

“Um—f-fuck, I—I d-don’t—”

“Got it,” she chuckled. “You can speed up, you know.”

“I can’t f-fucking think,” he finally got out, eyes lidded and jaw clenched tight. His movements were still smooth and steady.

“Hey, hey, you’re doing great.” She grabbed his shoulders as she tried to soothe him, “Feels so fucking good, Max, love feeling you inside me.”

He let out a broken groan and increased his pace.

“I want to hear you, Max, don’t hold it in.”

“FUCK,” he choked out, his movements more aggressive. She angled her hips up to take him deeper and they both reacted… loudly. “Have—m-my Captain under me, fuck, you take my cock so w-well. So tight—” He cut himself off with a moan and dropped his head, his sweat-drenched hair barely brushing her nose.

She leaned up and caught his forehead in a kiss. “Oh, Max…” She cupped his jaw and compelled him to look at her. She almost laughed at how wide-eyed and frenzied he looked and kissed him deeply, tongue swiping into his mouth, teeth dragging out his top lip. His heaving breaths were hot against her face and she could tell he was falling apart.

“You close?” she breathed into his mouth, kissing him hungrily again.

“Y-yes, I—Lenora—”

His shoulders were tense, his legs were shaking, as he thrust deeper into her. He grabbed one of her thighs and pushed it back against her torso, nearly folding her in half with how deep he was penetrating her. Her other leg wrapped around his waist to steady herself and she ran her hands through his hair, gripping it and pulling _hard._

He came with a yelp, thrusting erratically as he finished. His grunts melded with her moans and they both fell back against the bed to catch a breath.

“God damn,” she struggled, coherent thought escaping her.

“Fuck,” Max whispered hoarsely and shakily peeled himself off of her, not pulling out as he did so.

Lenora could’ve come again at just the sight of him. His chest was glistening with sweat, his hair was askew, and his expression was slack, somewhere between shock and bliss. He was still panting hard looking down at her.

“Hi,” she grinned.

“H—” he took a breath, “hi.”

She pushed him back to pull him out of her and stood, silently guiding him back to the bathroom. They cleaned each other up quietly, only communicating through gentle touches and soft laughs. They were both sheepish in the afterglow and the sweetness between them made Len’s chest ache.

“That was really, really great.” She pulled him back into the bed and held him close, his head on her breast and his hand trailing fingers up her side.

“Indeed,” he chuckled, his voice leaving goosebumps across her bare skin.

“So how long’s it been?” She grinned at his scoff.

“Are you asking because I didn’t have the, err, stamina you might expect from someone my age?”

“No! No, I was just wondering. I like knowing I can make you come so quickly.”

Max’s face and chest flushed red at her confession and he cleared his throat, avoiding her amused eyes.

“If you must know, it’s been… Twenty years, give or take.”

“You really don’t remember?”

He grumbled, sounding embarrassed. “I—I do, I just… It was a long time ago. And I couldn’t—I didn’t want to think about it much.”

“Oh. Was it… bad…?”

“No, I just couldn’t afford the distraction. It’s a very good memory.”

Len grinned. “Good. I hope this lived up to it.”

“Absolutely.”

“It’s been more than seventy years for me. Not sure how much time I lost in space, but this was a great way to break that streak.”

“Happy to be of service, Captain.” He winked at her and she blushed, flustered by his insistence at using her title.

“This is nice,” he eventually continued. “Being here. With you.”

“I lo—I like this, too.”

“Hmm.”

They eventually fell into a comfortable sleep until Len was unexpectedly awoken by Max’s erection poking into her hip.

“Max,” she mumbled, running her fingers down his stomach and settling in the hair just above his cock.

“Fuck, Lenora,” he groaned, stretching under her touch.

“Round two?”

_“Please.”  
  
_

* * *

  
They stuck to the road that led directly north from Fallbrook to Stellar Bay, only occasionally coming across danger, continuing their discussion on their plans for the _Hope_ and Lenora’s thoughts on Phineas. They talked about the Board, briefly touched on Max’s years at OSI—he was reluctant to go into it too much as it was still a raw subject—and of the holidays she celebrated on Earth.

“It’s called a quinceañera,” she corrected his poor pronunciation. “It’s a party to celebrate a girl’s fifteenth birthday as a transition from girlhood to womanhood.”

“And you had one of these?”

“Yeah, it was… well. It was quite the event.” She cringed remembering her cousins getting into a food fight, destroying the cake and her aunt’s kitchen.

“Spanish is easier for me to grasp than French, but it’s still beyond me.”

“Max, the great scholar, seeker of forbidden knowledge, completely clueless about foreign languages. Embarrassing,” she laughed and winked at him.

They met up with everyone else back at the Yacht Club. Drinks flowed and Lenora made sure to bring plenty of bits to ensure they ate exceptionally well. If they were going to walk into certain death, they were going to go out well-fed and well-rested.  
  


* * *

  
Stellar Bay was left a little quieter when the crew returned to the ship. They were going to head back to Terra 2 and orbit the planet before they journeyed into the unknown to the _Hope._ Everyone needed time to mentally prepare for what they were about to do—skip drive an entire ship holding thousands of colonists across the galaxy, something so dangerous it was outlawed in Halcyon—and one by one, each of them met with Lenora for counsel. Nyoka and Parvati, to Len’s surprise, also visited with Max. Though distanced from his identity as a vicar, parts of his new nihilistic perspective were… strangely comforting.

Everyone finally broke and went to their rooms, some to sleep and some to distract themselves with anything they could while they still had time to relax if they could even call it relaxing. Max, naturally, made his way to Lenora’s room and she gladly welcomed him in with a smirk.

“Couldn’t get enough, huh?”

“I didn’t come just for that, I—”

“Bullshit, you didn’t. You know I don’t want to talk about Phineas or think about the _Hope_ or the Board or any of it. I’ll figure it out when I get there, so since you’re not here to talk, you must be here for something else.”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re… alright.”

“I mean, right now with everything in my head, no. But generally, yes.” She smiled widely at his softened expression, looking at her so thoughtfully.

“How else can I be of service, then?”

She stepped towards him and brought him in for an unchaste kiss, their contact already stirring something in her. “ADA, lock the door,” she commanded before pulling Max to her bed. Though much smaller than the bed in Fallbrook, it would do. That, and the floor had been recently cleaned.

Naked and breathless, she was face down in the mattress as Max railed into her from behind, one hand pulling her mess of hair back and the other toying between her legs. Her thighs were quaking from the building orgasm and the strain of the position, but it was the kind of ache she craved during sex.

Max lasted longer this time, which he was proud to make a point of after they were finished. He’d gotten her off after edging her closer and yanking her back several times, the pleasure driving her towards delirium as her words to him became nothing more than incoherent moans and begging sounds. He finally took her all the way there, the orgasm so strong it pushed him out of her and he finished on her back with one hand still gripping her hair as he pumped himself through his peak.

“Warn a girl next time,” she groaned at feeling his come drip down her skin.

“I wasn’t prepared for the intensity and force of your climax,” he explained so matter-of-factly she almost laughed.

“Glad to know I’ve still got it. You’re responsible for cleaning up this mess.”

He slipped his clothes back on and left, returning with a wet towel seemingly without issue.

“No one accosted you?” she asked, only barely joking.

“It seems the crew are isolating with their anxieties and vices for the evening, just as we are.”

“Mmm. Thanks, Max. I could really get used to this.”

He leaned in close to her ear and growled, “You should get used to it.”

Her body throbbed at his voice and she threw an arm over her eyes with a moan. “Damn, Max. You really don’t let up. Lay with me?”

“Gladly.” He stripped back down to nothing and slid behind her, holding her close against him. He ran his fingers through her hair and explained the rules of tossball—it was complete nonsense to her but she gladly listened, just to hear his voice—and once again fell asleep in each other’s arms.  
  


* * *

  
… Until the morning when voices outside the room stirred them awake.

“ADA, unlock this damn door, the Captain _never_ sleeps this late—” Felix demanded.

“She’s worn out! She needs her rest!” Parvati’s voice pleaded, muffled on the other side of the door.

Light from the hall cut into the darkness and Len reflexively pulled the sheets over herself, panicked and willing herself to consciousness. “Guys, what the fuck—”

“See? She’s _fine—_ wait, Max?” Parvati took a moment to process before shielding her eyes. “Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry—”

Max, still as naked as Lenora, sat up behind her and stared at the crew, now all in the Captain’s quarters, with his eyebrows raised. Len silently begged any higher power that it didn’t still smell like sex.

“Uh… Morning,” she greeted nonchalantly.

Everyone quickly shuffled out without another word, leaving the two of them alone in the dark again.

“Guess that’s out now,” Len grumbled, feeling flustered and exposed.

“I suppose so. My morning erection has been completely chased away, I’m afraid, so shall we get breakfast?”

“Ugh.” She fell back against him and rubbed her face in her hands. “There’s no avoiding it, so let’s get this over with. But, wait,” she stopped Max as he started to leave the bed, “what are we going to tell them?”

“That after months of tension, against all odds, we finally fell into bed together and have been enjoying stimulating each other both physically and emotionally.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she laughed, pushing him off of her. “Are we… together?”

“Are we?” he shot back with a grin, then turned more serious. “I would be honored to be yours.”

“Oh,” her voice quivered, holding back a sudden wave of emotion. “Then… yeah. Mine. Us. We can—we’re… together.”

He stood beside the bed and leaned down, gently cupping her chin to pull her up for a kiss. “I gladly accept.” He paused to look at her with an expression so soft, she nearly started crying until he smirked and continued, “Well. I’ll follow your lead, then, Captain,” as he pulled his clothes together.

“Oh, fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been YELLING at my computer in absolute glee every time I worked on this chapter. It is my pride and joy. It was a delight to write. My heart is full, I love these idiots so much and fictional love is REAL. I had a whole thing I was going to write here about my thoughts but I'm just so glad to finally be getting this out.
> 
> We have ONE MORE CHAPTER and I'm honestly heartbroken to end it but it will be worth your while, I promise. More smut and LOTS of fluff coming your way. Thank you so much for your comments and enthusiasm, it means so much! I'm just glad we can all enjoy this together and that my horny fic turned into something WONDERFUL.
> 
> Hit me up on [Tumblr](https://hellacopterwrites.tumblr.com/). If I remember my rambling thoughts on this chapter I'll end up posting it there at three in the morning while I cry about this dumb game.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Captain and Max explain themselves to the crew. Lenora just wants a distraction as the team prepares for Tartarus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's smut luv xx

“Elephant in the room, Max and I are together. You can ask your stupid questions for the next five minutes and then shut the fuck up about it forever.”

“He didn’t drug you or anything, did he?” Ellie chuckled.

“Am I not capable of making my own damn choices without accusations of being under the influence, Doctor?” Lenora bit back. Ellie’s smile faltered for a moment and she stepped back slightly, hands raised in mock surrender.

“Um, how… how long…” Parvati started, still stuttering from having to witness her captain and ex-vicar in bed together.

“Uh… it’s pretty recent,” she shrugged, sharing a brief glance with Max. He wore a shit-eating grin at the discomfort being lobbed at her.

“If you ever hurt her, Vic, I swear on—on  _ something _ that I will—” Felix started.

“There’s no need for threats of violence, Mr. Millstone. I care as deeply for your captain as you do. No harm will come to her if I have anything to say about it.”

Len blushed at Max’s bold admission and cleared her throat, trying to keep a straight, stern expression in front of her crew.

“How  _ deep _ does he care, Captain?” Nyoka asked, wiggling her eyebrows and smirked, elbowing Ellie and smacking wildly embarrassed Felix on the back.

Max gaped at her in exasperation. “I will  _ not _ grace that question with an answer—”

“Pretty fucking deep,” Len cut in, causing everyone to groan and break into laughter. “Oh, was I not supposed to say, dear?” she added with feigned innocence. Max only ran a hand down his face in response. “I honestly don’t mind the teasing but I will fire any of you for sexual harassment,” she attempted to threaten but couldn’t hide her amusement. “Back to work, dammit.”

The two of them ate mostly in silence as the rest of the crew rushed around the ship, readying their weapons and armor. Len could hear Nyoka and Parvati back in the cargo bay working on the engineer’s shooting again. Her focus wavered as thought started to boil over into panic: panic about Tartarus and  _ the impossible mission _ they were about to take themselves on, panic about the possibility of watching her team die, panic about never seeing her family again—

Max’s large palm rested on top of her tapping fingers on the table, squeezing gently. She was pulled out of her fugue and turned to him in surprise, calmed by his presence and the small smile that played at his lips. She blushed—fucking  _ blushed _ like a  _ teenager— _ and gave a broken smile back, her mouth quivering a bit, still lost in uncertainty.

He leaned into her and muttered, “I’ve got you, Captain,” deep and wistful in her ear. She shivered and shrugged the tension away, nodding in acknowledgment. “Shall we?” He stood and held her hand, inclining his head to her quarters.

* * *

As soon as they entered her room and the door was shut, she buried her face in his shoulder, nipping kisses at his neck, and wrapped her arms tight around his chest.

“Ah, Captain, I didn’t—”

“I know we talked about being healthier in our… expressions to each other, but I need you to fuck me,” she breathed raggedly, pulling off her jacket and tossing it haphazardly across the room.

“We shouldn’t fuck just because we’re about to put ourselves in mortal peril,” Max said, exasperation by her advances.

“There is literally no better excuse to fuck than in this exact scenario, dammit!” she retorted. They were standing in her office, Max leaned up against her desk, with his captain a few feet away. She stomped up and caged him in with her arms, leaning into his space and growled. “If we die, the last thing I want to think about as I’m drifting into eternal blackness is how your cock feels pumping cum down my throat. So take off your fucking pants and let’s  _ forget _ everything else right now, for God’s sake.”

Max stared back at her in a mix of shock, concern, and complete adoration. Wordlessly, he squirmed between her arms to undo his belt and gracelessly drop his pants.

Len hauled him up onto the desk, one of his legs barely supporting him on the ground and the other rather delicately bent under the desk.

“Good boy,” she whispered and dropped to her knees.

She mouthed around his cock, barely half hard, leaving bruising bites and kisses on his stomach and inner thighs. He twitched and gasped at every nip and let out a huff when she finally started pumping his cock with her hand, the other hand squeezing his thigh.

“Fuck,” he hissed as she took him in her mouth, making him fully erect. His knuckles went white with how hard he was gripping the edge of the desk and his teeth dug into his bottom lip to keep himself quiet.

“Tastes great, love,” she hummed, licking the tip before swallowing him down again. She couldn’t take all of him at once—her throat didn’t wield  _ that _ level of power—but her hand covered the rest. His skin was soft and scorching hot, a slightly stronger and muskier flavor than when she kissed him.

She hadn’t really tasted him yet, had she? Thank the Architect above that she got the chance before they threw themselves to the hands of fate and certain death on Tartarus.

Len pulled back a bit to watch him. He was panting heavily above her, sweat starting to gather where his thighs and hips met, and his cheeks were burning red. She could feel his legs tensing under her touch.

“Don’t—don’t  _ fucking  _ stop,” he gasped, sliding his fingers through her hair and gripping  _ hard. _

She hummed around him and picked up her pace. He was just thick enough that spit was dripping around her lips, lips that felt numb from friction. Still, the natural lubrication and the silkiness of his skin made it a smooth experience, so she continued faster and hollowed out her cheeks to increase the suction. He hissed out an unintelligible curse and she could feel his cock throb. She stilled her neck’s bobbing and put a tight focus around his tip, swirling her tongue and sucking mercilessly while her hand pumped him.

Small, rough sounds were coming in fast breaths, deep groans that made Max sound  _ desperate. _ The mighty preacher, helpless and begging under her tongue. Her jaw ached as she smiled at that and dug the sharp nails of her left hand into his leg hard enough to pierce skin. His guttural moans transformed into sobs as that tipped him over the edge, spending into her mouth. His slick was bitter on her tongue and she hid a gag as she swallowed it down, laughing to herself.  _ Forgot how fucking nasty this stuff tastes. _

Len didn’t stop until he nearly tore her off of him, the overstimulation making his legs tremble. “That was…” he trailed off, unable to finish his thought as he caught his breath.

“And to think, you almost said no to this,” she teased, kissing up his thigh. His eyes flashed angrily for a moment and he grabbed her jaw to hold her in place.

“I’ve learned my lesson. Shall I teach you one, now?”

Len slid away from him and spread her legs, still on her knees. “Yes, Vicar.”

He sneered down at her, a wicked look on his face. “Very good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: this will be the last chapter  
> also me: so that was a fucking lie dot jpeg
> 
> I had a few more ideas to get us to the end so uhhh at least one more chapter for Tartarus and another after that to wrap things up?? corona has completely fragmented my brain lol but I appreciate y'all SO MUCH so I really wanted to get something out to show you I'm thinking of you all and I'm still alive lol. Big shout outs to all my new readers and commenters during pandemic tho we got 3100 HITS in the last month!! That's f**king insane!!!
> 
> anyway I'll update again one day, I hope you enjoy this delicious morsel until then <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew takes Tartarus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small TW for violence, a horny but matter-of-fact former vicar, big wife guy energy

“They fucking _took_ him.” 

Phineas was gone. His lab was trashed and a warrant for his arrest was pinned to his door. He was in the prison on Tartarus, maybe the worst place on the worst planet in the galaxy—a place no one left once they arrived. 

Not too different from the _Hope_ at that point. 

Once a few weeks before she had wandered through the halls where Phineas recovered her pod and stared at the sleeping faces of her parents and her brother. She sat and talked to them and cried. When she woke up not remembering that she’d fallen asleep, she found Max’s jacket draped over her and some food. Everything she did, she’d done for her family, but then… 

Well. Her crew was just as much family to her now, and everyone in the colony deserved better than to suffer at the hands of the Board. 

“Those Board goons kidnapped Mr. Phineas and hauled him away to Tartarus. How’re we gonna get him out?” Parvati asked, voice full of righteous anger as she lightly brought her fist to the table they were all sitting around. 

“I’m not one for pointless heroism, but the Board’s gonna be after _us_ next. We gonna finish what we started?” Ellie added with an edge of hopefulness. 

Despite Phineas’s oddities, he was their best hope for the future. With the entire colony suffering from a food shortage and Earth’s greatest minds on ice, he was the only person with the knowledge to revive them safely as he’d revived her. And, she wasn’t embarrassed to admit she’d become fond of the old man. 

“Getting in is the simple part. It’s getting out again that’s the trouble. Trust me, I know,” Max admitted grimly. 

Len gave him a sad grin. “Yeah, Prison Vicar. You’d know better than any of the rest of us. So what, we roll up and walk in?” 

“Let’s just do it. Kick down some doors, grab Doc Welles, and cut a path out. We don’t need a plan—we got guns!” Felix exclaimed, lurching forward excitedly. 

“That’s the craziest plan I’ve ever heard,” Ellie drawled at him, “and I mean that as a compliment.” 

“Look, Captain. You didn’t hire me to think, and I ain’t about to start now. You’re my boss—and I’ll walk into fire with you,” Felix puffed out his chest. Len nodded at him, keeping her jaw clenched to hide a quivering lip. 

“I think it’s insane,” Nyoka gestured at everyone, “but… maybe the colony needs a healthy dose of insanity right about now.” 

“I know it’s dangerous and—and I won’t lie and say I’m not scared outta my wits. But I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t do something,” Parvati added. 

Max looked at Lenora fondly. “You’re asking us for more than bravery, Captain. But there are worse ways to go than dying for a good cause. I’m in.” 

“At least if we don’t make it, it’ll be a great story!” Ellie remarked. 

“You can count on us, Captain. We’re crew—for real crew. That means we got each other’s backs—right?” Parvati questioned. 

“Of course, Parv,” Len assured her, not bothering to hide the tears in her eyes and tightness of her voice. 

“Never thought I’d volunteer to break into a prison. Seems like your tendency towards risky behavior is rubbing off on me, Captain.” Max winked at her and she flashed a shaky smile back. He stepped towards her, unashamed that the rest of the crew was there, and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We’ll be with you, no matter what.” 

“Alright,” she choked, leaning into his touch. 

“Waiting on your command, Captain,” ADA chimed. 

Len nodded and flashed everyone a resolute look. “Let’s fucking do this.” 

* * *

She wasted no time pulling Max back into her bed as they all split off to their own rooms after the meeting. He whispered reassurances as he licked into her mouth, sitting up holding her as she gently rode him, tear tracks drying on her cheeks. 

“You’re perfect, Maximillian,” she sighed, the last of her crying escaping her. 

“You know your crew would do anything for you, yes?” 

“I think I’m getting that, yeah,” she agreed. She hissed as he picked up the pace, snapping his hips harder into her. 

“Really, these people would follow you to the ends of Halcyon,” he continued very seriously. “Did you see how Felix was looking at you? He really _would_ walk into fire with you. The _power_ you have, dear…” 

“Max—fuck—do you want Felix to be our third or something? I don’t wanna finish thinking about him unless you want a third,” she gasped, leaning back to get a deeper angle. 

“Would you like that, Captain?” he crooned with a playful grin. 

“Shut the fuck up,” she hissed, clenching her muscles around his cock, causing him to yelp. She smirked. 

“You won’t look so smug when I make you come,” he hummed as he grazed his teeth against her neck. 

“Then make it happen, love,” she bit back. His hand snaked between them to touch her and she didn’t have anything intelligent to say after that. 

Her kisses got sloppy as he stimulated her inside and out, and she came with a soft choked sob coming out against his lips. He followed soon after with a breathy, “Architect above. Would you like Felix—” 

“Max—” 

“—As a third? Of all people, I think you could make it happen.” 

“Uh...” She pulled off of him, clumsily falling back onto her mattress. “I—he and I already—fuck, this is not the time to talk about this.” 

“You and Felix? Really?” Thankfully, Max looked more amused and surprised than upset. 

“Yeah, when you were being a bitch to me that... one of the times. He came to me—we are not getting into this right now! God,” she groaned. “Get me a towel and a soda, Vicar.” 

_“When_ we survive Tartarus, you can tell me all about it,” he smiled. He was so fucking _gentle_ sometimes, almost too much, and it still jarred her. 

“You better not fucking die on me, Vicar,” she said quietly as he stood. “After everything we’ve been through, it’d be such a waste.” 

“Yes, dying would be inconvenient,” he agreed with a laugh, kissing her softly. His lips were so warm against hers and he tasted so _fucking_ good. 

“I mean it. As soon as we’re down there… Don’t leave my sight.” 

“On pain of death, Lenora.” 

* * *

They were met on docks at Tartarus with violent opposition, but they weren’t alone. Junlei surprised them with support from _Groundbreaker_ and her people stormed the front gates of the Labyrinth, clearing the way. 

The place was literally a maze, the given name being accurate, as they spiraled down and down into what was unfondly named “The Pit” in the center of the facility. It was the only way down to Phineas, in the deepest reaches of the prison. 

MSI soldiers from Monarch met them on the deeper levels, taking out the Board’s troops as the crew continued on their mission. 

The colony was coming together for this and to Lenora, that boded well for the future. 

With their allies behind them, they only had to worry about what was ahead. There was a stretch of walkway that curved around the edge of the cylindrical room with guards between them and an elevator, the one they needed to get closer to Phineas. There wasn’t much cover but if they timed their shots right and took down the right people, they could make it. 

“Let’s go,” Len whispered, pointing for Max and Felix to move to the next cover, with Parvati waiting behind them. The Vicar got the first shot and took down one, the next one taken by surprise as Felix ran up on them with his signature flying kick move, sending them careening over the railing down several stories. 

“Wh—more ahead, Captain!” Max suddenly said, rushing out of her sight for a moment. She panicked not being able to map out what was around the curve so motioned for the rest of the crew to follow her. 

“We’re rushing them!” she shouted and ran after Felix. 

They all heard a grunt and a cry, and Len slid behind cover and peeked over it to see Max wielding his shotgun, surrounded by— 

“Convicts…? A FUCKING prison riot?!” Len growled. 

She and Felix, being on the front lines, pounded their way through a small horde of prisoners, with Ellie, Parvati, and Nyoka taking potshots from behind. She rushed to Max and fell beside him behind broken crates that gave them just barely enough cover. 

“What did I say about leaving my sight?!” she yelled at him. 

“I don’t have a witty retort for you right now,” he only huffed in response. 

They cut through the remaining enemies and continued down the walkway over warm bodies and pooling blood. 

The elevator brought them, finally, to the ground floor, greeting them with cement walls and flashing emergency lights. The dark space was disorienting and oppressive and they pressed on, intent on finding the scientist. 

“You scout ahead, check out the rooms—but don’t go inside,” Len emphasized before sending Max and Nyoka ahead, keeping Felix with his tossball stick out to watch their backs. 

The Vicar approached a door on the left and it hissed open, his body partly obscured around the corner. He disappeared for only a moment and she tensed, counting the milliseconds before he came out. A loud BANG of a gunshot shocked her into rushing forward to see what happened, more gunfire—energy shots, this time—flying out following a limping Max. The door slid shut and he collapsed against the wall, holding his side. Blood was blooming on his shirt under his armor. 

She felt a similar rage to when those fuckers in Byzantium had gotten the better of them and nearly taken out Max. _Her_ Max. 

Red clouded her vision again. 

“Who did this to you?” she asked darkly as Ellie slipped beside her with a noise of acknowledgment to assess the damage. 

“There’s someone in the—FUCK,” he grunted as Ellie started cleaning his wound, “got me with a gun—” 

“Got it,” Len cut him off and stood up, stepping through the door with her weapons drawn. 

She was in a… studio? A green screen lined one wall, lights and a camera set up facing it. And facing her with a look of terror and a pistol aimed at her stood... 

Chairman _fucking_ Rockwell. 

“Stop right—oh, YOU,” the Chairman snapped. “I’ll be damned. And here I was, prepping this studio for our announcement, and here you are as a bonus.” 

“Chairman Rockwell, I presume. What the fuck are you doing here, asshole?” she bit back, her gun still trained on him. 

“I’m making actual progress toward stabilization and recovery. Lucky that you came here on a suicide mission, I won’t have to do the dirty work of killing you myself,” he sneered. 

“Yeah, whatever you consider progress, I don’t want any part of it. I’m here for Welles,” she spat, simmering with rage. 

“I saw you brought your little brigade with you,” he waved her off. “Your convict—err, vicar, gave me quite the scare. He’ll bleed out in the name of your fruitless attack on societal advancement. How does it feel knowing you led your crew to their deaths?” 

“You try to kill my team, and you want to kill my family and the other _thousands_ of innocents on the _Hope?_ You. Don’t. Fucking. Hurt. My. People.” 

“Halcyon is a lost cause, Captain, can’t you see that? Traipsing around the colony, defying us at every turn, but you’re just getting in the w—” 

The world slowed, the edges of her vision sparkling. She pulled out her plasma cutter and rushed him, grabbing by the shoulder and stabbing him in the stomach, and pulled the blade across his torso, effectively gutting him. She dropped his lifeless body in a heap and spun around to blast the guarding robot in the corner before it could get a shot off. She could only keel over and vomit as the world sped up to normal. 

She could _feel_ the surge of adrenaline in her veins, the sound of rushing blood in her ears, the smell of singed flesh at her feet… 

“Holy shit. Captain?” Felix’s voice pulled her out of her daze. “You just... You killed the fucking Chairman,” he pointed out breathily. They stared at each other for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Max is patched up. Ellie is going to stay with him, they’ll be safe in here. We should... we should go.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, good. One sec.” 

She whipped around and saw Ellie walking in with Max’s arm over her shoulder. She stepped up to them and gripped Max’s face, tears stinging her eyes. 

“You fucking moron,” she cried out. 

“I know, Captain, I know. I’m sorry. But I lived, didn’t—” 

He was cut off by a bruising kiss, the sounds of gunfire and shouting above them drowning out for a moment before she pulled away. 

“Don’t fucking die,” she fumed with the most intense mix of fear, anger, and longing she’d ever felt. He looked at her, stunned in silence, and nodded somberly. 

“Don't _you_ fucking die,” he hissed back, the threat of tears in his voice. “I...” 

“Captain, we gotta _go,”_ Felix urged, moving towards the next room. 

“Max?” she said, eyes wide in silent encouragement. 

“I—I love you,” he choked. 

She froze for a moment before grinning weakly and shaking her head. “I love _you.”_ She kissed him again and turned to catch up with Felix and Parvati, with Nyoka following. “Watch for the Chairman’s body!” she shouted over her shoulder. 

“The Chairman’s—oh, shit!” Ellie yelped. Ellie and Max stepped over the dead man as the rest of the crew continued on without them. 

“Did she... kill the Chairman?” 

“It appears so, Dr. Fenhill.” 

“I had no love for the guy, but... holy shit. She killed the fucking _Chairman_ for you.” 

Max bristled. “She did no such thing, I... Did she?” He worried his bottom lip with his teeth and tensed again as Ellie continued patching up his wound. 

“Gutted him, looks like. That's pretty violent, even for her. Damn.” The doctor couldn’t even muster up any smart comments beyond a weak chuckle. “She must really like you.” 

Meanwhile, Lenora found Phineas: he was locked on the other side of a massive chamber full of guard bots. The fight wasn’t easy. Felix came out of it with singes on his arms and Parvati got knocked down, crawling behind a column until the fighting died down and someone could administer basic medical care in Ellie’s absence. 

Adjutant Akande was waiting for them outside Phineas’ cell. Len didn’t hesitate with shooting her—there was a level of fear and respect she held for the woman, but she was beyond convincing. If she wasn’t with them, she was against them, and with the Chairman dead, it was better that his right-hand woman was, too. 

Phineas was mostly fine, nothing more than a few scuffs and bruises from being shackled to a chair and slapped around by the Adjutant. The Board wanted his cooperation and Len shivered at the thought; what if he caved to them? Or maybe worse, what if he didn’t? 

“Hey. Cap. Hey. We’re okay. You did it.” Nyoka’s voice sounded echoey and far away, but the hunter’s firm hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. 

They did it. They _fucking_ did it. The group doubled back to find Ellie and Max and dragged themselves back to the ship, bloodied and bruised but _alive._ They shook hands and thanked the MSI soldiers and _Groundbreaker_ fighters on their way out, Len actually crying in gratitude and relief by the time they got to the docks. 

“Welcome back, Captain,” ADA greeted as they entered the _Unreliable_ _._

“I’ve never been happier to hear you say that, ADA,” Len nearly sobbed in response. 

* * *

Len directed ADA to take them back to _Groundbreaker_ immediately. Her destination was the medical bay to get everyone checked out, then back to the lab with Phineas. It was going to be a long road getting all the _Hope_ colonists awake. 

Junlei met them at the docking bay, not hesitating in fretting over Parvati. Max was wrapped in a bandage around his waist and Felix was in a sling, all of them had cuts and bruises visible—they were a rough sight, if Len was honest with herself. They got the occasional stare but people mostly steered clear as they made their way through the promenade. 

She sat by Max as he got proper stitches and drug doses that Ellie just didn’t have on hand with their limited space and budget. The doctors did commend her for her clean work on such a rushed job. 

Parvati stayed on _Groundbreaker._ After their ordeal, Len understood not wanting to let the object of her affection out of her sight, so insisted that the engineer spend some time with Junlei and away from the madness for a bit. They parted with a tight hug, thanks, and tears. 

“I won’t be gone long, and if you need me, you know how to reach me,” Len assured her. 

“Of course. You’re always my captain, Captain,” Parvati smiled with a quivering lip. 

For everyone else, with everything finally _said and done_ , the other members of the _Unreliable_ crew had started making plans for their future. Nyoka was going to meet up with other hunters on Monarch to set up scouting teams for whenever she returned to Stellar Bay; Ellie was scoping out a smuggling ship she’d heard about from an old client; Felix was considering getting together with some of the other Back Bays brats he’d grown up with to discuss things like “anarchy” and “redistributing the wealth.” It was hard for Len to see people starting to go, but she understood. They had to live. It was never going to last forever. 

“So, what will you do, old man?” she asked Max after they’d helped Parvati move out her things. The rest of the crew was either in the Medical Bay or getting a drink at The Lost Hope, so the two of them decided to crash in her quarters and talk. 

He gave her a sheepish look and hesitated before answering, “I haven’t _lived_ in a long time. Possibly ever,” he admitted. “I’d like to make up for the experiences my selfishness cost me. To… live out a life I sought so long to create.” 

“Oh?” She couldn’t mask the quiver of sadness in her voice but gave him a sad smile. “You have a whole world to experience, Max. You don’t need to feel tied down by anyone or anything else. I mean it.” 

“I don’t relish the thought of leaving you.” 

“I’m not pushing you out. But isn’t this something that would be good for you to do… on your own?” She wasn’t sure how to articulate it exactly right without fumbling her point, but by his pensive stare, it seemed he understood. 

He grinned soberly and cast his eyes down. “You haven’t lived in this world much either, have you?” 

“Are you asking me to run away with you, Max?” she chuckled lowly. 

“No, Lenora, no. Maybe… joining the effort to rebuild the colony is the place I’ve been looking for. It is an added bonus that it would keep me close to you.” 

She choked; words were lost as she processed his proposition. “You want… to stay? With me? Here?” 

“Have I not made it clear I’m quite fond of you?” he questioned. “I could go off and live a life on my own, but… well, it would be difficult without you.” 

“Oh, Max. Fuck.” She grabbed him and pulled him close. “You can do whatever the fuck you want with me.” 

“Such a grand offer, Lenora. Don’t give me any ideas.” 

“Keep it in mind for the future. Fuck… the future. I never thought there’d be a future.” 

“I can’t say I thought of it, either. But we’re here now, aren’t we?” 

“And thank the Architect for that, right,” she jabbed with a grin and gently laid him down on her bed. They just held each other for a while, listened to the soft sounds of each other’s breathing, and eventually fell into a well-earned, desperately needed sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep thinking "this is it! the last chapter!" and then I write 5000 more words and I'm like "okay???" that's what I get for adding plot to my smut smh
> 
> I'm writing a little filler companion fic detailing what Len mentioned about Felix, it happens outside the main plot of the story so I didn't include it in this fic but for any Captain/Felix shippers, that's coming at some point. Felix said himbo rights!!
> 
> I took some inspo for this chapter from that Tumblr post about a "who did this to you" prompt where the normally reserved person A goes apeshit when person B gets injured. Len's a decent fighter but she doesn't let go in the way Max does when he's angry because she's well-adjusted and has self-control lol but I loved the idea of that role swap, and in such a pivotal scene, too. In my first playthrough, I kept the Chairman alive and moved on no problem, so I found the idea of Len straight-up murdering him shockingly cold. Guess Max makes her go crazy go stupid ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I also wanted to mention one of Max's canon game endings. *Minor spoilers* for if you support Phineas but don't finish Max's companion quest: "After all he'd seen and heard adventuring with you, the Vicar Maximillian DeSoto renounced his faith and joined the effort to rebuild the colony. Ironically, he finally found the joy that had eluded him over the course of his life, and realized that perhaps he was always meant to be just a simple laborer after all. He quickly dismissed the idea." Take that as a vague preview of next chapter if you wish 😏
> 
> Okay and I'm 96% sure next chapter will actually be the last since I have everything actually written out or at least planned lmaoooo but I've got several more TOW fics planned so this won't be the last you see of me 😤 Thank you all again so, so much for the kudos and comments, I love hearing your wonderful thoughts! Feel free to hit me up here or on my Tumblr @ hellacopterwrites if you wanna chat! I occasionally post WIPs and updates on my Tumblr too. I started playing Fallout: New Vegas recently so uhhh yeah I have something for that on the way, as well as some Dishonored 2 bullshit and maybe even revisiting my abandoned Far Cry 5 fic if that interests anyone at all 👀 anyway I'll shut up now lol thank you, your support has meant even more during quarantine and I'm so grateful for you!! This chapter is my thanks!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peep the tags for CWs this chapter 👀

Lenora usually went alone to see Phineas. She didn’t like too many distractions when working, nor did she want anyone to see her deflation after getting discouraging results in their experimentation. Who knew saving an entire colony would be such a challenge?

She and Welles were getting closer to a solution. They’d had a breakthrough and she hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up, but... she could be days away from seeing her family again.

The possibility of failure and the anxiety over waiting overwhelmed her after a particularly rough  day and she returned to the ship buzzing with leftover manic energy.

“ADA, tell Max to meet me in the cargo hold,” she grunted as she entered, dropping her pack and research notes on the floor. She left her shoes in the entryway as well and started to tie her hair up as Max peeked into the room.

“Captain,” he said softly in greeting.

“ Wanna fight?” she asked without looking at him, stripping off her gloves and shucking her jacket until she was just in pants and her undershirt.

“Anything for you, dear,” he grinned, rolling up his shirtsleeves and approaching her with a dark glint in his eyes.

“I’m not  gonna go easy on you,” she warned him, flexing her hands and pressing them into fists.

“I would hope not. Shall we?”

She charged towards him and took a swing at his side, grunting as her knuckles met tough muscle. He absorbed the blow and moved with it, spinning to her side and tripping her, slapping her ass as she stumbled forward. He flashed her a smirk and hopped back away from her, taunting her to come closer.

She made a hit to the left which he blocked with his forearm, another hit to the right that he scurried to the side to avoid, but it distracted him enough to give her the space to get her knee to make contact with his stomach. He doubled over with a loud huff as the air got knocked out of him.

Len wrapped an arm around his neck and slid behind him to choke him out. He clawed at her skin through her shirt to no avail and sputtered at the pressure before using her body weight on him to flip her over him, scrambling up to straddle her. Max didn’t hesitate to grind down against her thighs as he held her down.

She wriggled her legs  around him, rolling them over to switch their positions. She returned a cheeky roll of her hips and gripped his throat, reveling in the way he sputtered under her. He tapped out and she released him, smiling at his defeat.

“You’ve won more than the fight, dear,” he groaned, pressing his hardening cock up against her. She laughed and leaned down to kiss him, which quickly became an aggressive show of strength and control between the two of them.

“May I remind you, Captain,” ADA’s voice chimed in suddenly, “that the cargo hold hasn’t been cleaned since yesterday morning .”

“Ugh, ADA... Bed,” Len growled and helped Max up.

They stumbled to the captain's quarters and started stripping off clothes between kisses before she stopped him. “Wait, I have something for you.”

She went to her trunk in the corner of the room behind the bed and pulled out something familiar.

Len twirled a string of beads in her fingers idly, thinking back on Byzantium. Pointedly ignoring the more stressful events in the city, she recalled her night as a vicar with Max on his knees. How pretty he looked under her, the setting sun lighting up his eyes, a blaze that matched his anger and passion... A subtle shiver rushed through her body at the memory.

Max’s voice broke through the haze as he stepped closer. “What do you have—oh.” He tensed slightly seeing his old prayer beads tangled in her hands.

“Sorry, yeah, I found these when we were moving things out of your room and I was just... thinking about Byzantium.”

Max’s room was nothing more than a study holding some of his books, but the rest of his belongings had been moved into the captain’s quarters at their agreement that it was silly for him to have to walk up the stairs to change every day after spending every night in her bed.

Len had moved a larger mattress into the room—it hadn’t been easy, of course, but they made it work—and their cohabitation had become the new normal.

She bit her lip and tried to even her breath, but with him standing  _ right there _ looking at her like  _ that _ ...

“Get on your knees,” she ordered, turning away from him to drop the beads on the mattress and pull her shirt off.

She had a few theories about him and wanted to test them as soon as possible.

He silently and readily followed her command, mouth quirking up in a grin at the sight of her bare chest as she faced him again. She ran her hands through his hair and ghosted her fingers over his face and neck. He sighed into the contact and relaxed, legs unconsciously going wider.

“I want to know what you like,” she stated plainly. “Strip and lay on the bed for me. Have some fun with yourself while I watch.”

“I—of course,” he responded, unsure of her motivations.

"When we were in Byzantium, you were really into me being... authoritative,” she started to explain as he stretched over the sheets. He started lazily stroking himself to hardness. “You wanted to see me in those vestments and you let me  _ defile _ them.” She pulled out the infamous cassock from her things, to his surprise, and slipped it over her head.

“You also choked me, which I quite enjoyed,” he added with a chuckle, eyes half-closed  watching her hungrily .

“Do you like being told what to do?”

“I'm sure you’ve noticed that yes, occasionally, I do,” he scoffed sarcastically.

She hummed in acknowledgment, distracted by the way his unoccupied hand tensed and scratched at his inner thigh as if he was holding back doing something with it.

“Do you ever finger yourself?” she blurted.

He huffed in frustration and aborted his self-pleasure. “Where is this coming from?”

“Is that a no?”

“I didn’t—that’s not what I—” he stammered, frowning at her smirk. “Fine,  _ sometimes. _ Happy?”

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I... want to know what makes you feel good. Keep going,” she chided, stalking back and forth past the bed. “I have lube, if you want it.”

He didn’t answer but she walked to her trunk and dug it out anyway. It hadn’t been used in a while, what with Max himself around and willing. She popped the cap and held it over him in offering.

“ Erm ... thanks,” he grumbled, blushing at her knowing grin.

She stepped away from him and watched as he used the bottle to wet two fingers then set it aside, taking himself in his still dry hand and moving the other between his legs. He paused for a moment, contemplating something, then rolled towards her slightly and let his thighs fall open to give her full view of his body.

“Oh,” she couldn’t hold back the small exclamation. He smiled at her and closed his eyes, focusing on sliding one finger against himself, hissing at the contact.

She watched as he made small pressing circles before slipping in to the first knuckle, out, then back in a bit deeper until he had a steady rhythm going. His breath was even and his brows were furrowed in concentration. Len didn’t even realize she’d been holding her breath until she let out a stuttering sigh when he added a second finger. The low groan he emitted as he  scissored himself open forced her to lurch forward in rapt attention.

“C—” she cleared her throat, “can I?”

He opened his eyes and gave her a sultry, satisfied look. “Oh, if you must,” he feigned annoyance with a small smile.

She scrambled onto the bed and lubed her fingers, barely containing how bad she was shaking. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous, Max, but I’m about to rock your shit.”

He gritted his teeth and tensed, huffing in anticipation, wordless yearning in his expression.

She continued where he’d left off, two fingers moving in and out of him as gently as she could, gauging his comfort as he continued to slowly stroke himself.

Len slid a third finger in and  _ curled, _ Max exhaling and twitching like he’d just been punched.

“Fuck,  _ fuck,” _ he gasped and released his cock, opting to grip the sheets instead.

“I, uh... I have something I can use on you instead of fingers. If you want.” Len sounded so... shy then and she wasn’t sure why. She felt like a fumbling virgin.

“Like what?” he wheezed with a look of confusion.

She kept one hand in him as she reached under the bed and pulled out a device of her own creation. An old  tossball blocker handle sanded down to complete smoothness, smaller than Max's anatomy, had been fastened to an old leather belt. His jaw dropped.

“I can explain—” she tried to start, but he cut her off.

“You —you want to use that on me?” he gasped.

“Only if you want to,” she rushed, anxiety coiling in her gut. “Have you ever—”

“I, uh,” he started nervously, eyes shifting away from her. “I had a brief… tryst of sorts with,  erm … a man and… and a  woman right before I—before I took my oaths.”

“Fucking hell, Max. You’ve  _ got _ to tell me about that sometime.”

“ It’s been a  while since I’ve… done anything like this but I know what to expect.”

“O-okay,” Len sputtered. “Um…”

He sat up to meet her  gaze and whispered  hoarsely,

_ “Fuck me.” _

She didn’t need any more convincing than that. Her hands urged him to flip over and she started to lube up.

“Keep breathing, Vicar,” she instructed as she knelt behind him and kneaded her knuckles into his thighs to relax him. His back bowed slightly as he tried to heed her request.

“Get on with it,” he gritted. They both  paused at the breathless  _ need _ in his voice. He tried to hide his face but she reached forward and gripped his chin to look back at her.

“Don't be so needy,” she teased and slowly eased into him, bunching her cassock up so she could enjoy the view of the planes of his back muscles tightening and shuddering.  _ We’re disgusting,  _ she chuckled to herself.

She immediately started gently thrusting down, eager to pull some more new sounds out of him.

“Not helpful,” he grunted.

“You want me to be rougher with you?” she inquired instead.

“Tell me—fuck—what you said in Byzantium,” he hissed. “Vicar Zander,” he added,  humiliated. He sounded so utterly debauched by even asking. Who was she to deny him?

“Hmm. This isn’t very becoming of a man of the cloth, Maximillian,” she hummed into his ear.

“M-more,” Max begged.

“I wish OSI could see what you’re doing right now, desperate and needy underneath me just to get  off . They would be  _ horrified.” _

He moaned brokenly, pushing back to meet her thrusts, getting an even deeper angle that nearly made him collapse.

“How the mighty fall, Max.  Architect above, your own colleagues would be so fucking disappointed in you.” His cry in response to that was delirious with pleasure _. _ Len’s breathing picked up and she angled her hips down slightly to pull more strangled noises from him, hitting a more sensitive spot. She reached over and picked up the forgotten gift beside her and held them in front of his face.

His half-lidded eyes lit up in recognition at the prayer beads dangling above him. He spent many nights in meditation with those same beads wrapped around his hands, twirled in his fingers, and he gasped as she slid them over his head.

“Hold still,” she muttered, wrapping them low around his neck and twisting it once. “Good?”

Max nodded wordlessly, wetting his lips as she tightened the strand. His eyes nearly fluttered shut, rolling back at the lightheaded feeling that was starting to wash over him.

“‘ Wisdom means accepting the vicissitudes of life with grace and dignity ’, correct?” she quoted one of the pillars of Scientism. He nodded and groaned raggedly as she hit a particularly sensitive spot. “Are you  _ accepting _ me with grace and dignity right now, Max?”

He choked out an indecipherable answer, his limited breathing making it hard to speak, but she could feel him trembling under her, his back and legs tensing against her hips as they met his sweat-slicked skin.

Lenora could tell he was reaching his peak and loosened the beads around his throat, the rush of air making him gasp in surprise and he tipped over the edge, cock twitching wildly as he came untouched on the sheets beneath them with a hoarse shout. She continued to ride him until he collapsed.

“I’ll be right back,” she murmured to his boneless  form and pulled away , kissing him on the forehead before leaving to get a towel and water. She dumped the vestments, soaked with lube and sweat,  for SAM to wash later. She hoped they were salvageable, otherwise a trip to  _ Groundbreaker  _ would be in order.

Ever the  _ graceful and  _ _ dignified _ one, Max was sitting up against the  pillows when she returned, face and body flushed and glistening, and he looked like he was still coming down.

“I didn’t break you, did I?”

“Slightly,” he wheezed. His breath had slowed but still sounded slightly  raspy.  “ I’ve never… felt like that. I’d—I’d like to do that again. Sometime. If you’d like.”

“You were incredible,” she assured him as she gently washed him, “and I would love nothing more.”

He showed her just how grateful she was as she knelt over his head and let his lips do all their wordless thanking between her legs.

When they sat for dinner later, he winced and hissed in pain settling into the chair.

“You okay?” Len asked,  brow pinched in concern.

“I… might not be able to sit comfortably for a while,” Max admitted feebly. She tossed him a wicked stare and shrugged.

“If I had it my way, you wouldn’t be able to sit normally ever again.” She chuckled at the blush that crossed his face. “Speechless? That’s a first.”

“It seems you’ve finally discovered how to shut me up,” he muttered, his embarrassment not quite masking the pleased and pleading look in his eyes.

* * *

Phineas called a few mornings later with news. The colonists were waking up.

Len pushed her way through the  _ Hope _ , nearly breaking down every door in her way to get to her parents.

“Mom? Dad? Holy shit,” she exclaimed, rushing towards two cots in the long-unused medical bay. They both lay adjacently, still groggy but awake, and her brother was just starting to stir beside them. A small team of doctors bustled around them as they all embraced each other.

“Lennie? Oh, thank God,” her mom sobbed, holding her tight. “We didn’t know where we were and these—these doctors told us you were here and I-I couldn’t believe it.”

“ I’m here, Mom, it’s okay. Dad , thank God you’re okay,” she wrapped her other arm around him. “You’re in Halcyon. I have so much to tell you, fuck—”

“Hey,  mija . Language,” her dad croaked, triggering a tearful laugh, the first time in decades, and Len nearly broke into full sobs.

A voice familiar to Len piped up. “Lennie… where am I…?” her brother rasped. “Mom, Dad, what…?”

“Oh, God,  Che ,” she cried as her brother sat up slowly. “We’re in Halcyon, bud, you finally made it,” Len answered, holding his arm. “I’ve been awake for a while. There’s… a  _ lot _ to explain.”

She started to relay the abridged version of her adventures across the colony, her parents with rapt attention and her brother fading back into sleep. “My, my crew,” she explained, “They’ve all gone their separate ways now—I mean, we keep in touch, and a few stayed for a while. Um, one of them is still with me, actually. He’s, ah, a former vicar.”

“Former?” her dad raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

“It’s… the religion here is different, Dad, it’s not like that, but, uh, we’re… together. And I want you to meet him.” She spun around and gestured for Max to come in from where he was standing nervously in the doorway. “Max, this is Arturo and  Maryn . That's my brother Ernesto. Should probably let him rest.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Zander, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Your daughter—well, nothing I say can really express, but she’s quite literally saved the colony. I cannot speak highly enough of her and everything she’s done. You should be immensely proud of her.” Max brushed the back of his hand against hers and she blushed in return, clearing her  throat and focusing back on her parents.

“You guys are the first of the revivals, but once more people wake  up, we’re going to start working on the food shortage here. It was looking really, really grim but… I think we’re  gonna be okay.” She held them both again, hardly believing her parents were actually living, breathing beside her.

“I have so many ideas already,” her dad said excitedly, pulling a small stack of loose papers full of notes from the bedside table. “They wouldn’t let me write but I stole a pen—”

“Art, no!” Len’s mom exclaimed. “We come to this new colony and you’re already  engaging in _ criminal activity—” _

“Mom... no one cares,” Ernesto suddenly croaked. “Let Dad have his little projects or he’ll drive you crazy.”

“I already drive her crazy,” Arturo beamed, scribbling furiously as he talked. “We should only be here for a few more days of monitoring and then they’re sending us to... Terra 2?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’ll show you around.” Len grinned. “I’ve got stuff to take care of but I’ll be back to visit tomorrow, okay?”

“Love you, mija.”

“Love you, Dad. You too, Mom. And I guess you too, Che.”

“Gee, thanks.” Ernesto gave her a thumbs up as he reclined on the bed with eyes closed.

* * *

“Feeling nostalgic?” Max asked, handing her a bottle of Algae Lager. They were sitting on the porch of her parents’ new home in a small town that had cropped up in the unused land outside of Byzantium watching Halcyon’s central star sink in the sky. The whole area was blanketed in deep orange light, a cool breeze carrying the smell of grass and rain.

“Am I that easy to read?” Len grinned. “It’s just... weird being out of the ship, breathing in fresh air, smelling my dad’s cooking again. Like the ghost of another life just floated into the room.”

“Hmm,” he hummed in  response, leaning over the porch railing and taking in the view.

“It’s nice to be on solid ground,” she commented, sipping her drink thoughtfully. He looked back at her with quirked eyebrows. “Have you ever considered... settling down somewhere?”

“Well... I never anticipated leaving Edgewater, so... technically, yes. But I wouldn’t have enjoyed that nearly as much as I enjoyed joining you. What about it?”

“I haven’t thought about the... future, I guess, because we’ve been living in the  _ now _ and it’s been so chaotic and unstable. But now that everything is  calmer, I wonder... well, I can plan for a future now.”

“Does that future include me?”

Her chest clenched and her heart pounded.  _ That’s a normal question, why are you freaking out? _

“Max,  _ yes,” _ she laughed. “I’m not... I’m not going anywhere.”

He offered her a hand and a gentle, watery smile. “We could take the ship and find a place. Discover what more Halcyon has for us.”

“Oh. That—yeah. That sounds... yeah, I’d—I’d like that.”

Max frowned slightly. “If you aren’t inclined to the idea—”

“Max, no, I—I love that.” Her voice trembled slightly and she slid next to him, squeezing his hand. “Fuck, that sounds... so good. Where should we go first?”

“Perhaps Ms.  Ramnarim -Wentworth would appreciate a visit on Monarch?”

“I am not fucking moving to Monarch—”

“But a visit will still be good, yes?”

“I mean—yeah, yeah. You’re right.”

“I believe there is still a cabin in Fallbrook available for our use,” Max suggested, causing Len to blush.

“I’ve been missing that bed, yeah,” she nearly moaned at the memories. “Fine. Fallbrook and Stellar Bay, then we’ll  _ actually  _ start our search. Maybe on Terra 2.”

“No Hephaestus? Here I believed my Captain to have a sense of adventure,” he scoffed playfully.

She reached for his shoulder and turned him towards her. “Shut the fuck up.”

Their lips met in a searing kiss. She slipped her tongue into his mouth, sliding behind his teeth to pull a groan out of him. Changing course, she pulled away and started a trail of kisses up his neck and jaw, nipping and sucking around the shell of his ear. He pressed against her, pinning her hips to the railing, and growled.

“If you continue this, I’m going to have to ask you to accompany me back to the ship.  _ Captain.” _

“Always trying to take charge,” Len chuckled. “Take me away, then.”

They said their goodbyes to Len’s family and made their way back to the  _ Unreliable _ , stealing kisses along the way.

"Max? I love you.”

“And I, you,” he smiled.

“ADA, take us to Fallbrook.”

“Fallbrook first?” he asked, surprised.

“I won’t be able to hold a conversation with any of our associates until I fuck you senseless, so Fallbrook it is.”

Max blushed deeply and sputtered, “Can you not  fucking control yourself?”

“When you look like that, all annoyed and wanting? Absolutely not.”

“I—f-fuck,” he leaned into her touch as she cupped his growing erection over his pants.

“What was that?”

“F-fine,” he grunted, “I see your— _ fuck _ —your point.”

“Thank you,” she sighed dreamily.

“Erm... you’re welcome?”

“For staying with me.”

“After everything we’ve accomplished... I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.” He gasped as her hand squeezed between his legs a little harder. “Ah! I—I love you.”

“Oh, Max...” She took his hand and wordlessly led him to her— _ their _ —quarters.

“Halcyon is lucky to have you, Lenora,” Max quipped as they undressed.

“Oh? It’s luck, not the Grand Plan in action?” she teased.

“Not at all. Everything is chaos, but... I feel safe knowing the future of the colony is in  _ excellent _ hands.”

“Let me show you what those excellent hands can do, Maximillian.”

"Architect above, Lenora, I beg it of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to post Max getting pegged for like. four months lmao FINALLY
> 
> I don't even know what to say except I'm VERY sad and kind of crying as I post this!! Thank you all so so much for your comments, kudos, everything. I love this fandom and the little community we've built through our fan fiction. 😢😭❤️️
> 
> Feel free to keep up with me on Tumblr @ hellacopterwrites, otherwise I've got some other Outer Worlds stuff planned: some Max backstory, a short Felix/Lenora fic that fits in the background of In the Interest of Honesty, and I'm also maybe thinking about a TOW Western!AU collab with other writers 🤔 much to think about 🤔
> 
> THANK YOU for sticking with this and I hope you've enjoyed the journey as much as I have!!! I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU


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